To think home schooling should be better monitored?

[Mollymoo78]

One of my FB friends from my toddler group days has announced on FB that she's home schooling her four year old. She was always very very attached to him and never had a moment away from him ie a night out. She breast fed him well into his fourth year and carried him in a sling when he got tired. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm genuinely wondering if her decision to home school has more to do with her being reluctant to let him go.

Her comments on FB are "well I have no precise plans as to what I'm going to do but they learn through play at this age anyway so it doesn't matter". I just felt quite uncomfortable reading that. It all sounds very vague. My dd has started school recently and loves it - the socialisation with her peers and older children, the physical activity, getting independence and rewards for her achievements. She's playing yes but she's also being taught to read and write. But what if this boy isn't given these things - who is going to be checking up on the education he's being given?

I don't mean to put a downer on homeschooling - I've no doubt it's the perfect option for those whose children don't gel with school but shouldn't you at least try school first? Am I wrong to question this in my mind?

For those who keep banging on about the under 5 s, most children from 3 onwards attend some form of nursery provision. Do you know one of the first things that those involved in social care do for families of under 3's where there are concerns? They ensure they attend groups, playgroups, nurseries etc. They do this so that these children are closely monitored. So whilst it is by no means perfect there is quite substantial monitoring of under 5s. Health visitors play a very important part in this process. Just because some people on MN say you don't need to see your HV doesn't mean its good advice.

What about my son who had his head banged repeatedly off a table by a teacher?

Nicki, when did this happen? In the UK? What happened to the teacher? Obviously it's appalling and I can see why you'd withdraw your child from school while it was being dealt with.

I just can't believe there is nothing that can be done to even attempt to help the few children who are off the radar and being abused, and that there appear to be people who don't seem to want to try and help them. I don't know what would be the best way to help but if a child can be kept prisoner at home without seeing anyone apart from their for years they are clearly being let down (not only by their family but the system). I know plenty of other children are let down and stuff needs to be done about that but that isn't what this thread is about.

*apart from their immediate family

I've got loads of homeschooling ads appearing in the RH column of this thread now...

It happened five years ago, here in the UK, when he was attending an ASD unit. She denied it, he was non verbal apart from with me and his Dad and it couldn't be pursued. She claimed she had never been alone with him so it couldn't have happened.

My ex husbands step sister was a teacher in an ASD unit, she failed to get into the police force due to lack on mental stability, became a teacher through OU so for me not really meeting with other students and good teachers. I could totally imagine her hurting a child under the pretence of restraining them.

Birds destiny-those groups you've mentioned are the exact groups that are being closed down at children's centres across the country. Level one and two families will not be able to have the same access to help as previously seen. There aren't the resources needed for families that have already been on the radar of SS.

Before you ask whether or not YABU, you need to ask yourself if your opinion has ever changed anyone's mind. She seems to be clear about what she plans to do - that's not going to change. You need to be clear (within yourself) about how you choose to react to her decision and what you think you can best live with. Regardless of whether you think it's a good idea or she's got what it takes to homeschool her kid, it's not your call. She may be flaky, and may very well be doing the kid a disservice, but maybe the kid isn't ready to go to school yet. Maybe the kid will ask to go later. You'd be amazed at what they can and will catch up on when they're little.

yabu. many teachers home ed their own kids. That speaks volumes.

Nickifury
Im not ignorant or judgemental. I have read enough HE posts to read between the lines and im not impressed by HErs. If HE is supposed to be so wonderful you should be prepared to be inspected on a very regular basis.

What all of them? Every single post? Every home ed person on MN? You've read between the lines and found them all wanting?

As I said before, it's attitudes like that that make home ed families resistant to inspection.

I home educate some of my children. We do get a visit once a year to check up (I know this is it compulsory but I have no problem with it).

I use a very structured approach (timetabled and full days) BUT don't follow the national curriculum.

You are expected to educate your child but the structure and content of that education is totally down to you.

My children in school learn just as much at home as school - as do all school age children I would imagine! School does a very basic job in my opinion and EVERY parent should expect to "homeschool" to a certain extent.

Im not ignorant or judgemental. I have read enough HE posts to read between the lines and im not impressed by HErs. If HE is supposed to be so wonderful you should be prepared to be inspected on a very regular basis.

Maybe you're not ignorant, but your views are fascist. Citizens are under no obligation to submit to government inspection 'on a very regular basis' unless they're suspected of a crime.

No, Museum, but it would be a pretty awful state of affairs if the government didn't keep an eye on what HE children are learning and whether they are safe.

But they don't now imperial and it's not a pretty awful state of affairs.

Though I am not sure why I am even bothering to address you, after you questioned me about my son's experiences then didn't even bother to acknowledge my answer.

I'm sorry, Nicki; this is such a long and fast-moving thread and I didn't see your answer. There was nothing personal or deliberately offensive in my not replying.

It's appalling that your son was hurt by someone who should have had his best interests at heart.

Thanks. It's just this account of what went on has often been met with silence in our real lives, usually indicating skepticism, so I am probably being somewhat sensitive.

I do think people put so much trust into our school system that they cannot begin to comprehend how such a thing could happen. But it did and five years on the closest my son will go to a school is to wait by the gate of the playground while I go in for his sister.

I would always believe my children and would expect you to believe yours, especially over something like that. I think you only have to look at behaviour in some care homes to see that staff don't always control themselves. It's awful for him and for you, too.

YANBU. I grew up next door to a home-schooled family. 6 DCs the mum was lovely but forever tired, I don't think she could cope. The dad - who was the one who bragged about homeschooling the most, was NEVER there. He'd go across to south London, find a High Street then start preaching about the bible. The DCs wanted to go to school, they told me & my siblings that. But they weren't allowed

I shouldnt generalise re HS really but tbh this stuck in my mind. I only know of 2 other families who do the homeschooling thing, one is same set up as the family I grew up next door to ie father is a lazy entitled religious nut. The other is a woman who, nice as she is, will waylay you and talk at such a high volume (wants everyone to hear) about homeschooling her son and not being a slave to the system.

So I tend veer towards thinking the parent who homeschools wants to centre their entire life around their child(ren) so as to escape from whatever other perceived responsibility they don't want to be asked with be that the daily school run and all else school entails, a job/career to aid family income and opportunities for DCs beyond the usual/local

Children are better of amongs their peers, gaining social skills and friendships. Doesn't have to be in school setting but Im not convinced parents who homeschool take this into account. The woman I mentioned who talks in decibels calls her DD "my bestie", pics of them all over FB. There should be a far more robust monitoring of homeschooling

So the nice woman, loves her child and is best friends with her and that's cause for concern ? What planet are people on these days

Well it's clear you haven't read the thread mistress as you say that children need to be with their peers but not necessarily in a school setting and many posts have indicated that home ed children spend a great deal of time with their peers and explained how many families come to it but you've just churned out the same old cliches with regards to overly attached mothers.

I think I won't comment on this thread anymore, I know I said that before but this time I mean it dammit!

YABU if it doesn't concern your child it's none of your business anyway! Just because you chose to follow and unnatural way of parenting don't cast aspersions on her or the home ed community!

Overly attached mothers? Trying to avoid responsibility??

I'll take the time to point out that many parents that home educate do so because their child has SNs/disabilities and the child is not able to cope in mainstream or often even specialised schools. Many of these children have been spectacularly failed by their schools and the LAs. The parents home educate because they care, and they want to make sure their children receive a suitable education as the child was unable to access the curriculum in school - usually due to a lack of support from the school.

So instead of getting a bit of down time or being able to work while their children are in school, they are now taking on the additional responsibility of their child's education. This is usually after they've worn themselves out fighting the school, the LA, and the NHS for the past few years to attempt to get appropriate support for their children's needs.

Now that you've trotted out about a zillion "typical" comments that marks you as utterly uneducated about home ed - I'd suggest you take the time to learn about it before you criticise it.