AIBU that she calls herself aunty?

[Brandysnaps76]

My brother in law has a girlfriend of 14 months. She's significantly younger than he is. It's a large family, with many siblings and nieces/nephews. Since the beginning, she's always referred to herself as 'aunty X' with my own children and the other cousins. She calls them her nieces and nephewsI find this to be...I'm not sure what the word is, maybe presumptious? We do consider her part of the family, but I just find it too soon to be committing to 'aunty'. Me and my husband have been together a long long time, married last years and it was only when i became pregnant with our first (4 now) that other members of the family referred to me as aunty. And up till then I referred to them as my partners nieces and nephews whenever they came up in conversation.
AIBU to be miffed by this? She can be overbearing and in your face at the best of times, but maybe its just me to think that they've not been in a relationship long enough yet to commit to these roles?

[Trifleorbust]

My sister does this with her boyfriend's nieces and nephews and I think it's weird tbh. If you're not actually related to someone, the honorary title should be bestowed by the family; you don't give it to yourself.

[phillipp]

This usethe oddest thread.

What does ' at 21 I didn't feel old enough to have the title' mean?

You don't have to be any age to be called aunt.

The issue is clearly they didn't call you auntie until you had kids and she has done it before your did.

If she is treated like family (really treated like family) it's not an issue. Her age, maturity, wether she grates or not has nothing to do with it.

Wether they are married or not, have kids or not. An auntie by marriage could always disappear and be replaced.

My sil got divorced when her Dd and my Dd were 3/4. She is now remarried. It wasn't difficult to explain and to be quite honest my Dd wasn't that fussed. Sils new husband is now 'uncle'.

I really don't get this or why it bothering you so much.

[AdaLovelacesCat]

all of our neighbours for about ten houses along were our Aunties and Uncles when were were growing up. Not sure what the big deal is. My friend has a friend who refers to her as 'Auntie' because the younger one used to be the foster daughter of the older ones SIL. There is about ten years between them. I think it is nice, esp for their children.

[CatNip2]

Non issue for me, I also grew up in the north and unrelated adults who you were reasonably close to, ie good friends of parents, we're all called Auntie, it was far more respectably to say "Auntie Rita could I have a drink please" rather than "Rita can I have a drink please" when you are 7! And "Mrs Brown, could I have a drink please" would have sounded ridiculous.

My friends' children called me Auntie until they reached late teens then the Auntie bit just dropped off naturally.

We were never the nieces or nephews or our Aunties and Uncles though, unless we really were!

[heron98]

I think YABU.

What is wrong with her being referrred to as as Auntie? It's not hurting anyone. I think it's nice.

My sister and I have a very close friend. She is always Auntie X to our children.

[RiceCrispieTreats]

I let the parents choose how their children refer to me. I wouldn't presume to give myself a title, though.

I am "Aunt X" to a lot of children I'm not related to by blood ties, because that's how their parents have dubbed me (and I'm always secretly pleased when that happens, as it does signal closeness imo).

[Ameliablue]

It may be normal to have some issues with people you are close to but your comments on here are all very negative towards her beyond just having issues.
I would never talk about someone I'm close to on a public forum, the way you have.

[Starryeyed16]

My DB has numerous GFs over the years and I had to have a quiet word that I didn't like them being referred as aunties. I think a name such as auntie or uncle should be given depending on the length someone has been together and if they live together otherwise it's massively confusing for kids

[londonrach]

Its just a name, she things alot of the children. If you lived up north half the town is aunt and uncle. You dont sound like you want her in the family. Id let this one go and worry about other things. Yabu

[SpookyPotato]

This is one of the oddest threads I've read on here. I can't believe someone would have an issue with this.. My partner and I weren't together long before I became aunty and it felt so welcoming. It's lovely for kids to have another family member who cares about them. I think you are the one coming across as odd and coldhearted. She sounds really enthusiastic about your family! This really shouldn't matter..

[RunningLulu]

Where I was brought up (Midlands) every adult you saw regularly (and who wasn't immediate family ie mum/dad/gran/grandad) was automatically aunt or uncle. It didn't matter how old they were or who started off referring to them as such. Tbh I don't think it's a big deal.

[MyWineTime]

Why ? Because you say so? I am not related to his nieces and nephew. I married him- there is no reason why that means I take on his entire blood relations as well.
No, because that is the definition of niece/nephew/aunt/uncle

niece
a daughter of one's brother or sister, or of one's brother-in-law or sister-in-law.

aunt
the sister of one's father or mother or the wife of one's uncle.
informal
an unrelated adult female friend, especially of a child.

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

Brandy, you say that you are close to this young lady, who has dared to deem herself "Aunt".
I think that you should be sitting down and having a chat with her, otherwise you risk splitting a gut.