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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Engagement Ring Missing

122 replies

facepalming · 16/09/2016 00:30

So we have been having our boiler replaced, 2 day job first day today.

3 guys working in the house for a fairly big well reviewed company. All seem pretty pleasant and chatty.

DH has been at work so just been me and my two dc (toddler and baby) so set them up with tea and coffee making facilities and declared that we would stay out of the way in the living room.

I stupidly kept the door shut and left them too it. I only be ventured out for a walk to the shop and to make lunch.

as I went to bed today my jewellery box caught my eye on the windowsill in our room and something made me check. My engagement ring is gone. I know for sure it was there on Sunday and I can't think of any other possibility than that one of these guys took it.

I feel totally sick.

They are back tomorrow - aibu to confront them or should I report it straight away?

OP posts:
SerenDippitee · 20/09/2016 10:45

Glad to hear that the owner is being helpful. Is the suspect the one who is new to the company? Is he still on probation? I wonder if the ring would reappear if he thought that his job was on the line.

Hope that the police are helpful.

TrippyMcTrapFace · 20/09/2016 10:55

The owner is not handling this well actually.
He should insist that the police are involved and rather than playing Poirot himself, any questioning should be done by the police. He shouldn't be giving the personal details of his employees/contractors/subcontractors to customers either.
OP, make an official written complaint to the company and contact the police.

Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 10:56

Yes he is the one who is new. The company owner tried a few tactics and in the end told him if it turns up he will keep his job if it doesn't then he's done. But as the owner said if he has any sense he will realise that he is out of a job any which way as he can't send him into people's homes now.

He has been great and genuinely seems mortified about the whole thing. But that said for all I know he is sat at his desk with a stash of stolen stuff and they have just picked a scapegoat.

I don't believe that is the case but I don't suppose I'll ever really know.

I am so so mad at myself for leaving something so precious in such easy reach.

OP posts:
JellyBelli · 20/09/2016 11:00

Sorry but I think you need to get the police involved now. If you dont, you cant claim on the insurance. Plus I dont think the owner is handling it well.

Scarydinosaurs · 20/09/2016 11:16

I'm glad you've called the police- hopefully they'll dust the box for fingerprints and fingerprint him too?

Scarydinosaurs · 20/09/2016 11:17

Maybe the owner could ask him to be fingerprinted as he is being helpful??

SuperFlyHigh · 20/09/2016 11:30

I'm not being funny but can't believe your first thought on this ring going missing is the workmen have stolen this?!

There is no proof it was any of them and if anything was that valuable it should've been locked away.

Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 11:34

Superfly no you are not being funny.

Explain to me where it is then If it was in my jewellery box in the morning and not there in the afternoon. My children were downstairs with me the whole time.

OP posts:
TheLastHeatwave · 20/09/2016 11:44

If you haven't reported it to the police yet, ring the company owner back up & ask him to tell 'new guy' that he has until X time to return it or you will call the police back, fingerprints will be taken, and they'll be around to see him. I'd also ask him to tell the ther guys thus us what's happening & that the police might want to fingerprint them too (just in case it's one of them that needs a bit of a push to return it). Yes it's a little unfair with no actual proof, but given all the things you do all know, chances are it's him.

I really hope you get it back. It's sentimental, you can replace the ring but not that feeling. TRY not to blame yourself, you should be able to leave it sitting anywhere you like, let alone in a jewellery box in your bedroom, without it being stolen!

Nice bit of victim blaming there Superfly. How about it SHOULDN'T have been STOLEN! Hmm

SuperFlyHigh · 20/09/2016 11:54

I am just a bit shocked that the first person you'd blame is the workmen!

Not you misplacing it etc...

SuperFlyHigh · 20/09/2016 11:55

But police are your point of call here.

I hope it doesn't 'turn up' elsewhere in the house though.

TheFallenMadonna · 20/09/2016 11:58

Last time I remember a thread like this I think it was in the poster's underwear drawer. Hope it turns up.

Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 12:03

superfly I knew where it was, and I knew who had been here when I discovered it was missing

don't you think I've torn the house apart 'just in case' even though I know i couldn't have lost it anywhere else or any other time??

even the owner of the company that sent the work man believes it his guy who is the culprit!

I wish I had just misplaced it.

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 20/09/2016 12:04

OP - well sadly there's not much you can do I think unless the police are involved.

even then if he won't admit it then what?

Jellybean83 · 20/09/2016 12:05

It's madness you are being told it should've been 'locked away' basically implying it's your own fault the ring was stole. The engagement ring was in your bedroom in your own home in a jewellery box, that should be a safe enough place. It's not your fault if someone has intentionally went into your room and stole from you. I really hope you get it back op.

SuperFlyHigh · 20/09/2016 12:05

best outcome you can get here apart from police is the man will be sacked on suspicion of theft but if he won't hand back the ring or say where it is sadly you'll have to do an insurance claim.

PS - sorry this has happened it's not nice.

SuperFlyHigh · 20/09/2016 12:07

Jellybean - if I have workmen (and I have them now converting my attic, I am out at work no-one home) in then either I lock certain doors or try to ensure if I don't trust them that someone is with them (my flatmate/lodger can sometimes work from home etc).

I would not be happy with people I didn't trust doing work for me - not that they do this much. And I go on word of mouth recommendations.

mrsvilliers · 20/09/2016 12:12

OP is the workman back today? I think you need to tell the owner that if it doesn't 'turn up' today you'll have to phone the police. This happened to me once in a hotel room back in the day when iPods were expensive items. After I made a fuss it miraculously appeared shoved upside down in my packed suitcase. Hoping this happens to you.

LagunaBubbles · 20/09/2016 12:12

Have you phoned the Police yet?

Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 12:49

Yes it's all been reported now to the police. They have said they will look at the options for finger printing the box but ideally it would be a smooth hard surface for the best luck and it is ridged wood.

OP posts:
Rachel0Greep · 20/09/2016 12:52

So sorry this happened, no wonder you are upset Flowers.
Hope that you get it back.

Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 13:00

Thank you. I can't believe it's happened. I would pay 3 times what it's worth to get it back. Just seems so nuts for someone to take it So much hassle for such little return.

I keep thinking on it and i do think it seems bit surprising that the company have been so keen to point to this one guy. they must have had their suspicions about him already I would think right?

OP posts:
TheMaddHugger · 20/09/2016 13:04

bugger , I had hoped this update was to say it had been returned

Big ((((Hugs))))

LurkingHusband · 20/09/2016 13:13

Yes it's all been reported now to the police. They have said they will look at the options for finger printing the box but ideally it would be a smooth hard surface for the best luck and it is ridged wood.

DNA analysis from sweat ?

I may have been watching too much CSI Hmm

Original poster
facepalming · 20/09/2016 13:14

I just looked up the guy they accused (I won't do more than that - it's with thr police and the owner really shouldn't have passed his details in the first place ) and his past employer was a charity that helps train young ex offenders...

I'm not at all against giving opportunity and I actually think it's admirable of thr owner to give employment to such a person but to send him to my home when I'm alone with 2 small children...? and to leave him alone in an area of my house when his colleagues weren't there to witness his activities??

OP posts:
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