To think home schooling should be better monitored?

[Mollymoo78]

One of my FB friends from my toddler group days has announced on FB that she's home schooling her four year old. She was always very very attached to him and never had a moment away from him ie a night out. She breast fed him well into his fourth year and carried him in a sling when he got tired. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm genuinely wondering if her decision to home school has more to do with her being reluctant to let him go.

Her comments on FB are "well I have no precise plans as to what I'm going to do but they learn through play at this age anyway so it doesn't matter". I just felt quite uncomfortable reading that. It all sounds very vague. My dd has started school recently and loves it - the socialisation with her peers and older children, the physical activity, getting independence and rewards for her achievements. She's playing yes but she's also being taught to read and write. But what if this boy isn't given these things - who is going to be checking up on the education he's being given?

I don't mean to put a downer on homeschooling - I've no doubt it's the perfect option for those whose children don't gel with school but shouldn't you at least try school first? Am I wrong to question this in my mind?

[Badhairday1001]

How could you monitor it though? Many homeschool because they are not happy with the education system, so do things differently. Learning doesn't need to be written down on worksheets to be valuable. In many countries children of 4 would not start formal schooling for another few years so of course it's ok not to have a plan and to learn through experiences and play.

[happy2bhomely]

I don't get this attitude. As parents we have a duty to make sure our children receive an education. Some of us use a private school to provide that education. Some choose a state school. Some use tutors. Some of us provide the education ourselves.

We all make different choices and our choices are often limited and influenced by our financial situation, employment, capability, patience, etc. For some, we just have to choose the least worst option because there are no good options. Most of us do what we believe is best for our children at the time, and make changes if necessary, as we go.

You are sending your dc to school because you think it's best, given your experience of your child and your circumstances. Your friend is doing what she thinks is best. What's so difficult to understand? The rest of your post about her parenting is just horrible. Why would it bother you how long she breastfed her child for?

What if i thought that everyone's fridges should be inspected regularly to make sure they stock 'suitable' food? Diet has a huge impact on a child's future after all. It wouldn't hurt to monitor it, would it? Maybe we should all keep food diaries and have spot checks just to make sure. Who would decide what was suitable? It would be ridiculous. Parents should be trusted to be responsible, until they prove otherwise.

For what it is worth, 2 of my children go to a good state secondary school. Two used to go to a poor primary school and are now educated by me. The youngest has never even been to nursery and won't be going to school.

I don't get why that might make anyone uncomfortable. I'm not trying to convince anyone else to do it.

[ourserendipitoushome]

brasty this is the second thread I have read you say that.

Just because someone recommended that, does not take away from the many, many successes that people have had home educating.

[OhHolyFuck]

I agree, there should be some level of monitoring - my mother (now nc) "homeschooled" my brother, essentially left him playing computer games all night and sleeping all day, he's now 19 with no qualifications and no work ethic, I don't know what he's going to do with his life

[IdaDown]

There are huge variances between types of home schooling and between home schooling and unschooling.

[Kr1stina]

What cancelly said

The evidence shows that HE works for most kids so it's none of your business

[Girliefriendlikesflowers]

YANBU op I get a bit twitchy about children not having anyone outside of the family having any involvement. That said for some families and some children it is absolutely the best thing and the children thrive.

I have also heard of cases where 9 year olds can't read or write, my friend is a teacher and has been shocked at some of the children who were 'home schooled.' Some have come into education late primary aged and haven't even had a basic education.

[Charley50]

I agree in general that home schooling should be monitored.
I work in FE and have met many a 'home-schooled' 17 year old who cannot read or do maths and who hasn't been taught F all and has taken no exams, and often whose parents have 'ishoos'.

Obviously home schooling can be amazing and can be a better option for some children... I'm not dissing home schooling done properly... It's the children who fall through the gaps who concern me.

[CaptainSubtext]

My DCs have been home educated for around 18 months now, and having an 'inspection' doesn't bother me at all. I'd say about 95% of the local HE community is the same - happily welcoming the LEA in etc. There are very few who refuse visits etc. There is one person who apparently is totally off radar - not even registering (unattended) births, never seeing a doctor or anything - but that goes waaaay beyond normal HE and not one other HE parent I know agrees with it.

I just think, I have nothing to hide, the DCs are happy and flourishing (even DD's psychologist - she has ASD with high anxiety - discharged her after saying we'd clearly done the right thing by taking her out of school). The DCs really enjoyed the visit too, they were happy to chat about all the clubs they do and show her their projects etc.

The DCs are well used to 'intervention' though, we had family support workers etc which started long before we HEd and stopped similar to the psychologist as life was so much better for us. We've never had an issue with anything like that.

[ourserendipitoushome]

Fartooexpensive

No, you don't have to follow a curriculum. You do have to make sure your child is receiving an education appropriate for their ability and age.

What philosophy of education you choose to follow is totally up too you.

No, there is currently no monitoring.

OhHolyFuck that's not really home education though is it? That's either lazy parenting, or a child refusing to take responsibility for their lives.

Having lived under a monitoring system in Australia, I can say, that monitoring and registration, may not have changed that any more than a school having a good OFSTEAD report, would mean a child wouldn't slip through the system.

[Charley50]

Oops sorry, has been taught fuck all!
Yanbu OP.

[gillybeanz]

Yes, you are very wrong to question this in your mind, when you clearly have no idea about H.ed
do some homework and research and then see if you have to question your friend.

What sort of monitoring do you suggest? Who would do this? What would they monitor and against what criteria?

[ourserendipitoushome]

Fartooexpensive

Evidence of activities does not prove learning, any more than a good OFSTEAD report does.

[sherridan]

Enquiringminge has it right. Those who home educate because they they believe they can offer amazing opportunities to their children (and have the ability to do so) can provide a more personalised education than any school. In the interest of the children whose parents who home ed for other reasons, there needs to be monitoring. As things stand the onus is on the authorities to show that parents aren't home educating appropriately, not on the parents to show that they are. Schools wouldn't get away with that...

[brasty]

No monitoring would be perfect, but better than nothing at all.

[WorraLiberty]

Can I just ask because I genuinely have no idea...

Do home educated kids still take the same sort of exams as schooled kids? I mean GCSEs and A.S levels/A levels?

And if so, how do the results compare to the national average of schooled children?

I've tried to find the answer on the internet in the past, but I was just very confused

[TheGoodEnoughWife]

Most of the things said about home schooling could be said of schools - some children do well and some do not and for anyone that think home educated children could suffer long term some children are harmed long term from bullying at school - unfortunately it is still seen as the 'right' option to send your child to school.

I home educate - my daughter is fantastic, taken exams early, sociable and able to interact with various people of different ages.

Home education is the right for my dd and lots of others.
Maybe your friend is concerned about you sending your child to school? Or maybe she is just minding her own business - try it.
Not your monkey, not your circus

[Purplebluebird]

You sound very judgemental. I think homeschooling a 4 year old is fine, and yes they do learn through play (though will need some guidance too) - in many countries children don't start school until 6, so it's hardly something to get your tail in a fluff about. Worry more if she's homeschooling her child at 10 and refusing to teach essential skills! She might do just fine you know!

[CaptainSubtext]

The DCs do have lots of other people involved in their life and education BTW, I don't personally like the idea of them just having us two to guide them IYSWIM. They go to lots of different groups and classes run by other people (some home ed, some regular). They are much more confident around other adults now and I think it's because they see more adults than they did at school (where it was mostly one teacher and a couple of TAs).

[AnneEyhtMeyer]

YANBU.

Whilst I am sure that some people HE successfully and for the right reasons, the only person I know who does it does it because they can't surrender control of their child.

I think if you want to HE you should pass an exam in English, maths, history, geography and science, and it should be limited to primary schooling. I also think you should be required to document and prove the education taking place.

Too many times on MN I see people justifying a trip to the supermarket as being "educational".

[brasty]

Yes but not all parents are good parents. And not all parents are up to the task of home educating. Even though some try to.

[Cagliostro]

Worra that's a really individual thing, some don't do traditional exams and do vocational stuff, some do exams at specialist centres etc. :)

[frikadela01]

Yabu. You have no idea why she's chosen to home educate.
For some people home education is the better option. I've known people who were home educated and just like people who were educated in school they are a mixed bag of outcomes as adults.

I would love to home educated but it just isn't a possibility for us. I can't afford to not work and the type of home education I like (getting out and about rather than sticking st home) imo requires money.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

The kids not even compulsory education age.