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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Engagement Ring Missing

122 replies

facepalming · 16/09/2016 00:30

So we have been having our boiler replaced, 2 day job first day today.

3 guys working in the house for a fairly big well reviewed company. All seem pretty pleasant and chatty.

DH has been at work so just been me and my two dc (toddler and baby) so set them up with tea and coffee making facilities and declared that we would stay out of the way in the living room.

I stupidly kept the door shut and left them too it. I only be ventured out for a walk to the shop and to make lunch.

as I went to bed today my jewellery box caught my eye on the windowsill in our room and something made me check. My engagement ring is gone. I know for sure it was there on Sunday and I can't think of any other possibility than that one of these guys took it.

I feel totally sick.

They are back tomorrow - aibu to confront them or should I report it straight away?

OP posts:
whatishistory · 16/09/2016 11:08

Angry the first sentence should have said 'to not care'.

Goingtobeawesome · 16/09/2016 11:35

I really hope you get it back but you have to call the police if you are totally sure your toddler couldn't have taken it and not said.

What has your DH said?

Oblomov16 · 16/09/2016 11:41

I fear your only chance, if they have actually stolen it, is if they play dumb and say, oh yes, look, it must have fallen out and we swept it up with out tools, when we were banging around with the radiator the other day.
Oh yes, Bob did mention it and we thought it was odd.

How else are they going to give it back?

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 16/09/2016 11:49

My parent's neighbour had questionable labourers in to do some bits to the exterior, our pet tortoise went missing. My dad went over with best scary voice and said police will be called if she isn't back by 5pm. Low and behold she was in the middle of the garden at 4.45, a miracle Halo hope it finds is way back op

TwoWeeksInCyprus · 16/09/2016 11:53

A similar thing happened to me OP, it was horrible.
We told the kitchen workmen the engagement ring and DH's camera had gone.
They all looked suitably shocked and said maybe it was the delivery men who had brought the kitchen units (who were also employed by the same firm) or a random passer by who came in, as they often left the door open when going back and forth to the van.
To this day I don't know who stole the items.
I reported it to the police the same day and gave them all the names and phone numbers. Presumably they got phone calls from the police, but who knows.
Our household insurance paid out, most of the amount but we had an upper limit on any one item.
Good luck sorting it out 💐

ArmyInRed · 16/09/2016 11:58

What a horrible situation for you to be in. I hope you get it back one way or another.

SoupDragon · 16/09/2016 11:59

You've handled it perfectly so far.

I don't know what to suggest if it doesn't magically turn up in the van or something though. Are you 100% sure you put it back in the box after the last time you wore it? What was it that made the jewellery box catch your eye yesterday?

Shezza71 · 16/09/2016 12:15

Could you approach them and ask if they had seen your ring while they were upstairs, maybe ask them to check their van/tools as toddler may have dropped it on the floor or moved it let them know it has great sentimental value and offer a reward to anyone who finds it!

WaitrosePigeon · 16/09/2016 12:22

This makes me feel sick. I never take mine off. This has just reminded me why.

Any news today?

DollyBarton · 16/09/2016 12:23

Don't be suggesting the toddler dropped it or it 'seems' to be gone. It makes it sound like you could have lost it yourself or the toddler might have got it giving them an out both with their company and the police if they get involved.

FrogTime · 16/09/2016 12:30

I hope you get it back OP, If I could have got mine off my finger I would have kept it in a box for the same reasons.
Got my fingers crossed for you Flowers

Sleepybeanbump · 16/09/2016 12:33

I agree that playing dumb and saying it seems to have gone missing, can you keep an eye is risky as if you then later decide to go to police and say you are certain that these people must have taken it, they will (quite reasonably) argue that you originally behaved as it you thought you'd misplaced it.

Horrible situation. Flowers

Trufflethewuffle · 16/09/2016 13:16

If you seriously think any of the workmen are involved then call the police.

Before they can take the opportunity to wipe fingerprints off your jewellery box.

Original poster
facepalming · 16/09/2016 13:53

So the guy heading the team here has been as helpful as I could expect. I've told him it's only important to me to get the ring back. He has notified the firm as well as asking the guys he worked with yesterday directly.

I asked him if it's happened before and of course he said no. I asked him if he has worked with those guys long he said one he has the other is new. I asked if the new guy was ever alone upstairs and he said he would have been once or twice.

it's an awkward situation for sure. I'm going you call the owner of the company shortly and discuss it. I don't suppose there is an easy out anymore for the one that did it. His best bet would be denial at this point so I don't like my chances of getting the ring back

OP posts:
TheMaddHugger · 16/09/2016 14:12

I hope you get it back, even if they 'fake' find it in your house somehow.

(((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))) :(

Champagneformyrealfriends · 16/09/2016 14:20

Oh god how awful-I really hope you get it back op.

AprilSkies44 · 16/09/2016 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WowOoo · 16/09/2016 14:28

Are you absolutely sure that you haven't misplaced it?

I'm asking because I panicked when we had builders in and my watch went missing. I didn't know what to say/ask and was decidedly off with them for a couple of days. But, I had put my watch somewhere stupid, out of the way and completely forgotten. My dh spotted it which is even odder!
I thought I always leave it in the same place. Seems I do this 99% of the time but not always.

Really hope you get it back.

DietCockBreak · 16/09/2016 14:48

Have you reported it to the police? The sooner the better to try to get it back.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 16/09/2016 15:05

How upsetting. I would be gutted too.
I would check EBay and local (or the area they came from) market traders for a while.
As to whether someone would use it rather than sell it, if they have the brass neck to pinch it I can see it being wrapped up if they've got a gf or wife with a birthday coming up.

Looking back we have probably been lucky the number of times we've had workmen round not to have had any light-fingered individuals.

Years' ago a friend noticed a small sterling silver trinket box was missing after the estate agent had encouraged her to hold an open day. Sentimental value too but luckily nothing in it but worth something and small enough to slip into a handbag or pocket. Sad Of course with hindsight she should've stashed it away . There was no way of telling when it had gone and about 20 people had trundled round.

Original poster
facepalming · 16/09/2016 16:54

I'm certain it's not just misplaced. I just can't believe it.

I'm heartbroken. DH says it's just a ring, it can be replaced and of course I know there are more precious things in life but this meant the world to me and it makes me sick someone would just take it without a second thought.

I spoke with the owner of the company. I fully expected some company line but i left the conversation feeling that he really does want to get the ring back for me. He said he spoke with the guy who was here both days and while they are surprised they have a feeling who it would he most likely to be. both also commented sperately about This guy taking a bit too long to shut off the taps - which would be the same time I heard him (not that I told them that). Anyway the owner is going to call them in tomorrow and he is going to try anything he can to persuade them to get the ring to find its way back to me..

I'm sorry to those who think I'm being selfish but my number one goal is to get thr ring back and I think this gives me a better chance than the police so I will let him try first. He didn't ask me not to call the police it's my choice for today.

I am just so sad about it. We have lots more work to do in the house and it's made me feel very different about it all now

OP posts:
Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 09:34

So the owner of the company has just called me. He had all 3 guys in but was sure it couldn't have been 2 of them. He tried all he could think of to give them a way to hand it back without losing face.

no luck. He said the guy he thinks it is denied any involvement a bit too aggressively.

I will report to the police now but I don't suppose I'll ever get it back.

The company had given me his name, number and address for the police

OP posts:
Idratherbeaunicorn · 20/09/2016 09:57

What a horrid situation, but I'm glad the company are being helpful, OP. I really hope you get your ring back :)

RunningLulu · 20/09/2016 10:13

Make an official complaint to the company, file a police report, and report them to trading standards. It was clearly stolen

user1470043860 · 20/09/2016 10:17

I must say, the owner of the business has impressed me, well done him.

Hope you get it back.