I don't think I should cook every night

[LurkyLurkerMcLurkface]

I'm on maternity leave at the moment with 8 month DS. DH works full time and is out of the house 8am-6pm. Our evening routine is pretty set, he gets in and takes DS, I get food ready for DS. He'll then sit with DS while he eats. He then does books/bath and I do final feed and settle. I then come down and cook
Every. Fucking. Night
Last night I'd had enough and cooked for myself and left him to it. He's been sulking since.
AIBU to think this should be a shared job?

"I've been at work all day. Are you going to come round and cook for me?"

WANNA SHARE MY GIN-BASED FEAST, 53rd?

🍸🍸🍸

M&S ready meals a couple of nights per week. Takeaway twice a week. 1 cooked weekday meal, and share the weekend cooking.

You don't have to be perfect.

I suspect my mil is posting on this thread.

Gosh...my OH should read this. I haven't read all comments though. I've always cooked. 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Well, no that's a lie, we probably have a take away about 4 times a year. My OH works 7 days a week. I only work part time a couple of mornings. My OH comes in at lunchtime and usually has his lunch made by me. Occasionally he has to get his own. He then comes in for his dinner and goes back out to work. (I wash up etc too) Dinner is expected of me. I have always felt this is how it should be as I'm at home and he's working.
If I worked full time then of course I would expect him to help out more. His long hours and having 3 children is exactly why I don't work lots more hours. Though I'd love the extra money.

Sorry Perpendicular ,Liev is a father of two DC and lives with his DP Naomi Watts, not sure about his cooking abilities , ( will enquire). So I dont think he will supply the answer to OP or anyone elses culinary needs.
On the bright side for the OP the child will be able to ( with a little training, a book on "batch cooking", and a "slow cooker"), cook for both her and DH in a few years time .

I'm a SAHM of 3 DC...my husband works long hours. I used to work long hours (once)....I have some weeks where I cook alot and some where I don't. Don't ever ever end up doing something every day that makes you deeply unhappy or resentful, only functioning misery comes from that. Be rational, tell them earlier it's cheese on toast rather than roast chicken...don't be reactive, be calm and know you are his equal and I'm pretty sure he'll get it...

They have split...

I should read the newspapers !!

YANBU. AT ALL. It's really hard work and full-on with a tiny baby. I guess DH has never done a whole day with DS on his Jack? Try it sometime, bog off for the day. See if he gets time to prepare a sumptuous feast for your evening meal. I'll bet he won't - he will see how the day runs away with you when looking after a little one.

I used to get the babies in the highchair with a pan and a wooden spoon and let them cook and watch me cook. It worked every time at that age.

It drives me up the wall that I have to cook every meal but it ends up taking dh twice as long with twice the mess

I have a 9 month old and a 6 year old. Husband gets home at 7/8 usually. I do quick stuff that isn't overly processed but use cheats. Today was pasta with meatballs but I used Passata as the base and the mince was fresh but already in ball shapes! I have to bath both kids myself also and sort reading/homework and sometimes even dishes if dh is really late or tired. I breast feed also so then have baby to settle once 6 year old is in bed. I don't mind too much cos I know it's going to be 10 times harder when I return to work in 4 months.

Also on mat leave with 8 month old DD. DH cooks about four times a week however I do all the bedtime routines meals etc with the kids etc.., it's whatever works and is fair for you guys

WANNA SHARE MY GIN-BASED FEAST, 53rd?

Hell yes

(Also I had never heard of Jacquetta Woodville until I read a whole thing about her medical history yesterday, and today, behold! Coincidence? Or least impressive contribution ever to the next MN woo thread?)

Why do you think you should have to cook every night? When my children were young I would go to work for a break! Bringing up a child is the hardest work so not sure why you feel you have to continue the work into the evening instead of having a break. Even for 20 minutes....... that can be a life saver. I have teenage children and believe me it is essential not to take on all responsibility for everything in order for you to get through the many years of childrearing ahead. YOu are not a machine!!! Let your partner make your meal or their own and occasionally go out for a meal if you can. Having children is not a life sentence of perpetual unpaid serfdom!!! Just a thought......keep well.x

Oh ffs I haven't rtft but the husband was sat messing on the computer - why couldn't he crack on with making dinner??! OP yanbu. At the mo me & dh both work part time but whoever isn't sorting the kids out makes dinner whether or not they've been at work.
What happened pre dc when you were both out of the house til 6 - here we took it in turns to cook, why on earth should that change just because we have kids!!

I have now rtft...wonderful in places (chipped)..so so so depressing in others...now I remember why I don't ever post...

Your job is in the home, his job is out at work, do your job!!
If it's because you want a change, then get a babysitter and go out to eat/ get a take away.
But do yr job properly and part of yr work is cooking!!!!!
You are childish by not cooking for him after he has been out at wk all day, you sound spoilt, you want it your way or you will throw yr toys out of yr pram.
If yr bored, do something about it...not take it out on him!!

When you go back to work then things can be shared more, a rota maybe??

GDarling her job isn't cleaner, cook & general fecking dogsbody. Her job is to look after her child - not her bloody man child!
This thread is soooo depressing, so many women devaluing their worth and bowing to the poor little man who has to work all day. Aaaarrgghhh!!!

Just when you think you've read it all....

Love it 53rd wow chipped you have a very modern man!
Bloody hell some on this thread clearly think we are living in the Victorian era where wifey should have on a pinny and be grateful for being a kept woman with the sole purpose of her existence to produce an heir and look after her husband. Except of course in the Victorian era you were either wealthy enough to have a maid, or had family on hand to help, or had the elder children in the street to take baby out whilst you got on with chores.
OP if you are still here, talk to your dh and tell him to start helping more, don't let the resentment fester or your marriage will be up the creek with out a paddle.
Cooking is fucking boring when it's EVERY FUCKING DAY!
I hated being a sahm, resentment festered big time as I was expected to do everyfuckingthing; I'm now back at work, and it's a much happier family!

Petra, they've split and he's all MINE MINE MINE

your job is in the home errm no GDarling her 'job' is to look after the baby, I think you'll find a grown man should be able to look after himself.

Oops xpost with brinjal