not to know if I'm supposed to give DS a cooked tea?

[atticusfinchatemybaby]

DS1 used to have cooked lunch at nursery, followed by tea there at 4pm (mostly bread and butter, dips, cheese, fruit etc). Then he'd come home and eat some more at 5.30 - sometimes virtually a whole cooked meal, sometimes almost nothing. He's just started Reception so now has cooked lunch there (but I have no idea what / how much he's eating) and a snack on way home. Do I cook him dinner? Give him toast? Some days he seems hungry, some days he isn't and I can't predict. What does everyone else do? I can't be arsed cooking yet another meal if it doesn't get eaten but I don't want him to go hungry.

[slightlyglitterbrained]

Luchi & Mrscog* - DS has generally been quite a night owl up till now. Falling asleep in his supper at 6:45 is pretty new - might make timings for food a bit difficult but I'm seeing the bright side

[madmomma]

Proper cooked meal every night. School dinners won't be good quality food/cooking, and they need the nutrition of a square meal. My boy is always starving and easily eats 3 large meals and snacks. He is skinny and super-active. My girl is more of a picker with a smaller appetite but she is far lazier so it's a good job she doesn't eat loads

[LuchiMangsho]

Another one with a 4 year old who has started Reception and falls face first into the pillow at 6:30. Today he told me to stop reading a story so he could sleep. I was 😮😮😮😮. If you had told me this would happen when I was in the middle of the 18m sleep regression I may not have come close to a breakdown.

[Basicbrown]

On a different note I am Mrs cog about the 4yo who needs to go to bed at 6.30. That's the sort of problem I dream of

[Mrscog]

Slow cooker! I forgot I had one, and I am willing to sacrifice some morning time to getting it on. That's a good idea.

Snacks do work for us most days but I would feel better about life if they got 1-2 more 'proper' things in the week. I am hoping once I can push their bedtimes to 7.15 it will give just that bit of wriggle room needed, but my 4 year old flips after about 6.30, especially now he's started reception and he goes from a wonderously lovely child to devil in about 5 mins. I really can't wait for his tiredness to affect him less severely!!

[SatsukiKusakabe]

mrscog it was more aimed towards the comments that were tending to say there was something wrong with wanting a cooked dinner, and regular meals, and that it was somehow unhealthy to do so. I have a lot of sympathy for how hectic and tricky it can be, and if different things work for you then fine.

My kids are in bed at 7.30 so there is a more time to play with there for a start. If we were in at 5.30 I would have something in the slow cooker that needed just rice added, like a casserole, or bolognese, or soup, or just a gammon that needed salad and new potatoes put with it. I would make double if I could then, so I could freeze some for another day. I don't batch cook at weekends either, just make extra on the day. Alternatively, something quick to cook like pasta and a tomato sauce with tuna and tinned vegetables, or pizza, or whatever, sometimes fish fingers, then we would eat at 6 (portion kept for husband if in later) kids in bath at 6.40, then stories etc.

But I need to eat like that, and my kids seem to do ok with it as well, and those timings, if what you are doing is working for all of you then of course carry on!

[MammouthTask]

Gave you look at the '30 mins meals' from Jamilie Oliver?
In 30mins, he is putting together a whole meal (meal/fish with lots of vegs and a dessert). All 'cooked' dishes.
Thats not much longer than it would take to warm a prepared meal in the oven or to go and find a take away.
Now I'm not saying you should do that every night. What I'm saying is that it doesnt take that long to cook a meal.
My dcs have been taking a cooked meal in a flask for lunch everyday. We prepare that in the am as we prepare that having b'fast.
It really really doesn't take long to prepare some pasta and a tomato sauce fur example. Or boil some frozen peas and green beans whilst you fry some chicken/salmon.

As fur eating at different times, again you can prepare the meal for everyone (doesn't take longer) then put stuff in the microwave for your DH when he comes back home, do 2 or 3 family portions of your Friday/weekend dishes instead of one snd then warm up during the week (something we always do. Most stuff will freeze incl stir fry vegs) and then you just have warm things up.

It's harder work when you start but quickly you will find you have a list of easy/quick dishes you can do and it will very easy.

[Basicbrown]

I wasn't suggesting not feeding him anything in the evening! Just not sure if it should be a big meal or a light one.

What does that have to do with whether it is cooked or not?

PMSL at the smug outrage of 'I always give organic full meal from scratch so I know dc has been fed properly.

OP you are overthinking it. Sometimes if you can all eat together it is easier to do one 'proper' dinner for everyone. Sometimes you may have leftovers that can form part of picnic tea. Sometimes one of you will be late hime and sandwiches or beans on toast prevail. Sometimes you bung pizzas in the oven for everyo e if you cba. Live life and chill out.

[Mrscog]

Satsuki 'Some people seem to make something that's really very simple seem like very hard work.'

I think I do this but I have no idea how to break the cycle. What would you do in our situation?

So the situation is - get in at 5.30pm, need to have both children in bed by 6.45pm latest. Sometimes they're hungry sometimes they couldn't care less about food. DH not in until 7pm then goes out to Taekwondo until 8pm 2-3 nights a week so neither of us eat a 'proper dinner' then either. So Mon-THurs we all just have 'snack teas'. Friday night the kids have another snack tea but DH and I have something 'Friday night ish'' last night was homemade chicken satay. Then we eat together at weekeneds. I am very reluctant to give up any of our precious weekend on batch cooking.

How would you resolve this situation?

[Sweetcheeks21]

Two out of three of my children have school dinners. They eat everything they are given at school. I often do three separate meals for them after school (husband and I eat after 8.30pm). Youngest (non-school) usually requests a pasta dinner, middle only ever wants a wrap or toastie, eldest likes sweet potato/beans or fish/chicken rice or stir fry. Not ideal cooking for all 3 but they all have different hunger levels and I'd rather cook/make what they actually want!

[phlebasconsidered]

For all those parents thinking school meals are shit and no-one eats them, please do just pop in and ask to see one. They vary. I teach in Cambridgeshire and happily eat at least 3 meals a week in school with the kids. The fish is fab, I like the roast, and the curries are yummy. The portions are fine for me as a 45 year old and the salad bars are great.

It's down to knowing YOUR kid and YOUR child's needs. I have one child who wraps when she has to tell me she is school dinners because she is unable to eat anything apart from crackers. Phonecalls to parents have revealed they are using school meals as a battleground. We have dealt with it. Some kids will only eat lunchbox food. Others hate it.

My own son will only ever do packed lunch as he is on the spectrum and has the same thing every single day. For 6 years. My daughter hates right bread and lunchboxed yoghurt. She will eat fresh food snack but eats more of the worst school meal than she ever would a packed lunch.

The end result was that I agreed with the kids on a selection of 10 teas/ dinners we would do that were easy. Once I reached equilibrium on their respective lunchtime intake we agreed on jacket spuds, omelettes, quiche, spag bol, chicken wraps, savoury pancakes, chicken fried rice and veg, noodle stir fry and then homemade pizza for Fridays. Big teas for the weekend. Everything else is quick and easy, has to be. Most are "hot" but quiche, wraps are cold. All are easy and quick. I cook the jackets at the weekend if I do a roast and they are then microwaveable.

It's about ease. It's hard enough feeding them all. I go for maximum actual eating plus ease.

[Lambzig]

I do always give The DC a cooked meal after school/nursery, but i do find it a bind to cook two different meals every night. DH doesn't get home until after seven, so a family all together meal is impossible during the week.

DH wouldn't want to eat what the DC eat And DD is super fussy. I feel it takes a lot of effort.

[LuchiMangsho]

I don't need a star for my kids eating Asian food. Nearly 2 billion kids (probably more) eat Asian food for every meal on a regular basis. It's just what you are used to. I'm still struggling to see what you are being rude about.
If you don't want to cook, that's your prerogative. If you like cold food, that's fine. But to ME (again, remember personal taste), a nice hot meal is preferable to a plate of sandwiches. And I would then make the effort to serve the same for DC.

[SatsukiKusakabe]

I am "obsessed" with having a proper dinner (meaning I like to have one...) and I also eat three meals a day. I've never been overweight

My kids have a cooked or partially cooked (yes, that's a hard boiled egg for you) dinner every day and also I enjoy outings with them at weekends. On days I have more time to cook I freeze another portion for another day. It's not the only way I express my love for them, but I do like having them around so feeding them is, I guess, one way of doing that.

Some people seem to make something that's really very simple seem like very hard work. I don't get this determination to find 'issues' with eating conventionally. If anything is unhealthy it's possibly viewing what most people know as dinner as a psychological symbol for something else, rather than just...erm...dinner.

[LuchiMangsho]

I didn't ask for a star. I think the point I was making is entirely cultural (which I have now repeated a million times). In large parts of the world it is unheard of to have cold meals (for lunch or dinner), so it is very much the norm to serve two hot meals. I don't find it particularly difficult to make them as I am indeed a fairly efficient/experienced cook as is DH. That's just how it is. I can't knit/embroider/sew/ride a bike but I can cook. So to me the question of serving a 'cold dinner' seems really strange. As I said, to someone a plate of cold cuts is delicious- to me, that's not a 'proper meal.'
You don't really need to be rude.

[expatinscotland]

That's nice, Luchi, here's your

[clam]

Please do not assume that if your child has school lunches, that they have necessarily eaten them.

For my sins, the "discard" bin for children putting away their plates/cutlery is right outside my classroom door! yuk Every day, I see (mainly) KS1 children tipping away most, if not all, of their lunch. The MSAs are not allowed, obviously, to "force" them to eat, and some interpret that as not even really encouraging them. Those children's parents are presumably thinking they've eaten a full meal at lunch-time.

[daisypond]

When I was a child we would only have one hot meal a day, one "dinner", that is. During the school terms, that meal was eaten at school at lunchtime. When we got home from school, we would eat around about 5pm, but that was in effect a high tea sort of meal - sandwiches, fruit, a slice of cake, etc. It wasn't another "dinner". We ate before my dad came home from work. This was in the primary school years.

[choli]

I think a lot of the Hot Meal thing is down to women feeling that they are showing love by cooking. The food = love thing is probably responsible for some very unhealthy attitudes to eating.

[wineandtoastfortea]

Mine is in yr 2. Has school dinners. Perfectly happy with sandwich, cucumber/carrot, yoghurt and pudding/sweets around 4.30/5pm. Three days per week he's at after school club and happy with tea there (sandwiches/snacks). Wouldn't do another hot dinner.

[LuchiMangsho]

Literally not birth...IYKWIM.

[LuchiMangsho]

It is a different matter if your kid won't eat it. I guess DC have been exposed to Asian food from birth so it is fairly standard for them.

[LuchiMangsho]

Erm. I cook when DC are in bed not during the day. No wish to give up my day time to cooking. I am quite an experienced cook so can make 5/6 Indian dishes, a big pasta sauce, a chilli fajita sauce and a Thai curry in about 2.5-3 hours. Over two days that's about 1.5 hours of cooking per night. Not exactly taxing. And DH does 50% so it takes even less time (he does the pasta sauce, Thai sauce and fajita sauce). Where I come from, sandwiches and omelette for dinner would not, genuinely be considered a meal so culturally I simply cannot serve cold food for dinner. And I have to admit it is more enjoyable to sit down to a nice hearty Thai curry than bits of cold cut- but that's personal taste for you.

[herethereandeverywhere]

Our weekends are spent enjoying time with the kids, not batch cooking.

Wish skinny child would eat any of the suggested bath cook meals.

[Ragwort]

Luchi - that was just an example, clearly a lot of hot food is nutritious but it is just the assumption that you often see on mumsnet, that 'hot' food is necessarily more nutritious and therefore somehow 'better' for you than cold food IYSWIM.