I have always had a difficult relationship with my sister. We've never been particularly close although it took me a while to realise it.
Essentially she got married a few years ago, I wasnt part of the wedding party at all and I was pretty surprised. Found out I wasnt a bridesmaid as 6 years previously (yes, she holds a grudge) she had a car accident with my son. I found out by my parents calling to say she'd been in an accident and was in hospital. I asked how my son was, they had no idea he was in the car or how he was. luckily he was fine, as was my sister (think putting it on for a compo claim, seatbelt trauma she called it) I was furious that it took 3 hours for anyone to contact me again to update me and made it clear she wasnt taking him out alone again. Not stopping from seeing, but not having him alone because frankly I should have been one of the first to be called and told he was ok, it wasnt the accident it was the handling of it.
So move forward to me asking why im not involved in the wedding to be told its because of how I stopped her from having her nephew after this incident.
Move forward a couple of years, she has a baby. Im last to know, found out the name through facebook and was told no visitors...except all the ones uploading pictures on facebook. I was allowed to visit after 2 weeks.
so needless to say with my wedding she was invited but not part of it, as an olive branch I provided her accommodation, she was sat with bridesmaids and included at all points.
I hear nothing from her until there is a facebook message telling me shes pregnant.
Then (and this is the final straw) an invite for her nieces birthday arrives in the post to my kids. We live 2 hours away so understandably I say no.
Sister see's my son when he was at his Dads, says she'll be disappointed if he isn't there. My mum then steps in tells my daughter and son she'll take them.
So son and daughter last night call to confirm details.
then I get a message saying I need to collect them Sunday. I say no, then im told I need to meet half way Sunday. I say no. Then im told im hurting my Mum by not helping her out. I explain that shes promised the kids, my sister has guilted them into going (this is an 11 and 10 year old to a 3 year olds party) and it's her mess to sort not mine.
The more I think about this whole thing the more angry I am getting. I havent seen my niece since my wedding and wouldnt have known about her being pregnant if it hadn't been for facebook. I want to tell my sister to not contact me or my kids again and I want to tell my Mum to butt out and not make promises to them about anything again.
every time something kicks off I get ridiculously upset that I am the one being told to be nice and make concessions (even to the point of, you must make your sister a bridesmaid to make amends for her excluding you....WTF??!) So instead of getting upset I want to cut her off, then she cant do anything to upset me or drag the kids into...AIBU?