To wish I'd just had a c section?

[Absofrigginlootly]

DD is 22 months old. Had a vaginal delivery after over an hour at the pushing stage (!) with failed vontouse so they used forceps with an episiotomy. Still resulted in a 3rd degree tear. I had to go to theatre straightaway afterwards anyway because of a retained placenta (and they stitched me up while I was there) so I ended up being separated from DD for 1.5 hours only 10 minutes after she was born . This affected both myself and DD for quite some time.

My recovery was awful, I could barely walk, sit or climb the stairs for several months. It made breastfeeding so much harder because I couldn't move about easily.

I've had to have ongoing physio to try and improve my pelvic floor tone. I have always enjoyed running, it's the only exercise I do enjoy because I feel like it gives you a good whole body workout and gets you outside in the fresh air. I'm not one for gyms, loud music and exercise machines.... My physio said to me today that running is not really the best exercise for me because of the 'pounding' affect it has on the pelvic floor. She said she's obviously not going to tell me I can't do it, but that she thought something like an elliptical trainer would be better.

I feel gutted. I wish I'd just had a bloody c section when it was obvious that DD was stuck and not coming out on her own.

But I was so out of it at that point that when they asked me if I wanted to avoid a section they could use forceps I just said whatever you thinks best you're the obgyn!

I hadn't done much research about birthing options tbh because I was sort of in denial that we'd actually reach the point of giving birth (long story) so also feel angry at myself for not researching it because I've since read several things online and on here where people have said that they would always pass over vontouse/forceps and go straight for c section. But really, it shouldn't be down to the patient to have to advocate for their best interests should it? The HCPs should be doing that anyway.

Aibu to think that the whole push to get c section rates down is actually a negative influence on women's birth experiences and choices?

Just feeling fragile. Please be kind

Sorry you had such a hard time OP I had an emergency section with DC1 after a long labour. It took me many weeks to recover.

I had planned to have a VBAC with DC2 but at 38 weeks my consultant recommended an elective CS as she felt the baby was quite big. However, DC2 decided to arrive the day before the planned section, so I ended up having a VBAC in the end, albeit with help from a ventouse.

I recovered so much more quickly from the vaginal delivery and was doing my Christmas shopping a couple of days later! There's no way I could have even contemplated that after the section. I guess every situation is different and depends on a unique set of circumstances. Hope you feel better soon.

Everybody is different op, some people in the same situation would choose differently. Neither is a wrong choice.

I had similar to you op- 3rd degree tear, forceps, 9 months of physio, scar tissue, anal fissures etc and 5 hrs of pushing after a 3 day induced labour.

My second baby, however, was an elc as I had placenta praevia and I can honestly say it was way worse. I was much more frightened in the elc despite everything going fine and recovery much easier.

I am now having my 3rd and having a vaginal birth despite being offered another elc.

Sorry you feel so sad about the first birth.

This will sound like a terrible thing to say - how you feel about the birth of your child will change over time. I had two difficult births - a c section under GA and forceps delivery (it took a good few months to physically get over it and a couple of years to get over it emotionally). Yes it was badly managed, but I have two lovely children. Why not just try s slow run? People who tell you not to do the exercise are usually talking from a perspective of unfit people ie, 90% of the population. I did it and it was fine.

While it is difficult to be sure c-section would have been better for you in that situation it was certainly right for me.

With my first DD labour initially was going well but in hospital contractions slowed to an almost stop. I had a longish labour with eventual drip to increase contractions and epidural. By the time it got to pushing I had nothing left to give and also found it hard due to lack of sensation. She hadn't descended after pushing for quite a while. The obstetrician suggested trial of forceps and I said I felt the baby was too high. He said he would only do if the baby descended further on the way to theatre but in theatre disregarded this and was about to try forceps anyway. I was crying and incoherent with tiredness at this stage but thank goodness my DH stood up and said 'this is not what she wants'. At which point finally everyone listened and I had a c-section. My DD came out crying with no bruising. I was only in hospital for one night and even with a minor wound infection had a good recovery. I really believe high forceps would have been a disaster for both DD and me and may very well have ended with a c-section anyway.

On Monday of this week I have had an elective c-section for DD2. Home the next day. Breastfeeding going well. A much more happy and positive experience all round.

Well wishing and hoping to change something that happened in the past is not a productive (but I'm sure you know that).

I would highly recommend some physio led pilates to help with the recovery from the tearing. I've been doing it since my 3rd degree tear and it has been great for getting my pelvic floor back in shape with the added bonus of sorting out lower back pain and improving my posture. I run and exercise regularly without wetting myself (never thought that was going to be something I would brag about!!!!!).

I think maybe your right, some consultants and hospitals often get too caught up in the stats and in doing so lose sight of what is best for the mother. However, as the obstetrician poster up thread has said, opting for a section that late poses significant risks to the baby.

you know this is very true. I am pretty sure I didn't get whisked off for a c section because c section stats were a really big thing when I was giving birth to my first and hospitals were trying to get them down where I was.

I accept that by the time I was ready for forceps the baby may have been too far down for a c section. But I think the decision for c section could have been taken earlier. I also think the decision to let me push for so long was a big contributor to my pph.

My dh met my ob years later (I obviously never went back to her) and she apologised for my treatment.

BTW I didn't mean that to sound harsh I just wanted to make a moving forward to help you get back to running suggestion, in an I can't help you change the past but I could possibly help you with your future type way.

. YNBU. However. Be under no illusion A c/section is not by any means an easy way out. It's a major operation. It's not a walk in the park.
That said though. I highly doubt a vaginal birth is a walk in the park either.

Stunned at how common forceps deliveries still are in the UK. In the US, they are now pretty unusual. And Kiellands have been banned altogether.

Mary I think the thing with forceps (if I understand properly!) is that if they're more common practice is actually safer because the Drs are experienced at doing them.

The US has a much more intervention led style of practicing medicine and the way Drs hold their liscences means they could get personally sued rather than the NHS as a whole, means they're more likely to opt for a section (I used to be a HCP in the NHS and now live in the states so I feel reasonably confident in that observation)

Rather than the fact that forceps are inherently riskier than sections....?
I mean I don't know fully, hence why I felt a bit upset and frustrated after my physio appointment today thinking I wish I'd have opted for a section.

But actually reading these replies has been very helpful at putting it into perspective that I would never have known how a section would have turned out (someone said that ^^ and it made me think as I hadn't considered that!)

I guess some births are just tricky and that's just bad luck?

Donatella I will look into Pilates thanks for the suggestion

Generally my pelvic floor isn't in too bad a shape- I'm not incontinent and I don't pee myself when I sneeze or jump on a trampoline.... But it does feel weaker and I get a feeling of heaviness when running and afterwards for a while.....

Does that sound bad enough to stop running? The physio said the issue could be that running could weaken it further which could cause problems later...

I'm so upset about the thought of not running I hate those bloody machines!

The US has a much more intervention led style of practicing medicine and the way Drs hold their liscences means they could get personally sued rather than the NHS as a whole, means they're more likely to opt for a section (I used to be a HCP in the NHS and now live in the states so I feel reasonably confident in that observation)

I gave birth to all my children in the US. I know what you mean about intervention-led etc but the reality is I had an horrendous birth experience for my first because my hospital and ob wanted to keep their c-section stats down. In the US. If I had given birth in Ireland I think I would have been more likely to have had a c-section.

Instead of looking at the rates of c section against normal birth, I would be more interested in looking at rates of injury and long term harm to women after each birth.

I had long term harm after my "vaginal" birth and it is only luck that stitches didn't interfere with my sex life. I bounced back after both c sections no issues - they were way easier.

My delivery with DC1 was very similar. I don't think people realise how traumatic forceps can be!

DC2's delivery was perfect. I was really surprised. Just a few stitches and I was up and showering within the hour.

During my second pregnancy I of course discussed birth options with my obstetrician. She advised just want nan said above, that a late caesarean is very challenging and has a risk of serious complications.

I found physio very helpful for my recovery- hopefully yours will also continue to go well.

Much research has been done on the issue. It did find that harm was greater in the CS group on average. You do get many vaginal births that are ok and that alters the figures. As I say, with a couple of mine I've had worse periods. No stitches, tears , no pain relief used, etc. Drove pretty much the next day etc.
Some CS will be better than some vb, but some vb will be better than CS.
Trouble is you don't know what sort if vb you might get.

Forceps are basically cheaper than cesareans. Well, if you subtract all the downstream costs caused by busted pelvic floors, that is.

I've since read several things online and on here where people have said that they would always pass over vontouse/forceps and go straight for c section.

I had this on my birth plan - that in the case of complications starting to rise, I wanted a c-section and not ventrouse or forceps. The midwife said that was fine, but it would possibly be more traumatic if the baby had gotten stuck relatively far down the birth canal, as he'd have to be pushed back up for a section.

Fortunately I didn't need it (I was very lucky with my labour, birth and recovery), but I was happy that my requirements weren't dismissed out of hand. A lot of hospitals will do anything to avoid c-sections as the numbers are recorded and seen as a 'bad' thing, mother's choice between damned.

Much research has been done on the issue. It did find that harm was greater in the CS group on average.

I read that that was because the studies bundled all sections together - elective, emergency and crash. The non-elective sections skew the numbers, as obviously they only happen when something has gone wrong.

When just looking at the electives, they actually had fewer complications and better recovery times than vaginal births on average. But again, the vaginal births include assisted deliveries, which lead to more injuries. A 'good' vaginal birth will always be easier to recover from than a section, but you don't know what sort of birth you're going to get!

In short, childbirth sucks.

I had an emergency C-Section after pushing for an hour, my bladder tore and I ended up in surgery for 4+ hours whilst they called a urologist out to stitch me up being it 4am on a Sunday, had to have a catheter for 3 weeks, in and out of hospital with said Catheter as it kept blocking, missed my son being born, woke up the next day completely alone having no idea that it had all gone spectacularly wrong... not trying to take away from your obvious traumatic experience but it's swings and roundabouts

Totally agree about separation from the baby (although I suspect it's actually affected your daughter less than you realise). I was separated from DS for 2 hours which I accept was necessary as he needed tests and I'd had a c-section. But I was separated from DTs for nearly 24 hours as I'd had a csection and they were premature, but they were a good weight and feeding. It just really doesn't seem to be prioritised as it's 'just' an emotional thing. But anything which affects the mental health of the mother seems to come right at the bottom of the pile. All the midwives seemed bothered about was getting me to pump milk, they really didn't seem to grasp why the separation was so distressing.

The hospitals entire attitude seemed to be that until discharge they were their babies and not mine. It was horrid, really horrid. It takes a long time to get over the fact that something you have loved and nurtured for 9 months has been snatched into someone else's control and you can't even see them without good reason other than the fact they're taking their own sweet time to cross the ts and dot the is.

I personally would run in the circumstances you describe but also do pilates to strengthen the pelvic floor. It will also focus on loads of the muscles you use whilst running so it's a bit of a win-win

All the best.

Yes, I and everyone I know would far rather have a planned section than major interventions. You get the worst of both worlds. I think the problem is in deciding what your chances of having a natural delivery are, and how much you don't want interventions.

Most people I know would rather have had a section to be on the safe side if there were any risk factors (such as previous section) while most doctors would prefer they gave natural delivery 'a go ' first (which usually seems to be code for ' it's now too late to choose a section so we will do things exactly how we want to ').

OP try and get some personal Pilates lessons where you're one to one with the instructor. They really do help you train the proper muscles to pull everything up and in.

I had a great birth although long with DC1, a terrible induction resulting in a 3rd degree year and prolapsed bladder with DC2 (resulting in 18 months later a serious operation to repair everything for which the recovery was awful, painful, debilitating and very long) and then an elective with DC3 as repair meant I couldn't give birth naturally.

I now run and do numerous different classes and lift weights but the Pilates has enabled me to do that. It really is amazing what our bodies can go through and you mustn't continue giving yourself a hard time on the back of what could have beens.

If it helps any... C-sections are not necessarily an easier option....
I could barely move for the first 3-4 weeks, I was in that much pain and it was almost 10 months before I could stand up straight again.
I had no choice as DS got into difficulties as 31 weeks... so emergency CS... not a whole lot of fun...
Hope you start feeling better soon... xx