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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding

32 replies

KitchenNightmare99 · 10/09/2016 18:51

DH got a wedding invite to a guy from works whole day wedding...I got an evening which I was fine with. We only invited his work ones to our wedding no partners except one married couple who I met and knew the wife the other partners id never met.

Fast fwd 3 years and I have now met them
A few times. DH assumed that it was only work colleagues invited to the whole day but we found out today all te couples are invited to the whole day except us and one other GF who is has been with BF 6 months so a newish relationship. I now feel very uncomfortable going to the evening reception as I feel like I'm not really wanted. WIBU not to go DH is a bit annoyed and has said he might not go either but I've told him he should.

OP posts:
PotatoBread · 10/09/2016 18:58

Yes it's there wedding and they can invite who they want but I'd be a bit pissed off if that happened to me! Think if I were your DH I'd just go to the evening do with you rather than full day

PotatoBread · 10/09/2016 18:59

** their wedding

Sparklesilverglitter · 10/09/2016 19:03

Maybe they know the other partners better than they know you?

It's there wedding they should be able to invite who they want without people being annoyed X was invited but not Y.

Either go and enjoy yourself or don't go, it's up to you

WeAllHaveWings · 10/09/2016 19:03

So you are assuming you haven't been invited to the whole day because you didn't invite his dwtb to yours?

May that is the case maybe it isn't you don't know, its their wedding their choice and either way they are not unreasonable. Maybe they were short a place at a table setting and thought you wouldn't mind because you did the same at your wedding, could be a multitude of reasons. Accept or decline, wish the couple all the best, but YWBU to get annoyed about it.

allsfairinlove · 10/09/2016 19:04

Yes, I agree this is a bit rude considering you actually do know them.

However, personally, I'd have invited partners to my wedding or not at all because of the bad feeling it can bring up. But that's just me, not saying you were wrong to exclude partners at your wedding.

Eatthecake · 10/09/2016 19:04

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest

Maybe they do just know other people better than you and only had so many spaces

Go and have fun or decline in a polite way and think of it no more

Original poster
KitchenNightmare99 · 10/09/2016 19:05

I know DH will go to the whole day he's only saying he mightn't to make me feel a bit better. I was actually looking forward to the evening and was fine initially with the invite it makes sense as they are a big team and I understand how expensive weddings are but this has just made me feel a bit like crap now

OP posts:
MakeMyWineADouble · 10/09/2016 19:06

But the invites went out before they knew you if understand correctly? I guess they had to make choices at the time 3 years does seam a little over organised I would guess they are having a lot of issues like this. I wouldn't take it personally weddings are difficult

Pinkheart5915 · 10/09/2016 19:06

I think your over thinking it, they don't want you there, you feel rubbish etc.

Either go and enjoy yourself or decline polielty and wish them all the best

Original poster
KitchenNightmare99 · 10/09/2016 19:07

No no engagement and invited happened after our wedding. 3 years is how long since our wedding sorry for confusion.

OP posts:
MakeMyWineADouble · 10/09/2016 19:09

Oh I see sorry do they socialise more with the others invited?

Cacofonix · 10/09/2016 19:10

I think it's a bit rubbish actually. Who invites people without their partners? (Unless they have literally just started dating but we allowed for plus 1 for the few people we know like this). You should have invited their partners to yours and work colleague should invite you with your husband for the whole day. Anyway you have to suck it up and go for the evening and DH all day. If it were my DH he would accept evening only and we'd come together for that part only.

Original poster
KitchenNightmare99 · 10/09/2016 19:10

No they don't which is why I'm a little
Confused as why I was the only one left out.

OP posts:
allsfairinlove · 10/09/2016 19:13

Agree with Caco

Original poster
KitchenNightmare99 · 10/09/2016 19:14

I think I actually feel for my DH as he looks at these people as good mates and I would be embarassed if this was the other way around

OP posts:
EllaHen · 10/09/2016 19:19

YANBU to feel the way you do. I wouldn't mind being invited to the evening only of one of dh's colleague's weddings. However, that is because I don't see them as friends. You did/do? It hurts to realise that they don't see you in the same way.

I wouldn't go. And I'd get over it in time.

Original poster
KitchenNightmare99 · 10/09/2016 19:21

No I don't see them as friends as all only DHs wrk mates. I was fine with the evening invite I actually think it makes sense considering his team siZe. It was when I found out couples were invited to all day just not us as a couple

OP posts:
onecrazycook · 10/09/2016 19:21

I think it's terribly rude to invite one without the other regardless of whether you know them. Weddings are about couples and families. I find it very strange to only invite you to one half of the day. I know my hub wouldn't go without me full stop

allsfairinlove · 10/09/2016 19:22

I think especially as you are married it is strange that you weren't invited as a couple. It seems quite divisive.

Personally I'd go with DH together for the evening bit or not at all.

Original poster
KitchenNightmare99 · 10/09/2016 19:23

Hit send too soon

That I felt a little embarassed to go to evening as the only partner not wanted at the all day. I know we did it at our wedding but we didn't leave just one couple out IYSWIM

OP posts:
allsfairinlove · 10/09/2016 19:25

But you did invite one couple which could have been interpreted by the partners who weren't invited as being "not wanted"

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 10/09/2016 19:26

Personally I would just send dh. If you think you would feel at all uncomfortable I would stay at home and enjoy the house to yourself.

Original poster
KitchenNightmare99 · 10/09/2016 19:26

True I just thought as they were the only married couple it would be rude to invite a one without the other and as he works in a team of 20 to invite al partners was financially impossible

OP posts:
FoxesSitOnBoxes · 10/09/2016 19:30

Although it is their wedding so they can invite who they want to etc.... I think this is really quite rude. Fuck them. I wouldn't go to the evening do for all the reasons you've said.

Sara107 · 10/09/2016 19:41

I find it very odd actually inviting one person out of a couple to a wedding -day or evening part. I've never come across this in RL. Of course everyone can choose who comes to their wedding, but I still think it odd and rude to invite half a couple. Both or neither!