Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... about birthday cake

128 replies

daftbesom · 28/09/2016 22:22

So here's the situation.

DH had a birthday a few days ago, his DM baked a lovely cake and brought it over. We all had a bit and it is yum. We left the remainder sitting on the table under its posh cover.

Today DH had a bit of a go at our two teen DSs for eating some of the cake without asking, when they came home from school. He says he wouldn't begrudge them it, he just wants them to ask as it is his cake, a gift from his mother etc.

I can't agree with him - it's on the table and it's food, they always have a snack when they get in from school, it wouldn't enter my head to expect them to ask before they ate some cake (which would mean they'd have to wait until we were both back from work - by which time it'd be dinnertime anyway). They haven't finished it, there is still some for him.

I think if you don't want people to eat something you're earmarking as "yours", don't leave it sitting on the table ...?

AIBU?

OP posts:
DixieWishbone · 30/09/2016 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatamessIgotinto · 30/09/2016 16:38

Do adults really think like this? It's MY cake therefore your own children need to ask permission for a piece? It wouldn't occur to me not to share my birthday cake with my Dc's - if it's there, it's to be eaten.

usual · 30/09/2016 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 30/09/2016 16:50

We've always asked tbh, so that's not odd to me, but if it's not happened before I nobody "knows" it's a bit daft to go overboard about it.

KateInKorea · 30/09/2016 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 30/09/2016 16:55

YANBU

it's days old birthday cake - probably going a bit stale.

Go and buy every one cakes apart from him and tell him to make himself sick eating to himself !

MrsF1 · 30/09/2016 16:59

As a mother I have spent years sharing my meals with the kids, so why shouldn't your husband share some of his cake? It's just one flipping cake. It's not like they ate it all and he never got to try any of it. He needs to grow up. If he has such a huge problem with sharing, he should've stuck a polite note on it or eaten it all.

2kids2dogsnosense · 30/09/2016 17:00

Smurfy

This is it in our house, too. We share. You can eat your share when you want, but you eat your share only unless somebody is stupid enough to say "I'm going on a diet" in which case there is a huge clamour for the remainder. However, most diets in this house start after cake.

pictish · 30/09/2016 17:11

I think it's manners to ask before helping yourself to someone's birthday cake, yes.

usual · 30/09/2016 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Winemamma · 30/09/2016 17:12

Yanbu. Don't get me wrong if I buy something for me, like the Ben and Jerry's icecream currently in our freezer that my daughter insisted she wanted for her pudding yesterday, I wouldn't (and wasn't) best pleased. However I am an adult and she is my child, I wouldn't begrudge her a bit of icecream and don't see why your husband would begrudge his children some of his birthday cake! It's not like they ate it all.

BakeOffBiscuits · 30/09/2016 17:13

As long as they didn't take the last slice then of course they should have helped themselves.

Like you said OP, can you imagine the reaction if a child said "it's my have to ask me if you want some". Most people would respond with a talk on sharing.

pictish · 30/09/2016 17:16

Usual was that to me? If so, then the answer's yes.

When we make a birthday cake here, the cake is of course shared out but the remainder belongs to the person whose birthday it is. This is normally shared out as well...but it is never a case of help yourself.

Sweetpeamummy · 30/09/2016 17:17

Hubby needs to sort out his ninja skills because he's obviously crap at hiding cake! Who leaves cake on the table? Everyone knows that food in sight of littler people means you lose control of the amount that goes in your belly, it's why we hide chocolate from kids!

Katedotness1963 · 30/09/2016 17:20

I think, if it was a gift, they should have asked. If it was family treat food, wouldn't it be nice if the family was together when they ate it?

I'm 53 and have had two birthday cakes in my entire life so what do I know...

usual · 30/09/2016 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stormtreader · 30/09/2016 17:26

I was with him until you said that the teens get cake on their birthday and the family doesnt wait to ask them permission.
If the established rule is that cake is up for grabs, then thats the rule for everyone.

brasty · 30/09/2016 17:31

I agree with him. It was a gift to him. It is not an ordinary part of the household food. It is like being given a gift of a box of chocolates and someone else eating them without even asking.

usual · 30/09/2016 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1474781546 · 30/09/2016 17:34

brasty- it's not like a box of chocolates.

Who can eat a whole birthday cake to themselves? And within 2 days before it goes stale? Birthday cakes are sharing gifts.

A box of chocolates ( which are shared in our house anyway but that's a different matter) can be opened and last for a few weeks, having one or two a day if that's how you want to eat them.

sariesoo · 30/09/2016 17:53

No, yanbu. I agree with everyone who has said once it's been cut into and everyone has had some then the remainder is fair game. The celebration was when you sang the song and cut the cake. After that, it's just cake.

KilgraveMadeMeDoIt · 30/09/2016 17:55

Your husband sounds like an entitled dickweed

KilgraveMadeMeDoIt · 30/09/2016 17:55

Also YANBU. Hope your sons enjoyed the cake!

FurryLittleTwerp · 30/09/2016 17:56

Next year he could have a big sharing cake plus a little one out of some spare mixture for himself.

Cake is cake is cake

Ghodavies · 30/09/2016 18:01

It's a bloody cake!!
Tell him to get over himself!

Swipe left for the next trending thread