Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

14 and 12 year old can't use the bathroom

89 replies

WentworthMillerMad · 09/09/2016 11:09

I spent a week over the summer holidays with my DHs family in a hired holiday cottage in England.
It's close family and their 2 sons are aged 14 and 12. We don't spend that much time together and I was looking forward to it.
DH and I noticed after the first day that there were shit handprints on the tiles in the bathroom, also over the toilet roll holder, the seat and lots of urine on the floor. When I questioned the boys the shrugged their shoulders and both parents found it highly amusing. I asked them to clean the bathroom after each use which they did if I was around but not if I wasn't. DH and I cleaned both bathrooms 3 times a day so that they were usable and counted the minutes until the 'holiday' ended.
They are due to stay with us in 2 weeks and it will be easier as its my house, my rules but should I talk to the parents seriously about this. I fear if I do they will cut us out of their lives. The boys just haven't been taught how use the bathroom.
Parents on the whole are not around as work v long hours. They didn't shower in the whole week we were there and often ate with their hands.
I am not saying my kids are perfect but these kids don't have the basics and they are not nice to be around. Any suggestions gratefully received! I am very down about this, I found it shocking but also really sad. Parents see them as quirky and independent. Maybe we just avoid them and butt out and shut up!!! Help!

OP posts:

Mynestisfullofempty · 09/09/2016 14:32

maybethedayafter "Either they've never been taught them or they're consciously choosing to disobey them and then you have to ask why?"

According to the OP, their parents find it "highly amusing"

Fanjolena · 09/09/2016 14:40

You can't have them to stay, if they're playing with their own shit I doubt they're washing their hands and will have they're shitty mitts all over your belongings. Also it's actually worrying, playing with/ smearing your own excrement can be a sign of psychological problems which is sometimes triggered by sexual abuse. It's not normal for a 12 and 14 year old to be touching their own shit.

Fanjolena · 09/09/2016 14:42

The parents reaction is fucking bizzare aswell.

Strokethefurrywall · 09/09/2016 15:03

I'm truly baffled as to why anyone would put up with this, let alone clean up after someone else's shitty teenagers?

And there is no way in hell I'd have them stay at my house. Have some respect for yourself and your family home OP, don't let them stay with you. Why would you put yourself through it?

Grumpyoldblonde · 09/09/2016 15:08

They go to school? So presumably they use the toilets and eat there and have the odd meal out, go to friends? I would have no issue taking back the invite and saying it is because they behave like animals, seriously no way would they get through my front door.

allsfairinlove · 09/09/2016 15:13

This is a very weird thread. Shit handprints? Parents finding it amusing? Weird.

PrivatePike · 09/09/2016 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RegTheMonkey1 · 09/09/2016 15:22

I wouldn't have them in my house, and I would tell the parents why. I also would not have cleaned up after them at the cottage, but that's the past. The point is you don't want them doing the same thing in your own home. If they don't wipe properly, can you imagine what your sheets and towels would be like!

Seeyouontheotherside · 09/09/2016 15:37

Why did you agree to have them in your home when you know what they're like? It's not too late to cancel. Explain why, be very specific, you don't want to be cleaning their shit off everything and having your entire home contaminated.

Mynestisfullofempty · 09/09/2016 15:40

Don't forget "They didn't shower in the whole week we were there and often ate with their hands". Hands that were no doubt filthy, and still OP and her husband didn't say anything! Unbelievable.

JustDanceAddict · 09/09/2016 15:45

What?!?? My two are the same age and are perfectly capable of good bathroom habits. My son not a shower fan, but if I prompt him, he has one. They've never left shit prints anywhere & if DS does accidentally wee on the floor ie, miss, he will wipe it up.

PerspicaciaTick · 09/09/2016 15:50

So they are using their bare hands to wipe? Because it really isn't usual to regularly get shit on your hands when using paper.

maybethedayafter · 09/09/2016 16:05

Not only that but if you did accidentally get shit on your hands surely your first thought would be "urgh! I've got shit on my hands. Better wash them!" Not "I've got shit on my hands, I think I'll put them on the tiles"

MNHQ

AmyGMumsnet · 09/09/2016 16:05

Hi all

Thanks for the reports we've had about this thread. We're pleased to say our resident poo troll is not back and that the OP of this one is genuine.

OP, hope you don't mind us popping on to clarify, but we do often get troll threads about this sort of thing so wanted to set collective minds at rest. Best of luck in resolving the situation.

Flip

1 2 3 4