Shove I agree with your points, especially point two. That's what I was trying to say- everyone who is a teacher, junior doctor, solicitor, works in IT, even some consultants (!) tell me they have more admin, work longer hours and feel underappreciated and underpaid. This is (IMO) a combination of the recession making employers feel they can extract their pound of flesh from their employees with no real risk they'll go elsewhere as there are more people than jobs, plus a general bureaucratization of the professions which is not unique to academia (and well documented within it). Academics like to appear busy, and I do know some who really work crazy hours, but I don't myself, I can't, I have caring responsibilities and children. It's still fine.
I still get a buzz from my job and am excited about what I'm researching and learning, perhaps because I work a lot with industry/collaborators and so I see inside different organizations and it doesn't look nicer there, in all honesty.
I do think though, it can depend on the institution, and I wouldn't dismiss any senior academic saying 'don't go into it now', because, compared with how it was 20 years ago, it probably is a lot harder for a lot less pay and agency. The problem is that this is true really across most public sector and professional jobs. My mum was a teacher, worked hard but was home by 4 every afternoon and did not stay up at all doing lesson plans as they weren't even invented. Never worked in the six weeks holiday. Even at management level, my parents never did the long days that are now standard.
I wouldn't be put off OP as your husband sounds like, if he has a good Masters plus is already publishing, like he will be well positioned after a PhD, either to be an academic or go elsewhere, I really don't know many people who genuinely regret their PhD, especially if they were paid to do it!