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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is rude?

87 replies

whatmoredoyouwantfromme · 10/09/2016 12:17

Going on a date later, I messaged earlier this week suggesting a time and asking about place. He suggested a general area of the city we live in and I agreed. He still hasn't messaged to confirm a location though... Supposed to be meeting at 7... When is too late?!

OP posts:
Crispbutty · 10/09/2016 12:22

Ring him??

Original poster
whatmoredoyouwantfromme · 10/09/2016 12:24

Thanks but don't think that's appropriate as we don't know each well yet. The ball is definitely in his court I feel :s

OP posts:
MrsExpo · 10/09/2016 12:24

Either ring him, or message/text him to say something like "Let's meet at 7 at " ... Why is that so hard?

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge · 10/09/2016 12:27

You are over thinking it.

Just send a text with a location and confirm the time.

Skittlesss · 10/09/2016 12:28

It's still 6 and a half hours away so not really too late at all... unless the area he suggested is in Scotland and you live in the middle of England?

arethereanyleftatall · 10/09/2016 12:29

Why is it him who has to confirm location? Maybe he's thinking exactly the same as you are.,

OrangeSquashTallGlass · 10/09/2016 12:29

Why can't you just suggest the location?

CodyKing · 10/09/2016 12:33

No - if leave it up to him - you did your bit - start as you mean to go on - otherwise it's you doing all the arranging and him just rocking up - if much prefer a proactive date than one who can't be areas to think about it -

ImperialBlether · 10/09/2016 12:36

Do people go on dates with people they haven't spoken to on the phone? I thought someone's voice was partly what made them attractive. Imagine turning up and he's got a really high pitched voice, or a smug voice or keeps clearing his throat.

Original poster
whatmoredoyouwantfromme · 10/09/2016 12:40

I have met him before, a long while ago (long story) but I do feel the ball is in his court.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatmoredoyouwantfromme · 10/09/2016 12:40

Just wondering what to do if he doesn't message etc?

OP posts:
PamBagnallsGotACollage · 10/09/2016 12:41

Suggest somewhere yourself. If you have a second date and so on, and he continues to be indecisive and that annoys you then discontinue the relationship.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 10/09/2016 12:41

Why do you feel the ball is in his court?

wowfudge · 10/09/2016 12:42

Don't go. If he won't make a firm arrangement that doesn't sound good.

OhMyWord16 · 10/09/2016 12:42

No - if leave it up to him - you did your bit - start as you mean to go on - otherwise it's you doing all the arranging and him just rocking up - if much prefer a proactive date than one who can't be areas to think about it -

this

Crunchymum · 10/09/2016 12:43

How did try conversation go?

To me it's reads like he said 'let's meet in Camden' and you said 'OK sounds good'

He could be waiting for you to tell him where in Camden!!!

Camden is obviously an example.

hmcAsWas · 10/09/2016 12:44

He doesn't sound all that keen tbh

Jessbow · 10/09/2016 12:44

Depend how much you want to go.

either leave it and see

or

''outside Nando's at 7?''

Original poster
whatmoredoyouwantfromme · 10/09/2016 12:46

Maybe he isn't keen, I think he definitely was but who knows. He has to travel in anyway so bigger effort from him than me.

Yeah exactly he suggested a place in our city eg Camden and I said, cool sounds good. This was after I had messaged suggesting a time and asking where was convenient though...

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 10/09/2016 12:50

If you don't hear from him, make plans with friends and go out.

All this angst before a date? Hardly makes it seem worth it.

Benedikte2 · 10/09/2016 12:52

May be an oversight on his part -- when he starts to get ready will realise you have agreed on an exact venue.

Boysnme · 10/09/2016 12:53

If that's all that was said then the ball is not in his court. Just message him and ask where you are meeting. Or even better pick up the phone and call him.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/09/2016 12:58

Text him. He may have completely forgotten, accidentally deleted it, not received it etc. Say something very short like "Did you get my text on X day?". That will likely start up the conversation again.

WeirdAndPissedOff · 10/09/2016 13:00

If he has to travel in, is it possible he doesn't know the area well enough to suggest good spots, etc, and is waiting for you to do so?

darthmaul · 10/09/2016 13:04

Can't you just text and say 'hey are we still on for later?' And he'll probably reply to confirm the finer details.

On an early date with my now-DH, we had a miscommunication and both ended up in different nearby restaurants thinking we'd been stood up. Grin