To wish I'd just had a c section?

[Absofrigginlootly]

DD is 22 months old. Had a vaginal delivery after over an hour at the pushing stage (!) with failed vontouse so they used forceps with an episiotomy. Still resulted in a 3rd degree tear. I had to go to theatre straightaway afterwards anyway because of a retained placenta (and they stitched me up while I was there) so I ended up being separated from DD for 1.5 hours only 10 minutes after she was born . This affected both myself and DD for quite some time.

My recovery was awful, I could barely walk, sit or climb the stairs for several months. It made breastfeeding so much harder because I couldn't move about easily.

I've had to have ongoing physio to try and improve my pelvic floor tone. I have always enjoyed running, it's the only exercise I do enjoy because I feel like it gives you a good whole body workout and gets you outside in the fresh air. I'm not one for gyms, loud music and exercise machines.... My physio said to me today that running is not really the best exercise for me because of the 'pounding' affect it has on the pelvic floor. She said she's obviously not going to tell me I can't do it, but that she thought something like an elliptical trainer would be better.

I feel gutted. I wish I'd just had a bloody c section when it was obvious that DD was stuck and not coming out on her own.

But I was so out of it at that point that when they asked me if I wanted to avoid a section they could use forceps I just said whatever you thinks best you're the obgyn!

I hadn't done much research about birthing options tbh because I was sort of in denial that we'd actually reach the point of giving birth (long story) so also feel angry at myself for not researching it because I've since read several things online and on here where people have said that they would always pass over vontouse/forceps and go straight for c section. But really, it shouldn't be down to the patient to have to advocate for their best interests should it? The HCPs should be doing that anyway.

Aibu to think that the whole push to get c section rates down is actually a negative influence on women's birth experiences and choices?

Just feeling fragile. Please be kind

I'm sorry you had an awful experience OP I really feel strongly that women should be able to choose their method of birth and be able to weigh up the possible risks themselves. I insisted on a c-section for my first with no medical reason just because I know so many people with problems and I was terrified. I'll be having a second one too. I know you can choose what you want now but sometimes you have to push for it..
I was speaking to a few midwives and they both said most midwives they know either chose sections or will choose them, as they know the damage that can happen. I've heard the same about consultants/consultants wives. That says it all!

Hazey no never any pain in my scar and I've run marathons since.

Yes I would (and did) chose stitches (well glue actually) over potential damage downstairs - never regretted that choice (twice!).

Pretty much pain free birth and recovery.

YANBU I had an induction, 4 hours of contractions, then 3 hours of pushing not as bad as 6 holy shit! whilst they ummed and aahhed about giving me a c-section before finally deciding on forceps. I had an episiotomy AND a 2nd degree tear. I could hardly walk I was in so much pain. It made looking after and bonding with DD so difficult because all I could think about was the pain.

I was in two minds about having another baby after DD when I was pregnant, that experience put me right off of having another. If I did have another, I don't think I'd have an elective section. I would definitely have counselling, and try some hypno birthing techniques to counteract my anxiety that I would definitely have re giving birth. And I would stipulate in my birth plan to have a section at the first sign of trouble. I understand that it's not always possible as PP have said, but I would have instrumental delivery as a last resort. And DEFINITELY no induction.

Sorry you had such a crap time

I had 2 c sections. 1st was an emergency and the 2nd was a last minute plan at 4 days overdue. He was very big and everyone was getting worried about my size. I had read about horrific natural births with 3rd and 4th degree tears so I am pleased I had the option to opt for a c section. However to ease your feelings, c sections can also have long term medical issues, especially in an emergency situation. Don't beat yourself up about it. Birth is complex and unpredictable whichever way your baby is born. Sections can also have a long recovery and can have a massive psychological effect too. I had c section guilt. I felt like I had failed at the first hurdle of being a mother and missed out by not having a 'normal' birth. My emergency was also extremely painful as the epidural was not working to its full effect. I think the long and short of it is there is not a good way to have a baby. Men definitely have it easy 😂 X

My Sections were amazing - would totally recommend it.

Very similar story here with my first. I should have had a c-section with him. I pushed unsuccessfully for 5 hours (yes 5) and then had high forceps, 3rd degree tear, pph, blood transfusion and retained products. Funnily enough I can remember the look on the intern's face - he was with me while I pushed unsuccessfully. His wife had had a baby a couple of months before and it was quite clear to me that he was certain I wasn't going to push this baby out and would have sectioned me. Unfortunately no one asked him.

I had 2 sections afterwards which were a complete doddle by comparison.

I feel for you OP.

the awful memories do diminish op. You can't know the outcomes beforehand - I had an epidural as induction went wrong and hyper stimulated my contractions without dilating the cervix with dd1, I was in labour so long that my uterine muscles were knackered leading to a major PPH i found terrifying. It's so hard to make a good decision in the moment too, I'd get on with the elliptical cross-training, get fitter however they advise and focus on feeling better about yourself generally.

Op you could be me! I had a high forceps
With dd and a post party's haemorrhage meaning o didn't heal. I had a repair when dd was 13 months. Was very incontinent as could t do pelvic floor exercises due to pain. Fell pg with ds soon after repair and had ptsd so wanted elective section. Was made
To labour and needed emergency c section. Incontinenece was worse second time round but recovery so much easier, I had a tvt very young (excellent-
Not perfect but can run again) bit will need revision in a few years to tighten tvt (it's not been around long enough to know how long it lasts). I no longer run as I prefer heavy weight lifting but of your hobby is running it's unreasonable to expect that you give that up for another exercise. My consultant saw me holistically and felt I should have my hobby (then) back, could you explore physio and of that fails tvt?

Also, I had counselling to get over the delivery.

JinxMonsoon - the choice element in my section was one of the reasons I felt so shit about it - guilt over having chosen something which, at the time, I thought had caused my baby harm (severe respiratory distress) and which had made me feel so awful and helpless. The sense of panic in the room, fear in dhs face and the look on the anaesthetists' face is something I will never forget.

I know it sounds insane, but I had 2 bad tears (one an episiostomy followed by 3rd degree, and one 2nd degree with some shoddy repair work) and still the section and resultant scarring felt worse (even 6 years on)

Sorry OP. I hope you can reconcile your feelings. This has been very tough for you

Aw I feel the same. Sounds like a similar experience although I only had a year of physio. I'm definitely having a section next time!

Brilliant post showofhands

I was 2 wks overdue and went in for an induction. If only I'd have realised I was more likely to have had lots of intervention thru having an induction I would have chosen to have an epidural "just in case".
As it was I had a rosy view that it would all go swimmingly and I would push baby out no problem. My waters were broken following a pessary, and then as not much happened I was put on a drip which gave me severe contractions almost immediately. At this point I was still determined to do it naturally - there had been no talk or advice at antenatal regarding inductions so I had no idea what to expect really.
My strong contractions caused my DS heart rate to dip alarmingly so I ended up being rushed in to have an EMLCS and as I had not had an epidural I had a GA and so I missed his arrival (still upsets me now).
On my way to theatre the student midwife who'd been with me tried to give me a solution to drink to neutralise what I'd drank - I put it too my lips but it burnt and so I kept pushing it away as it had strong fumes, by mistake instead of giving me Asilone she had poured me a drink of ACETONE (nail varnish remover)!!!
My recovery from the CSection was good though, up and about the next day. I was out and about after a week at home. I was back to aerobics after my 6 wk check up.
I really think anyone who is going to be induced should strongly consider having an epidural.

by mistake instead of giving me Asilone she had poured me a drink of ACETONE (nail varnish remover)!!!

Jeeeeeeesus

My first was an emergency C section and my son was born about 7 pm and I didn't come to until 3 am. I didn't see my son until the morning. My ExH bonded really well with our son, gave him his first feed.. it was all good really. Second pregnancy it was decided I should have a C section incase the wound had not healed enough and I was conscious and was given the baby immediately :) Both occasions went really well. I was so lucky to have my own room at the hospital as I was in for about a week in both cases. However, I wish they had given me a tummy tuck for the second one! :(

Yes haze loads of scar pain, even years after event. I also had leaks, but had no labour whatsoever. Numbness, hypersensitivity, can't bear touching the area. Couldn't push a pram properly for months.

Sorry you had such a bad time but both vaginal births and c sections are hard. I had s c section under General (a proper emergency life saving running into theatre one) my hisband could be there, could move or cough (I had chest infection) without agony). Couldnt get to see my baby in scubu, couldn't drive. Several years later suspect all the adhesion s and intern scaring affected my fertility, have numb bikini line (apart from pins and needles). I really believe the medical profession/ midwives/NCT need to be more realistic about how hard and dangerous labour can be

DS1 was an EMCS after a long labour and two hours of attempting to push out his large, knobbly head in a back to back position. For various reasons, a VBAC was really important to me as part of dealing with my baggage. DS2 was a bit kinder, but it was still an effort to push out his not quite so large, smooth head in back to back. He got into a position where monitoring became harder, so default panic mode was activated and we were whisked off to theatre. They were talking about another CS, but he'd ended up in a position for a bad CS or a bad forceps delivery. He was forceps with 3rd degree tear, and his poor head was rather bruised.

My emotional response is that given he had a perfect apgar, that a bit more patience might have had a better outcome for me. Logically, I know that there's always a gamble, and some outcomes are worse than a trashed fanjo.

Comparing the two recoveries, the CS was painless, and the tear agony. The forceps delivery aggravated my SPD, and my mobility was still significantly impaired 3 months later. At one point I could only get upstairs by crawling. However I had much more strength for holding and carrying DS. After the CS, I didn't have the core strength to carry DS1 on the stairs in the first 3 weeks as I needed both hands on the banister for balance- when DH RTW, I had to choose which floor DS was spending the day on. Although I didn't drive until 8 weeks after the CS, I could cope with short trips out building up after the first 10 days. The pain from the tear, and the effect of the laxitives meant I barely left the house in the first month and I'm normally susceptible to cabin fever.

I have taken up running since DS2 and the tear. I am prone to stress leakage from high impact, but otherwise there's no longer term impact now (he's 3.5). From the CS, I have reduced sensation near the scar, and a crinkly overhang regardless of how much I weigh. The impact of both births has really been six of one, half a dozen of another. I was told that I have a completely open choice for any more births, and I really don't know if I'd go for VBAC or CS if I ever do. A CS is a gamble with more knowns to it. Another go at VBAC would be a much greater range of gamble.

Where birth has been difficult, it is important to acknowledge the impact it's had on you. Dismissing it doesn't help rationalise what occurred. DS1's birth did affect my emotions in the first year, then the second as it was stirred by my next pregnancy. As baby develops and grows older, the importance of their entry to the world should diminish, (much like stresses over feeding methods) as they develop in character and experience.

I hope you can make a full recovery and get back to running. I've found an osteopath really helpful for rebuilding my strength and resolving the SPD.

hazey no problems running here. My emcs recovery was grim but I could run by the time D's was 5 months. OK after my planned cs and hysterectomy too.

Maybe you've got a nasty adhesion that is pulling . my scar sometimes feels tight but feels better when I stretch it doing light clean and press weights . not sure why it helps tbh.

I was induced and found it so horrendous that I'm not having another child as I won't go through that again. It ramped up so quickly it went from painful but bearable to agony, screaming the place down, in too much pain to even be scared in about one minute - and this was hours before I had to start pushing. My ds got taken to SCBU with breathing difficulties while I went to theatre to have a third degree tear stitched and I didn't see him again until the following morning.

Three and a half years later and I still feel panicky if I think about it or if I think about having a second dc. And I know it could have been worse and I know people who have come very close to dying and who have gone on to have more children but I just can't do it. The thought of being induced again terrifies me.

I have spoken to my GP and been told categorically that I would not be allowed choose a cesarean over an induction if it were necessary.

I think they ought to be more open about the extra risks the next baby faces - if the first is born via cs.

Hazyjane, I got back to running 7 weeks after an ELCS (breech baby) and occasionally had an odd feeling in the scar (but never pain). Now (8 more weeks on) everything feels completely normal again.

I definitely don't think the risks of instrumental deliveries are explained anywhere near as much as they should be, and certainly in comparison to how much the risks of C-section are promoted.

OP, I hope you recover soon

OP i could have written your post pretty much word for word.

When i was preg with my second (was 3 yrs before i could even consider doing it again) i thought i'd try "natural" again, i think i felt like i wanted to do it "right". However at 20 weeks I met my consultant and freaked out crying and asked for a section. She referred me for counselling for PTSD and said i could decide about a section later in the pregnancy. Had counselling and decided to go natural. In the end it was scary going in to labour- flashbacks and fear. But thankfully it was a quick and fairly straightforward labour- the midwives were aware of my previous experience. Certainly no additional damage done. I still have issues following that initial birth over 10 yrs ago and wish i'd had a section then to make me have a nicer time with ds1.