I've just called the police for my neighbour

[MsJamieFraser]

Dh coming home from work and sees our neighbour running out her house with him screaming at her, but because she seen dh, she ran straight back in the house, this was 5 ish, neighbour was sobbing her heart out.

All night we have heard raised voices, and loud banging etc... We know they have kids but didn't hear them, so assumed they where out.. However dh didn't want to call the police as so far we only heard their raised voices and loud bangs, until we heard the kids crying hysterically.

She will know it's us, but it was game over once we heard the kids, we know he has a history of depression, however it's been 5 long hours.

The only difference between 101 and 999 is that on 999 (hopefully)you won't have to wait to get through to a callhandler. Call queues for 101 can be very long - longest i have ever seen was 2hrs. Plus if you call 999 on what we deem a non emergency matter you will be told to call 101.

In my control room we are nearly all mulitskilled so i may end up taking 101 calls for 3 hours, then it gets busy on 999 and i get moved to a 9s position. But if you ring an emergency in on 101 i would deal in exactly the same way as on 999. In fact my last call today (just come off a night shift on 101) was an emergency call that the caller rang in on 101

rightsforwomen if you want any help or advice about what you can do next please feel free to PM me.

I've helped other women get away for EA and Physically abusive relationships,I used to teach and I was involved with SS and a vice chair in Surestart so I've gained a bit of knowledge from those jobs and circumstances and my now DH is in the Police Force and he's had to deal with DV in his job if you need any advice on how to get help from the police and victims support.

I was in an abusive marriage myself,mine became really bad and sexual abuse was involved.I was terrified and felt suicidal and had 2 very young children but there is always away to get out of these relationships.

Well done op, for getting involved.

Well done OP for calling the police -I know how hard it is...anyone who thinks it is easy hasn't been in that situation.
I had a nightmare neighbour who made my life hell.
He and his wife both drank a lot and would have drunken arguments in the street etc, drunk he would also sometimes stand outside in the early hours and scream abuse at our house, swearing at us, damaged our property ...
One evening I heard shouting from next door (and we can't normally hear neighbours). It went on for ages and then sounded like someone was having a physical fight as well - loud bangs - throwing furniture around etc. They were older and had no DCs living with them.
I was absolutely torn - I had sworn I would never stand by and ignore DV but I was their only immediate neighbour.... it had to be me who called the police. His harassment would escalate and I was frightened for my DCs. I'd just got to the point of thinking I really can't ignore this when the door opened and they came out and I realised he was fighting with his (adult) son. I left them to it...(and I was so relieved)

Its only a new initiative for police to inform schools that day. Its not used by all forces yet either. Its common sense, you'd think it would happen already. Just so the school can be a little kinder, a little more understanding and know there could be help needed.
I remember seeing a report on it, and a little boy took his teddy in the day after he witnessed his dad beat his mum up. Normally the teddy would have been taken away, but this time the teacher knew. She knew he needed the comfort and he kept it with him all day.
The school can only offer that support if they know

Rightsforwomen I'm sorry you're stuck in that situation - must be hell. I hope you get him out soon

You did the right thing calling the police OP.

A word of caution though, don't make any assumptions about what happened unless told. It's possible from what you've said that it could have been a mental health crisis. This happened to a friend of mine this summer. Her husband had a big crisis and and she was having no luck calling ambulances and the crisis team. Someone else called the police which did mean they finally got help and she was very grateful. But when he came home after recovering in hospital all the finger pointing and whispering locally about wife beating was helpful to nobody.

Bearing in mind what she's already told you about his mental health I'd keep an open mind.

As a child who lived through DV between my parents you did the right thing calling the police and not intervening yourself. My (nc) dad also went on to attack members of the family who tried to help my mum. No one ever called the police. My mum left and he turned his violence on us (2 kids) until we were able to get away (my mum honestly believed he wouldn't touch us as still bears the guilt today over 15yrs after we all got out)
I remember one time when I was 12 and my dad literally had me on the kitchen floor hitting me over and over. I ended up taking an overdose (not fatal obviously and not a bad one as I was stopped). A neighbor calling the police would have prevented all this (and I know they could hear and see the marks left on my mum)

OP. I hope you're ok this morning. It must be hard knowing what to do. Even if the adults don't appreciate it there are little kiddies that will appreciate it without even knowing they do for you

Well done OP and DH for phoning.

Advice not to intervene is sound. DH got stabbed for intervening by the woman he was trying to defend.