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Original poster

14 and 12 year old can't use the bathroom

89 replies

WentworthMillerMad · 09/09/2016 11:09

I spent a week over the summer holidays with my DHs family in a hired holiday cottage in England.
It's close family and their 2 sons are aged 14 and 12. We don't spend that much time together and I was looking forward to it.
DH and I noticed after the first day that there were shit handprints on the tiles in the bathroom, also over the toilet roll holder, the seat and lots of urine on the floor. When I questioned the boys the shrugged their shoulders and both parents found it highly amusing. I asked them to clean the bathroom after each use which they did if I was around but not if I wasn't. DH and I cleaned both bathrooms 3 times a day so that they were usable and counted the minutes until the 'holiday' ended.
They are due to stay with us in 2 weeks and it will be easier as its my house, my rules but should I talk to the parents seriously about this. I fear if I do they will cut us out of their lives. The boys just haven't been taught how use the bathroom.
Parents on the whole are not around as work v long hours. They didn't shower in the whole week we were there and often ate with their hands.
I am not saying my kids are perfect but these kids don't have the basics and they are not nice to be around. Any suggestions gratefully received! I am very down about this, I found it shocking but also really sad. Parents see them as quirky and independent. Maybe we just avoid them and butt out and shut up!!! Help!

OP posts:
MitzyLeFrouf · 09/09/2016 11:12

Actual shit handprints on the tiles and toilet roll holder and pools of piss on the floor? And their parents think it's amusing!? NO WAY would they be invited to stay in my home. Who cares if the parents take offence.

MitzyLeFrouf · 09/09/2016 11:13

but should I talk to the parents seriously about this.

Yes. Ahead of time so they know you mean business.

BarbarianMum · 09/09/2016 11:16

Every time they leave a mess tell their parents to clean it. The rest you have to live with why did you ask them to stay?

liz70 · 09/09/2016 11:17

Give them the address of your nearest zoo.

Creativemode · 09/09/2016 11:20

Did they really, honestly leave shit handprints on the tiles?

I've known people to have some really disgusting toilet habits but that seems far fetched. Wtf did they do pick the shit up and rub it in their hands?

Are you exaggerating a bit?

roomonmybroom · 09/09/2016 11:22

Shock I would be recinding the invite for a start, I don't care if the parents would clean it up, just boak.
I am assuming there are no reasons why they do not know how to use the bathroom, so they are just dirty fuckers.
I would not pussy foot around letting them know why either!

Idratherbeaunicorn · 09/09/2016 11:27

I feel for you OP - Its not an easy conversation to have, but if they're going to be staying in your house then I think you are going to need to speak with the parents, if not, you're going to be on pee & poo duty for the duration of their stay!
I apologise if this is rude (I really don't mean it to be) - but I presume that they don't have special needs that would mean that they aren't able to use the loo properly? If there isn't a real reason, and they are just gross / lazy, then you should say something.
They're teenagers, they should know how to use the bathroom. Goodness knows how they'll get on at school or as adults if they dont learn!

paxillin · 09/09/2016 11:27

I would worry about the boys. Unless they have developmental delay or asd, I'd like to know about abuse or neglect. It's not usually done for a laugh.

JennyOnAPlate · 09/09/2016 11:27

shit handprints on the tiles? at the age of 12 and 14??

No fucking way would they be starting at my house.

VenusRising · 09/09/2016 11:29

Now now creative, no need to call the op a liar.
She's posted her story, if you think she's a poo troll, report her.

Tbh op I'd ask they stay in a hotel.

If you have to have them staying at yours, take the boys aside, or post the rules to them before they step inside and let them know that if they are dirty and disgusting, they'll be asked to leave and have to pay for a cleaner, and you mean it.
If they agree to your terms, they can stay, if not, they can't.

Littleredhouse · 09/09/2016 11:30

Yuck! No way would they be staying at my house either. That's just disgusting. The parents can't seriously find it funny?!

acasualobserver · 09/09/2016 11:32

I know it's too late now but why didn't you just bag one of the holiday cottage bathrooms for your sole use? As to having them to stay, no, absolutely not. I'd be ready to fall out with my friends over it.

Creativemode · 09/09/2016 11:33

I'm not calling her a troll. I do believe this but I'm just honestly wondering if there's some exaggerating. I can't get my head around the shit handprints. I can well believe the piss on the floor.

I would be thinking neglect

Deerking · 09/09/2016 11:39

They wouldn't be setting foot in my house!

2014newme · 09/09/2016 11:39

I wouldn't have them to stay.

MoreCoffeeNow · 09/09/2016 11:39

Withdraw the invitation, seriously.

MitzyLeFrouf · 09/09/2016 11:40

Yes piss on the floor is a pretty common sight when teenage boys are around but I've never seen a shot handprint.

Magicpaintbrush · 09/09/2016 11:40

I don't get it, I mean their age should suggest a certain amount of intelligence, and I think most children half their age would know it's not ok to leave shit smeared over the bathroom walls?? What, are they wiping their arses with their hands or something? If they can't go to the toilet without leaving shit and piss all over the show then presumably they aren't going to be bothered about washing their hands properly (or at all). And they eat with those hands? And then touch stuff wherever they go with toilet infested hands also? Oh dear God. No no no.

The mind boggles. I mean, when they are older these kids will be out in the world, you know, jobs, girlfriends etc and who would put up with that? Not an employer and not a potential girlfriend. Their habits could really hamper them when they're older. Why on earth their parents have let this happen is beyond me.

youngestisapsycho · 09/09/2016 11:40

Shit hand prints??

SandyY2K · 09/09/2016 11:40

Do they have learning disabilities?

NellysKnickers · 09/09/2016 11:41

Piss on the floor - meh but shit handprints from boys at that age. No fucking way would they be staying at my house. My 5 year old sometimes misses and gets wee on the floor but never shit on the walls Shock

MoonfaceAndSilky · 09/09/2016 11:41

Why would you invite them to your house when you were 'counting the minutes'' to get away from them?

ScarletForYa · 09/09/2016 11:42

Not in a million years would they cross my threshold.

Magicpaintbrush · 09/09/2016 11:42

And btw, clearing up other people's shit is beyond the call of duty unless it's your own young or sick child, or your elderly/infirm parents.

Not your job.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/09/2016 11:42

Aside from babies and toddlers occasionally spreading it around, I've only ever heard of this sort of thing in elderly people with pretty bad dementia.

I certainly wouldn't have them to stay. But if the parents find it funny I don't suppose it'll be much use saying anything. I'd just steer well clear.