My son shat by the footpath.

[LumpyMcBentface]

He said he was going for a wee, on our twenty minute walk home from school. He went behind a bush next to the footpath. When I went to pull his trousers up the evidence was there to see (and smell). He proclaimed innocence to start with and then giggled uncontrollably all the way home.

I usually have poo bags with me but I'd left the dog at home and hadn't considered I'd need them for walking a five year old. So I had to leave it.

We scarpered down the path and I think we got away with it, but I am mortified.

Should I have gone back to clean it up? I considered it but then, erm, didn't. I'm now feeling a bit guilty.

How bad is this? Please tell me your children are as gross as mine!

Accidents happen, he's very little. Surely this is no worse than drunk people being sick in the street.

Whoever made the chav comment - you obviously don't have DC or you'd be more empathetic.

It's only a child's poo. Keep your hair on people.

It's a test of parental character OP. I doubt there are many people who didn't have an Alfresco poo as a child. I agree with usual.

How did he wipe his arse

Don't fret, some dog will probably eat it if our little delight is anything to go by

I had a dog a couple of years ago he found a poo he treated it like it was treasure. He threw it in the air he rolled in it he loved that bit of poo.

Hmmm, the old surprise turd eh. This is not a big deal. Not compared to the massive human shit left on a ledge behind our swanky offices in London city...or compared to my MIL going for shit down the woods because DH was painting her bathroom and she didn't like to interupt...

How horrendous to have revolting children.

This has reminded me of the time my friend was holding her dd up to do a wee against a tree - whilst feet on tree trunk her dd says "oh I need a poo too" and 3 seconds later it arrived, like an otter off a bank, as it were. The look on my friends face was priceless, and neither of us could stand for laughing for s good while. She did pick it up though (in a bag!)

I can't get worked up over a 5 year old caught short. Kids have accidents.

Pregnancy shit and rabbit hole shit made me giggle 😂

DP shit in the woods once, he was constantly complaining of a tummy ache on a dog walk and then announced "i need a shit" he disappeared and then 're-appeared about 10minutes later and said "yeah needed a shit, I feel better now" I asked what he did with it, he just said what we always do, dig a hole, put the poo in it and then cover it back up.

It then dawned on me that when the military are on exercise in our countryside they are burying their shit. Grim haha!

DD did a poo in a shoe box once and hid it under her bed.
It took me ages to work out and find where the stink came from.
She was 18 about four at the time, she laughs now if it's mentioned.

This thread has become so funny. pmsl @grumpy

@Tallulah

my son shat in tesco carpark aged 5 (red faces all round)

"like an otter off a bank"

Don't worry about it, accidents happen. It's a one off and not directly where people tread. This happened to me with dd 4 once, she had the runs and had to go so she went behind a bush. I had no water, as it was watery you coukd not exactly pick it up, and we were a bus ride from home. I rather she do it there, than in her pants. Never happened again thank goodness.

I was once on holiday in remote area of Britain. On day out, I suddenly needed loo. Totally lost bowel control. I had no choice but to squat down there and then. I was miles from car with no plastic bags. I hid the poo in the sand a bit, covered it as best I could with a stick and walked away trying not to think about it. It had never happened before and hasn't happened since (was years ago). That night it rained so I figured it just broke down into ground. Bit disgusting but I didn't have a choice. Worse things happen. Cannot believe some of the reactions on here.

Been there done that. We live rurally and the boys take great pleasure in alfresco wees on the way home from school. When walking with friends this generally ends up as a group event.

The occasional alfresco poo has happened in the past. Of course most of the time of they say they need a poo when out then they wait until we reach home or a public loo but sometimes a small child can't wait. We were playing by the river once and dd declared herself to be desperate so we went off and dug a hole and buried it, the alternative would have been shit in pants which when we were a half hour walk from home was less than ideal. Though of course ds1 fell in the river while i was dealing with the poo so we had to go home anyway. Picked ds1 up from school once and teacher told me he had just had a bout of diarrhoea. We were walking home. He made several bush trips

Sunshine I feel your pain. I went to the potty the other day with a jubilant child to find nothing but a skid mark and a very happy dog

While it is a bit off. Ignore the revolting brigade. These things happen. I expect theirs comes out smelling of flowers and glittery. Just try not to make a habit.

Someone took a shit in a display toilet at the local homebase. At least where your DC shat it will wash away eventually

I heard it's illegal to wee in public (you can hold it. ..apparel. I've a Lucosade bloke for my boys emergencies. .. Jeeese dh thinks it's gross but when they're training id have to lift them horizontally to stop dribbles and ensuing wet pants..twins so needs must) but apparently a poo isn't because you can't control it. Maybe that's crap but I stored that nugget in my head. ..

Sugar...
Apparently not apperel
And bottle not bloke...