Your post really reminds me of me, a few years ago. Maybe it's not that bad, or maybe it is. It strikes a chord though, about the way I felt, when I was in a very bad way. Stbxh... I loved him so much. And I continued to try and make it work long after I should have done. I slip slided gradually into a very bad state, he was abusive, but it took me a long time to see it. And longer to admit it, to myself really, though it showed through my need to stop others seeing it.
Was humiliating, and if others witnessed it, it made it real. And the pressure of others needs and expectations on me about how I should react, it was too much to bear.
I think people can forget that parents won't always respond in a helpful way. So, it can be great that they find out, and they offer tremendous support and love that helps you. But also, it can just add to the number of things you have to cope with.
In my case my parents weren't the supportive type, so it was about how bad it made my mother feel, and how upset she was etc etc. It actually diverted my energy into managing her, which wasn't helpful at all. But I did the right thing in the end. And that was to get me and DS free of stbxh.
So... I understand the awfulness of having to go through the grilling, reaction and demands of family when they see your partner behave badly.
And yes, I cared more about their reaction and their demands of me to react however they wanted... All much more than the horribleness of the way my husband treated me.
It's what happens when you live with someone who treats you like shit. You go into cover- up mode as at least everything can look ok, that's something important to self esteem and pride and a desperate need to act like you're living the life you should be.
I hope today's not too bad. 
Sometimes close family can have the right idea you know. Of course, sometimes they don't, and that's a whole other mess!
Take care of yourself. Your feelings matter just as much as anyone else's.