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AIBU?

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Original poster

Engagement Ring Missing

122 replies

facepalming · 16/09/2016 00:30

So we have been having our boiler replaced, 2 day job first day today.

3 guys working in the house for a fairly big well reviewed company. All seem pretty pleasant and chatty.

DH has been at work so just been me and my two dc (toddler and baby) so set them up with tea and coffee making facilities and declared that we would stay out of the way in the living room.

I stupidly kept the door shut and left them too it. I only be ventured out for a walk to the shop and to make lunch.

as I went to bed today my jewellery box caught my eye on the windowsill in our room and something made me check. My engagement ring is gone. I know for sure it was there on Sunday and I can't think of any other possibility than that one of these guys took it.

I feel totally sick.

They are back tomorrow - aibu to confront them or should I report it straight away?

OP posts:
milkyface · 20/09/2016 13:16

I'm confused. He worked for a charity so you think that's a good reason for him not to be allowed in your home?

If he did steal the ring obviously I can understand why you don't want him in your home but I'm just confused why his last employment has got anything to do with it?

milkyface · 20/09/2016 13:17

Oh actually do you mean he worked for the company training young offenders, or he was a young offender who was being trained?

It doesn't necessarily mean he is / was a thief or did any violent crimes though just because he got into trouble when he was younger

milkyface · 20/09/2016 13:24

Sorry another post - I should have said I really really hope you find your ring / it gets returned Sad

Julius02 · 20/09/2016 13:32

A similar thing happened to me. My engagement ring went missing and the only person who had been in the house was the cleaner. We turned the house upside down looking for it and I was distraught and on the point of asking her about it - and feeling sick at the prospect - when I suddenly saw something glinting in the washing machine. It was caught up in the rubber seal. To this day I'm absolutely baffled as to how it got there. Is there no way you could have misplaced it somewhere?

I really hope you get it back.

Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 13:37

milkyface I mean he was an ex offender being trained. I don't think that means he shouldn't be employed, nor does it mean he is a theif but he was sent into my home .. I don't feel good about that without without knowing the facts. Especially as I have two small children here.

The fact that the owner and the senior guy that came here both jumped to point to the finger at him rather than assume I was mistaken says a lot too imo

OP posts:
Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 13:39

I should add milkyface that charity was his last placement..earlier this year before he moved on a couple months ago to the company I employed.

OP posts:
Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 13:40

I'm certain Julius it was in that box. I have ripped the house apart just to avoid any glint of doubt I might have had (which really was no more than wishful thinking).

OP posts:
Therealloislane · 20/09/2016 13:57

I think the company has behaved terribly.

I can't imagine pointing a fibeer of blame at a colleague, no matter whether I thought they'd stolen something or not.

As a manager I'd have expected him to tell you to call the police rather than hand over someone's personal details.Hmm

None of it adds up really.

I hope the police get somewhere op & you get your engagement ring back.

Therealloislane · 20/09/2016 13:58

Finger

SerenDippitee · 20/09/2016 14:00

facepalming be very careful here. You only have the company owner's version of his 'interrogations'. Who better to pin the blame on than an ex-offender? Occum's razor and all that, and maybe he did nick the ring - but maybe he didn't.

milkyface · 20/09/2016 14:02

I can see why you feel like that. But I suppose a lot of people have pasts we don't know about. I don't feel comfortable with people I don't know in my home so I really do understand.

It seems odd for them to think it was him, unless they know the offences he previously committed and they involved theft, but if they have so little confidence in him why on earth are they employing him!?

I hope the police get it sorted and you get your ring back

Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 14:27

I just think there is something missing here. Either they have more reason to think it was this guy than they are letting on, they think they are to blame for sending an ex offender to my home, or they know / suspect it was one of the others and think this guy is a scapegoat.

I was thinking the owner was really helpful until I saw the history of this guy.

It's all with the police now anyway. All I wanted was to give the best opportunity for it to find its way back.

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 20/09/2016 14:46

Give a dog a bad name.... or, old habits die hard. OP, I am sorry you haven't got your ring back.

amusedbush · 20/09/2016 15:00

This is awful, I really hope you get it back one way or another.

AprilSkies44 · 20/09/2016 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperFlyHigh · 20/09/2016 16:31

I'd be really careful here with access to his details and accusations - if he is an ex-offender and has been found to re-offend depending on how long ago his last offence was he could wind up back in jail - depending if he's on probation etc.

I used to work temping in probation offices around London but this was years ago... and the rules are probably outdated by now!

Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 17:01

I've passed everything over to police exactly as it happened. I explained the owner gave me this guys information and that they have indicated him but that I have no idea who it was as I was in the living with the children whilst they got on.

I know i should have let the police know straight away but I thought I had more chance of getting back if I gave some opportunity first.

Then the owner seemed so helpful and so we held off until he could speak to his guys yesterday...

OP posts:
witsender · 20/09/2016 17:04

I think it is awful they behaved like that tbh!

Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 20:33

would I be nuts to write to both this guy whose details they've given and the other two ( through the firm) and plead for it's return or offer payment? I'm so desperate to get it back. do you thibk that's worth a try or do I just leave it now with the police?

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 20/09/2016 22:09

No don't do that you'll interfere with the police investigation and certainly don't offer him payment!

AprilSkies44 · 20/09/2016 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JellyBelli · 20/09/2016 22:26

I'd report the owner of the business for a potential breach of data protection. Thats disgusting.

usual · 20/09/2016 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exWifebeginsat40 · 20/09/2016 23:09

sorry, I'm confused about how you looked this guy up and found out who his previous employer was? how did that work?

HappenedForAReisling · 21/09/2016 01:21

The company owner sounds shifty, too. It seems like he wants to get shot of this guy.