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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My son shat by the footpath.

253 replies

LumpyMcBentface · 23/09/2016 20:18

He said he was going for a wee, on our twenty minute walk home from school. He went behind a bush next to the footpath. When I went to pull his trousers up the evidence was there to see (and smell). He proclaimed innocence to start with and then giggled uncontrollably all the way home.

I usually have poo bags with me but I'd left the dog at home and hadn't considered I'd need them for walking a five year old. So I had to leave it.

We scarpered down the path and I think we got away with it, but I am mortified.

Should I have gone back to clean it up? I considered it but then, erm, didn't. I'm now feeling a bit guilty.

How bad is this? Please tell me your children are as gross as mine!

OP posts:
WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 23/09/2016 20:41

Sounds like an accident, he's only 5 shit happens.

limitedperiodonly · 23/09/2016 20:41

Make DS pick it up. Some of us retch at the sight of poo.

It's not something that lifts my heart either ProudAS. I'd always go for a host of golden daffodils myself.

witchywoohoo · 23/09/2016 20:42

So if my dog shits next to the footpath that's OK and I don't need to clear it up

Slightly different SoupDragon. I'm pretty sure the OP doesn't routinely take her child for a walk in order to let him shit in the bushes. It was a one-off incident - and the OP had no control over it whatsoever. People who are walking their dogs are generally doing it for shitting purposes and should be prepared!

I also am extremely bored usual

natwebb79 · 23/09/2016 20:43

"Another chav in the making I guess."

WTF??

Grin
BlasianFashionista · 23/09/2016 20:43

OhTallulah GrinGrin

MrsMook · 23/09/2016 20:43

My 5 year old has done the same. We were in a different village away from home, and not having a dog, I don't have poo bags. It was well into the bushes anyway and I used a stick to cover it with dirt and leaves.

If I had a dog, I'd reasonably expect to have this problem and be prepared to deal with it. This was a random "surprise" years after toilet training. Nature can cope with infrequent children's incident more than regular dog walking.

Original poster
LumpyMcBentface · 23/09/2016 20:43

It wasn't a Burberry shit, I promise. Other than this unfortunate shit incident we are fairly well to do. Honest.

OP posts:
NoelHeadbands · 23/09/2016 20:43

I think bandying words like gross and chav about when talking about children is more repulsive than a bit of outdoor poo tbh

Anyway he's only five, it's not like he'd had a curry and five pints of Guinness beforehand

Allfednonedead · 23/09/2016 20:44

I've had this happen. My DS(5) has an issue with 'withholding', so if there's any chance he can get a poo out, I'm not making him hold on till we get to a toilet that may be 15 mins away.
My solution is to get him out of site, off the beaten track and use a plastic bag. Just like a dog.

BitOfFun · 23/09/2016 20:45

If it was behind a bush, you'd actually have to go looking for it to have a righteous retch, surely?

BewtySkoolDropowt · 23/09/2016 20:45

Don't worry op, there's hope.

A local boy the same age as me (so many years ago now..) had a poo in the middle of the pavement when a big group of us were outside playing.

He is now high up in social work and generally very well regarded. Despite the fact that there were quite a lot of us that witnessed this 'offence'.

So unless you do something daft like tell thousands of people on the internet about it, I'm sure he'll be fine.

Oh wait... ;)

Julia001 · 23/09/2016 20:46

I remember my daughter who was about two saying that she needed a pee, turns out that she needed a poo too, there was no stopping it, gross, but, shit, as they say, happens :-)

HoneyDragon · 23/09/2016 20:47

If it was behind a bush, you'd actually have to go looking for it to have a righteous retch, surely?

Good point. I fancy a good old bosom hoicking can a have the gsp, longitude and latitude please op?

Idefix · 23/09/2016 20:48

Nah op shit happens.

Recall using a paper coffee cup to scoop dd poo from the beach at a similar age, if I had had nothing to hand I would have left it.

Obviously a hair away from being a chav Grin

Dd is 16 and no longer poops on the beach so all is not lost.

Justfivemoreminutesplease · 23/09/2016 20:49

Urgh, I would have walked back later and picked it up, but that's only because my dog has been out walking and clearly eaten human poo as the smell when we came back home was repulsive - and then I had to try and clean her mouth / teeth knowing what it was Confused. Somehow all the other crap she tries to eat is nothing compared to the stink of half eaten human poo remaining in her mouth

Ohb0llocks · 23/09/2016 20:49

I hope those that are judging this boy so harshly don't smother horse shit on their gardens Grin

limitedperiodonly · 23/09/2016 20:49

OP used the word 'adjacent'. It's too upwardly mobile for a chav. I think she's the kind of person who lets her child poo in a potty in Jamie's Italian and hands it to the waitress.

SecretRed · 23/09/2016 20:50

Fucking hell. To all the people calling a five year old child a chav, disgusting and gross, really? Does that make you feel good about yourself? Has your child never had a wtf moment where you thought why the hell have you just done that?
Jesus.

SheldonsSpot · 23/09/2016 20:51

The OP called her own child gross.

AdmiralData · 23/09/2016 20:52

A kid needed to send a fax to Cleveland, this won't be the first time in history that it's happened ffs. Chav in the making? Confused really?
Op, if it isn't too far away could you possibly go back and bag it up? Or maybe do it tomorrow? As another poster just mentioned it IS biodegradable and hidden in a bush so everyone needs to calm the fuck down.

acasualobserver · 23/09/2016 20:53

Perhaps he just fancied a shit in the woods to see, you know, what it was like. Mission accomplished: I bet he won't do it again. Anyway, I think it's quite funny and will make a good family story for many years to come.

usual · 23/09/2016 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoelHeadbands · 23/09/2016 20:53

I call my own dc dickheads, doesn't mean anyone else can.

witchywoohoo · 23/09/2016 20:53

justfivemoreminutes That's just made me boak!

Ringadingdingdong22 · 23/09/2016 20:53

Some of the reactions on here are way over the top. A 5 year old got caught short and did a poo behind a bush. Seriously pick those hoiked up judgy pants back out of your crack.

Would you have preferred it if he shat himself?

I very much doubt it's a regular occurrence. Hardly makes him a 'chav in the making'. What a ridiculous comment. You should feel embarrassed about that reply.