not to know if I'm supposed to give DS a cooked tea?

[atticusfinchatemybaby]

DS1 used to have cooked lunch at nursery, followed by tea there at 4pm (mostly bread and butter, dips, cheese, fruit etc). Then he'd come home and eat some more at 5.30 - sometimes virtually a whole cooked meal, sometimes almost nothing. He's just started Reception so now has cooked lunch there (but I have no idea what / how much he's eating) and a snack on way home. Do I cook him dinner? Give him toast? Some days he seems hungry, some days he isn't and I can't predict. What does everyone else do? I can't be arsed cooking yet another meal if it doesn't get eaten but I don't want him to go hungry.

[atticusclaw2]

Mine have a cooked meal every day after school. Most days they also have a cooked breakfast and a cooked meal at school. They're skinny and active and seem to have hollow legs.

[Juanbablo]

My dcs are having packed lunches at the moment but even when they have school dinners I do them a Cooked meal. It can be anything from pasta to a roast. I have a younger one at home plus dh and I want a cooked dinner. Dcs tell me that school dinner are small and not very nice though.

[Sancia]

Like Handmaids, I'm not seeing how this is a confusing matter. Cook dinner for your family (if that's just you and your son, then for you both.) Cook whatever meal it is you, your family, is having for dinner.

I mean... it's dinner. You make dinner.

[CoffeeAtLukes]

handsmaid I'm with you. It has never even crossed my mind not to cook for dd in the evening. Even if she has eaten a full meal at lunch still still need fed come 6pm

[a7mints]

Of course he needs tea/dinner!!
I am another one not getting the confusion!

[nennyrainbow]

What do you call a snack after school? It could be a small meal, in which case he might not need something later if he goes to bed early. But if it was a chocolate bar or a biscuit like I would guess a lot of children have, then yes, you would feed him a proper meal, even if a small one, later.

[rightsforwomen]

My two sons will have breakfast, cooked lunch, either a snack after school or at after school club, a cooked dinner in the evening and then something before bed.

I have never been able to relate to that "oh they had a hot lunch so they'll only want a sandwich and yoghurt for dinner" thing.

Sometimes DS2 stays for tea at after school club so he'll have that AND a cooked dinner at home.

They are both very slim and pretty active.

Actually I remember my Mum feeling very embarrassed when someone made her feel like they were insinuating she didn't feed us well enough at home as we always ate everything with hearty appetites when we went to their house.

[Notso]

I've had at least one child at school for twelve years now they pick and mix between packed lunch and school lunch. Not once in that time have I thought about not cooking dinner for them.
Very rarely I've not checked the dinner menu and one of them has had to have curry or pasta twice in a day or just have beans or a sandwich if they didn't fancy it.
I put the food out, they serve themselves and eat as much of as little as they want. It's not hard.

[SatsukiKusakabe]

@ it's dinner...you make dinner.

[Creativemode]

I can sort of understand. I mean if we've gone out for a meal for lunch we wouldn't then have a full meal in the evening.

I don't really count school dinners as the same though, they're so early in the day and tiny from what I can make out.

[DotForShort]

It really depends on his appetite and his stage of growth. If experiencing a growth spurt, he may be ravenous virtually all the time. I certainly wouldn't force a child to eat if he's not hungry (don't think anyone suggested that, just putting it out there). Much better to give him the chance to listen to his own hunger signals and eat when he is hungry, rather than out of habit or boredom.

We have an evening meal every day but it might be something very simple. Also we don't really have snacks between meals.

[LetsJunglyJumpToIt]

I always give a cooked dinner. My ds has just started school and is starving when he gets home.

[BarbaraofSeville]

I have never been able to relate to that "oh they had a hot lunch so they'll only want a sandwich and yoghurt for dinner" thing

I have never been able to relate to a sandwich and a yogurt being less filling/calorific/lighter than a hot meal. You often hear people say 'I wasn't very hungry so I just had a sandwich', which seems to be more or less what the OP is asking.

In what way is it 'less'? A 2 slice bread sandwich and a yogurt is likely to be at least 500 calories, which is about the same as many hot meals, unless very large or very fatty.

She's not asking whether she needs to feed her DS, she's asking whether the meal she gives him should be a hot cooked meal or something like a sandwich or toast.

Is toast cooked, is toast a meal, what if the meal is beige shit and chips, what if the sandwich is wholemeal bread and egg salad? The one thing that is totally irrelevant is whether or not the food is cooked - and then what does cooked mean anyway - eggs need to be cooked.

A sandwich could be a big meal if lots of bread, fillings and crisps etc on the side. A hot cooked meal could be very small - it doesn't have to be big if it's a small portion of cottage pie, roast dinner, whatever.

[miserablesod]

My kids always have a cooked evening meal regardless of what they had for lunch (school dinners or packed lunch). School portions are generally small imo

[beela]

I don't get this either... Just do what you would normally do, and vary the portion size?

[almostenglish]

You don't have to slave for hours in the kitchen but he needs a meal.

This idea of "cooked meal" vs "non cooked meal" is very culturally British. In many other countries, including the one I come from, a meal is always cooked. Having toast/sandwiches instead would be considered odd because it's not properly balanced.

Of course it won't kill children to have sandwiches now and again (mine occasionally do).

Not having a dig at the UK btw, I love it here

[BarbarianMum]

The point about a sandwich is that it is quicker to make rather than less nutritious. Having said which, if I/the kids have had roast dinner and steamed pudding with custard at lunchtime we generally don't need the same again 4 hours later.

Agree with the "cooked meal" vs "non cooked meal" being very culturally British though - I'm not (cultutrally British) which is maybe why I see a sandwich as a perfectly valid meal.

[Mycraneisfixed]

Apple on the way home from school. Cooked meal every evening at 5.
And sometimes a round of toast and a glass of milk before bed at 8.
He's slim and active.

[DotForShort]

Yes, what's wrong with a sandwich? I'm not British either, and I can't get my head around the rigid "rules" that some people seem to live by WRT meals. Don't even get me started on the Sunday roast obsession.

[Creativemode]

Agree with barbarian the cooked meal thing is funny imo.

Sometimes I give my kids egg mayo sandwiches with a bit of salad on the side then a yoghurt. Or a cheese and ham omelette with salad and bread and butter.

I don't class those as cooked meals but it's stupid really, they aren't inferior to say sausage and mash.

[SatsukiKusakabe]

For me, a sandwich is inferior to sausage and mash for a main meal.

I can have it at lunch but have never managed it the other way round. There is possibly a cultural element but maybe it comes from somewhere? I feel queasy if I eat a big cooked lunch and try and have a sandwich at dinner time. I would still need something warm and some protein or I always regret it.

[Creativemode]

I wouldn't give sandwiches very often because I'd like them to eat a variety of food.

Sandwiches can contain protein. Chicken, egg, ham, bacon?

[MammouthTask]

I'm sorry but I can't even where the problem is. It is totally OK to have two cooked meals a day.
The fact one meal isn't 'cooked' doesn't make it less of a meal, lower in calories or whatever. It is likely to make it less nutritionally balanced though.

Just give that child his two cooked meals. You will see if he is eating or not and then adjust accordingly.

FWIW, NY two dcs hardly ate at lunch, they were in too much of a hurry to go out and play. Cooked or not (and it might not be anyway as at our school one option is a sandwich anyway), he is likely not eat a lot at all.
Snack will be just that a small snack of crackers.
Ime, he will be starving buy the time het gets back home.

[Creativemode]

If you have a roast for lunch or went for steak and chips in the pub what would you have for dinner? Another full meal?

[BarbaraofSeville]

I now find all this really puzzling.

A sandwich may have protein - egg, cheese, ham etc? What if the sandwich was a cheese and ham toastie - nutritionally identical to a cold cheese and ham sandwich. Would you see the toastie as a suitable light dinner, Satsuki. It is warm and it has protein.

Why do you say 'big cooked lunch' why would cooked food be bigger than uncooked food? Some sandwiches, especially those in cafes and pubs are rather large and often come with salad and crisps and probably exceed a thousand calories - that is a big meal.

I eat just about all hot, cooked food, because that is my preference - but I don't eat more than if I ate more cold food. I have soup, toasties, eggs on toast, omelettes and salad etc a lot.