not to know if I'm supposed to give DS a cooked tea?

[atticusfinchatemybaby]

DS1 used to have cooked lunch at nursery, followed by tea there at 4pm (mostly bread and butter, dips, cheese, fruit etc). Then he'd come home and eat some more at 5.30 - sometimes virtually a whole cooked meal, sometimes almost nothing. He's just started Reception so now has cooked lunch there (but I have no idea what / how much he's eating) and a snack on way home. Do I cook him dinner? Give him toast? Some days he seems hungry, some days he isn't and I can't predict. What does everyone else do? I can't be arsed cooking yet another meal if it doesn't get eaten but I don't want him to go hungry.

Satsu it is cultural and habit.
If you really wanted to eat in a more balanced way, you should have a lighter meal at the end of the day, not at lunch time.

A cooked meal doesn't mean it has to be a 3 dish course with a big using etc... A cooked meal at school with be a SMALL helping of something warm and a cookie. Hardly a big meal that will stop you from being hungry by dinner time.

I think the trouble is when people think oh he won't need tea because he had dinner at school, they thinking about the type of dinner you would make yourself. But school dinner are probably about a quarter of the size.

I was speaking to one mum I know and her child as just started reception and she couldn't understand why her child was hungry when she had 'eaten half a slice of pizza' Until I pointed out that the pizza her child had was only the size of a coaster not the slice she was thinking.

Having been a midday supervisor I now understand why my children always hungry after school, and snacks and a dinner.

I agree Barbara a cooked meal can be very light. To start with it can be very small portions, doesn't have to include a dessert or only a fruit etc...

And an 'uncooked' meal can be extravagant and a big meal in itself. In most cases though, it will be a light meal which will be nutritionally hard to balance when you start with a sandwich and a packet of crips (the main ingredients in a typical light lunch meal in the UK)

????

I just did what I thought they needed, they are all different aren't they?
Hungry feed, not hungry don't.
Cook tea/dinner as you usually do.
I too am at this post

The school dinner menus can sound very filling e.g. Roast chicken dinner and sponge and custard. I can see why a lighter meal like sandwiches/jacket potato/beans on toast would make sense it's what we do for supper on a Sunday evening after a roast dinner. In reality I suspect the school meals are small and not filling e.g. Not much/any decent meat so not in any way equivalent to a roast at home.

I've found that mine want a proper dinner on everynight apart from Wednesday's, which is roast dinner day. Saying that, last night my 8yr old ate 4 toasties (4 slices of bread), so maybe that verdict is out!

Something like a chicken salad sandwich on wholemeal bread is probably nutritionally balanced? Tuna and bean salad?

Chicken nuggets, chips and baked beans is hot, cooked and not balanced. That is the sort of cooked meal that lots of DCs have several times a week.

You are mistaking me - I think they should be entirely suitable. I have no cultural prejudices, I was accepting there is a cultural element, however I was talking from a personal point of view, and as I said originally everybody's different. The fact is whenever I have tried to have something like a sandwich for an evening meal, I have a headache and feel sick and I will end up having something later on at some point or I can't sleep. I was suggesting maybe it's the protein element, or the calories - I don't know. But for me there is a difference between sausage and mash and a sandwich that isn't in my head. My husband has no problem with a sandwich for dinner, despite being larger than me. I have never been able to eat a lot at breakfast; always more in the evening. Different metabolism?! Who knows.

DD has a family, mostly cooked, dinner each evening around 6.30-7pm.

She has a mix of school dinners and packed lunch, on three days a mini-tea at her childminder and still eats a full size (children size) dinner.

I doubt she would survive just on a bowl of cereals.

My youngest has a cooked school lunch and is always hungry after school. My friend is a ta in a reception class and says a lot of parents think their cooked lunches mean they only have to offer a sandwich tea, she winces a bit! The portions are tiny, the jacket potato is actually half a small potato and a spoonful of cheese, probably not what most people picture when they read the menu.

Where I am from, we eat two (shock horror) cooked meals a day. It is hot and so food doesn't stay for long, so cooking fresh is always better. In my head I and my family (including the DC) eat:

1. Breakfast.
2. A mid morning snack.
3. Lunch. In DC's case that is in school. In my and DH's case at work.
4. A snack
5. Dinner. This is eaten at 5 p.m. DC in bed by 6:30. This is always a cooked hot meal.

If I am hungry, I will make my self something later, or eat some yoghurt. I can't imagine coming back home especially in the winter and not eating a big warm meal before going to bed.
DH used to work in France and everyone stops there for a proper lunch and then has a proper dinner. Usually both meals are hot.

Another one here whose kids have school dinners, but who gives them a proper dinner at home too. Mainly because mine won't eat salad/raw veg and I'd want them to have veg with tea too. Sandwiches with something veg, fruit, dairy would be absolutely fine after a cooked meal (dare I say even without one, if you have fruit, veg, protein, carbs etc in good proportion?). Sometimes do beans on toast too, if you do wholemeal bread it contains all essential amino acids (or some shit my veggie sister told me once), jacket potato with cheese/tuna and veg, pasta with a quick and easy sauce. Don't think there are any rules but I do know that the amount of fruit and veg consumed at school is quite low (they just can't police or persuade quite like home) so I'd want to pack at least two portions into teatime. And if he's anything like mine, you need to fill him up, mine came both out of reception starving, so I'd take snacks to school to survive the walk home and see off the Hangries.

For those saying "just cook family dinner as you normally do", do you normally eat earlier than 8pm?

I've always given cooked dinner at home whether they have had a cooked meal at lunch or not.

Whoops, hit post too soon there. Was intending to say that while DS was in nursery, 8pm was family dinner time - getting home at 7pm doesn't allow for much else if cooking a "full meal" rather than omelette & raw veg, beans on toast, etc.

This isn't terribly compatible with the sleepcycle of a child who is now going to sleep at 7pm (and doesn't want to eat after 6pm) instead of 9pm.

So, "family dinner" isn't an option during the week until he gets older and isn't so tired. Whichever one of us is picking him up can eat dinner with him, but waiting till after 7pm just means he'll fall asleep in it instead of eating it. Still figuring this out as he's still on "settling in" hours.

slightlyglitterbrained yes, we either all eat together at around 6 or dc (age 5 and 2) will eat together at around 5 and I will sit down with a cup of tea at the table with them, and then dh and I will have something together later.

If we are having separate meals I try to plan something that can be reheated though, to avoid double cooking - like bol, casserole, fish pie etc. Or we have something they don't like (curry) and they have pasta again

Have you got a slow cooker slightlyglitter? If we've got a long day for whatever reason then dinner goes in that first thing and we can then dish up at different times and just add rice or whatever.

I eat with the kids between 5.30 and 6, dh eats with us if he's able or his gets saved until he gets in. I can't wait that long before eating point being I cook one dinner, regardless.

What time are they eating "dinner," at school?

My kids eat three meals a day - breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Breakfast at home before school, lunch midday at school, and then dinner in the evening at home after school. They usually also have a snack right after school, a piece of fruit or a yogurt, something like that.

They're home from school by 4, and have lunch at school around noon.

Satsuki We did have a slowcooker, but DH (who does 90% of cooking) refuses to use it as he hates them, and DS won't eat sauces/stews. Very annoying. But the principle of prepping one meal makes sense.

I'm glad DS's bedtime has moved back so far as he'd be a nightmare otherwise, but it's gonna be interesting trying to figure out the new schedule. School hours are a lot more out of sync with our work days than nursery was. It does sound like we need to fit a decent sized meal in there somehow though.

I'm puzzled! I don't care what they had at 12pm, which is essentially a small plate of beige crap, kids will need a dinner. Even if I gave my kids a small dinner, it would still be an actual dinner, not a sandwich.

Of course you should give him something to eat after school. Would you like the go the whole day from say 1pm onwards with only a piece of toast or two?

My y1 child typically has the school lunch/ baked potato, a light snack soon after school and the main family meal. DH just has a sandwich for lunch so needs something substantial.

I prefer a hot lunch and dinner. If I'm at home, my lunch will often be something like beans on toast, if I'm working I'll use the school canteen. I find hot food more satisfying than cold. If there were two identical sandwiches, one cold, one toasted, I would feel more satisfied with the toasted one- I don't know if there's a logical reason for that!

The DCs are night owls. We tend to eat together around 7.30-8. They don't need to be awake until 7.30 am but will often wake naturally from 7.

We rarely do cooked dinners in our house, we don't really like them. Dinner most nights is a selection of breads, fresh veg salads, pasta/quinoa/bean salads, hummus/baba/quacamole, that sort of thing. I think it is nutritionalally far superior to a roast diner or sausage and mash, faster and a lot less hassle.