To think home schooling should be better monitored?

[Mollymoo78]

One of my FB friends from my toddler group days has announced on FB that she's home schooling her four year old. She was always very very attached to him and never had a moment away from him ie a night out. She breast fed him well into his fourth year and carried him in a sling when he got tired. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm genuinely wondering if her decision to home school has more to do with her being reluctant to let him go.

Her comments on FB are "well I have no precise plans as to what I'm going to do but they learn through play at this age anyway so it doesn't matter". I just felt quite uncomfortable reading that. It all sounds very vague. My dd has started school recently and loves it - the socialisation with her peers and older children, the physical activity, getting independence and rewards for her achievements. She's playing yes but she's also being taught to read and write. But what if this boy isn't given these things - who is going to be checking up on the education he's being given?

I don't mean to put a downer on homeschooling - I've no doubt it's the perfect option for those whose children don't gel with school but shouldn't you at least try school first? Am I wrong to question this in my mind?

EnquiringMingeWantsToKnow....
But we aren't talking illegal religious schools... We are talking about monitoring legal home edders.
No one will monitor illegal schools because they're illegal so will only be closed when discovered.
Can we also have the compulsory in home cctv. Just to ensure that parents who send their children to school aren't abusing them when they go home... or monthly cupboard checks of all parents who are found with incorrect lunch box items to ensure that children are getting the right food.
How far do we take it.. this "monitoring?"

If you monitor school children in the holidays and after school then by all means monitor home ed children.

Illegal schools are a totally different subject and the government should tackle them, i am happy to comply with a certain amount of academic monitoring if the person doing the monitoring actually understands the many different and many ways of learning.

I am not happy to have the so called person in my home as im not happy to have strangers in my home full stop. Before when i met with the lea i went to them, they had no problem with this, i went to extra meetings than standard in my area as my daughter has a echp so there is more involved.

If anyone has a problem with a childs welfare at school or home ed then contact ss but home ed by itself is not a reason to do so. The fact that ss is called on home ed parents far more and then proven to show there were no issues anyway, shows the inbuilt prejudices in peoples minds.

People think their path and their way is better but they fail to realise every child and every family is different, just because it works for you and your children, doesn't mean it works for everyone, my sister left school at 16 unable to read better than a 6 yr old, we read to her and with her at home but her confidence was shattered by school and she would no longer engage with learning even at home, i wish my mum had had the time to home ed her.

My 7yo may never go to school, i asked her this morning and she was adamant she does not want to.

We will continue to home ed with the monitoring that is currently in place. School very often and in some of the worst cases have not picked up abuse and when they have done so ss have not followed up. The whole system needs to be sorted out and resources put into centres like surestart but it is far easier to pick on home ed and monitoring instead of sorting out support for parents, ss resources and sen education.

Its just another stick to beat parents who home ed with, most home ed children are no more invisible than school children, if ss involvement is needed then its needed for that child either way, home ed is not the issue.

People are too close minded as shown by those openly equating home ed with abuse. More monitoring just makes it more difficult for parents trying to educate and facilitate learning for their children as those monitoring often have no understanding of whats involved.

And people need to stop confusing a child missing education with a home ed child. Please go google the difference.

I really don't care how people educate their children if they are educating them. What I do care about are children who are 'homeschooled' when they're actually not being, they are off all radars and being abused. As I have said before there are two posters on this thread who were abused at home and had no one to help as they had no outside contacts. Without any register or monitoring we do not know how many children in the UK are currently going through that. There needs to be something in place where all children have at least the chance to tell someone what is happening in their home. The posters on this thread said they would have told someone if they had a chance.

Like I said a standard

English , maths and science test of any one who plans to homeschool

If you can pass it then you are not providing your child with a basic education

Sounds like she's nurturing her own needs. She is definitely not doing her child any favors. How is he ever going to make it on his own, when time comes? I'm not going to criticize homeschooling as a whole, but I know there are quite a few that homeschool their children, who aren't qualified to do so.

I feel so sorry for those children, as they don't get to learn those so very important socializing skills that come naturally, when they are around other children.

So they don't see any other children at all ever 😳. If it comes so naturally why do they need to learn it ?
I know people who aren't qualified to parent a kitten and yet do so without interference.
It blows me away that people want more state interference than we already have - for other people mind - not people like themselves 🙄

Children at school dont all hit the standards set in maths english and science. Not really sure thats grounds to say the education is inadequate. There is too much subject knowledge in the primary curriculum which can be taught but is better understood when children are older. I genuinely beleive that children can afford not to be over stuffed with information that is quite out of contect and often pointless whilst they are still very young without it being detrimental to their overall success in education. I think all children have a right to a safe childhood but it seems more often the case that children can suffer dreadfully even whilst being very much in the system and whilst they are being therefore 'monitored'. I think its just a case of whatever choice of education is, some kids thrive some dont, some kids are safe some aren't. In general though i think most parents are best placed to make decisions for their own children and should be able to do so. I also think that decisions regarding education and how it is being delivered should be reviewed and discussed as a family.

If I was HE, I would welcome checks. I would want to know that I am doing okay and not neglecting the education of my children without realising it. So no, it is not just for other people.

AnneEyhtMeyer you said
"Cancelly:

The reason why I would limit it to primary is because I do not believe school is just about formal education. I believe it is about integrating into society. Being HE is not compatible with that, however many groups or activities some HE attend."

I am wondering, how does sitting in a class for 6 hours a day with 30 odd other kids the same age as you prepare you for society, yet being out in society, in the real world, integrating with it as a home ed child not prepare you for the real world?

I was genuinely worried about the social aspect of HE (we took the DCs out of school age 5 and 7 due to bullying and severe stress) and I never resent being asked about it, as it's got to be pretty much the most common question. I have ASD myself and I always struggled to make friends. DD loves to play with other children, but being in a massive noisy school was making her ill, so I worried about finding the balance between socialising and sensory overwhelm.

But honestly here (with a huge and busy HE community) their social life is far, FAR better than when they were in school. They see lots of different children of all ages and from a much wider range of places and backgrounds, as well as still seeing school children at Brownies, St John Ambulance and playing out in the street etc. As well as seeing friends at various classes (HE specific gym/trampolining, writing class, trips and workshops etc) there are heaps of social meet ups at nature parks/adventure playgrounds and that sort of thing, and of course we have more time to just have regular playdates and sleepovers (something that for my DCs was just not possible after a long stressful week at school, even on weekends - meltdowns aplenty). We now tend to see HE friends during the school week, and save the non-school hours for their friends that do go to school.

They have many more proper conversations with the adults they see - other parents, club leaders, dance/sports teachers, strangers on the bus/train (I don't drive so we're on public transport a lot), museum staff, parents of my music students etc - than they did when they were at school. Their confidence has grown massively - so much that DS was discharged from speech therapy - which he'd been in for over 3 years - less than 4 months after leaving school, as he suddenly improved so much. It's been wonderful to see my shy, one-word-answer DCs blossom into confident kids who will happily chat at length about what they're learning, tell people about HE, discuss current affairs etc. I'm not saying school children can't do that - I am just saying that my own DCs did not have that natural confidence, or at least they didn't have it while in the school environment. Taking them away from that and entering a totally different, more flexible and chilled community is what fixed it for them. They get plenty of time with lots of people, but crucially they also have more opportunities to have a home day when needed, where we just relax, play and learn as a little family unit, rather than getting overwhelmed by having no choice but to sit in a class of 30 all day.

DD has also become more confident in social situations. She was, frankly, a doormat when she was at school. Again I'm not saying all school children are like this obviously! Just DD's experience. She was beaten down, literally and metaphorically. But she's found her assertiveness now, and I do think that the more varied and 'free' social life has had a huge part to play in that. Now she sticks up for herself and her friends if one of the local kids is being nasty or controlling.

However, I can totally see how it could be different if we weren't so lucky with the availability of activities and children to play with. In fact a friend who's just started HE with her youngest told me she was HEing her eldest about 10 years ago, in this same town, and she stopped after a year because there was just nothing available. But now, it's a totally different situation - we are so busy we have to turn things down, we are spoilt for choice. :)

AnneEyhtMeyer

In the nicest possible way without meaning to cause any offence, your comment about HE not being compatible with integrating socially, no matter how many HE classes children attend, is bollocks. Truly.

I could better see your point if school is a microcosm of the adult world but it's not. HE with extra-curricular groups within an HE community is probably closer to the real world.

I'm genuinely floored by what you think happens at school and suspect that you either have nothing to do with schools (so don't know that nothing magical happens) or are a teacher (and consequently assume that what you do is indispensable to children).

Either way, children are all very different and just as there are a plethora of teaching styles to suit different learners, there are different learning contexts. In short, there's more than one way to skin a cat :)

gonetosee

A few points:

1. I am not a teacher
2. I have a child at school and regularly volunteer at said school
3. I am not talking bollocks - but it is interesting to see this is your way of "not meaning to cause offence". Fortunately none is taken.

A school is more of a microcosm of society than a parent keeping a child at home and then escorting them to various groups populated with other HE children and their parents.

A child who goes to school will regularly have to deal with people from different backgrounds, with different opinions and life experiences, with different values and home lives.

HE with extra-curricular groups within an HE community is probably closer to the real world.

Your sentence above is not believable is it? A HE "community" is not close to the real world.

At my DD's school she is not with the same bunch of children all day. Neither is she with the same teacher. There is a great deal of interaction between year groups and aside from her class teacher she has separate teachers for French, Music & PE. The head teacher also regularly takes the class. Parents also go in to help with reading etc.

Yes, there are different learning styles and these should be addressed, but part of living in a society is mixing outside of your comfort zone and not only mixing with those your parent decides for you.

I have home educated the two youngest of my children( both are dyslexic), this is our fourth year. We are visited once a year by the education authority. This was initiated by me. When they come, we go through previous work since their last visit.
Then I go through with them our plans for the next school year. They either agree with it or make some of their own suggestions to support what the boys are learning.
They where instrumental in helping to get one of my son's diagnosis of autism , which the school initiated but where dragging their feet on. He struggled for three years at school.
My 15 year old when I took him out of school in year 8 couldn't read or do addition. Three years later he is writing his own science fiction book.
My children are seen by lots of people, doctor ,dentists etc they don't stay in the home all the time they mix with lots of different people, friends from when they where in school, friends where we live and so on.
Just because they are not in school doesn't mean that I decide who they mix with and that they don't take part in society. A school society is a safe society you are usually micro managed through your day. Your teacher tells you what to learn when you will learn it and how you will learn it, when you can eat and what you can eat in your packed lunch, when you can go to the toilet, when you can go and play and so on.. There is no being your self because you have to conform and if you don't you are punished in most instances.( I don't mean you can behave as you want). I still have rules, but if you want to write with a red pen instead of a black one you can. If you want to go some where quiet to think you can. If you would rather do your maths first you can.
When my son's are struggling with a concept they don't have to sit with their hands up and wait till they can be seen by a teacher who has possibly four or five others to see first.

Having to sit and wait is a good lesson in patience though.

I do feel sorry and angry that so many children with extra needs have been let down by their schools. Its unacceptable, the UK clearly needs to improve its special needs support in schools, they could really learn from Finland in that as DD has been evaluated by my request before even starting preschool and they are going to make sure that the school takes into her account her need to move around much more than the average child, and to give more time for tasks as she has a slow processing speed. Most children here get some kind of special education support at some time in their school career as its so important and everyone struggles at something or other.

Yes, there are different learning styles and these should be addressed, but part of living in a society is mixing outside of your comfort zone and not only mixing with those your parent decides for you.

This is probably more solid case against private schools than HE.

Imagine if you were to HE your own child. The first thing you'd do is google the local HE links and get in touch with other parents, eventually you'd pool higher-order resources e.g. a physics or chemistry tutor. I'd imagine a big part of HE is getting out of the house to maintain sanity.

I don't HE my children, but as I said upthread a bit - I would if I had to. I'm sure one of those reasons would be bullying or continual disruption at school. If my children were spared that particular lesson, I'd be delighted.

Anne

Again your lack of knowledge of he is holding you back! In the first place kids are dropped off everywhere not escorted. Many groups don't have parental involvement, some do. There is always a range of ages so not sure why you think school has the edge with mixing year groups. As you would know from this thread if you didn't have the he family stereotyped already, there are all sorts of reasons why kids are he and consequently all sorts of backgrounds and ages in the groups. Parents don't get to choose who goes. Neither do they dictate who is at scouts, brownies, swimming etc.

In fact a strength of he is that he children tend not to rule out older and younger children as potential friends and there is less gender segregation.

I'm not sure if your beef is more with education that's seen as exclusive - your comments would apply better to public education.

Having to sit and wait is a good lesson in patience though.

Really? You'd choose the time that a child has a question about, say, a complicated algebra problem to teach patience? I'd worry that they'd just give up or lose their train of thought.

A lesson on finding out answers for yourself then, not giving up, keeping focus etc. Just trying to see the positives in things.

Yes waiting is a good lesson in patience, but when like my son he waited for four lessons for his teacher to explain some thing to him, I think he showed a lot of patience. I had showed him what to do, but I was interested to see how long it would be before he was given help. He was told every time I can't help you now I have others to teach or we have moved on from that, but that doesn't help when the lesson relies on what you learnt previously.
As for it being a lesson in finding out for your self, not giving up and keeping focus, that's difficult when you have dyslexia and what you read doesn't make sense.
Now he doesn't need to wait, and is given all the help he needs when he needs it.

Four lessons is far too long to wait, I agree with that.

I think that's a lesson best reserved for older and very capable students.

In schools here its expected that the more capable students help the less capable and both benefit from that.

In schools here its expected that the more capable students help the less capable and both benefit from that.

So the more capable student can review what they already know and the less capable student has the pleasure of feeling indebted to the more capable student for his or her 'generosity'?

That is a big element of home ed (Co operative learning) for some subjects and specifically group projects with the difference that sit-down learning is driven by a student's questions and so the pace is usually dictated my view quickly they can be taught or find out the answers for themselves. They do not sit waiting to be given info. I think that is a major strength of home ed. Education should be about the pleasure of learning and gaining skills in finding things out/understanding processes. There is quite enough delayed gratification in that. They can learn to sit passively at some other time... When they're getting their hair cut perhaps or waiting for their turn on the swing. NOT during precious learning time.

I'm gaining great insights into the truly abysmal British attitude to learning in this thread.

my view = by how