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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being annoyed at DH for constantly referring to our 3 year olds erections?

156 replies

1ittlegreen · 07/09/2016 21:05

Whenever my ds gets an erection dh says something like "oooh you could have someone's eye out with that" or similar. Ds looks slightly confused and I think it's too soon to be drawing attention to things like that.
AIBU to try and stop my DH for saying these things? Don't want ds to start feeling ashamed...

OP posts:
LyndaNotLinda · 07/09/2016 23:04

Really? Oh FFS, grow up some of you. No wonder some men think their penises are mighty swords.

'Practically an extra member of the family'. Do me a fucking favour Hmm

CurlyhairedAssassin · 07/09/2016 23:05

We always just ignored them unless our sons commented on it themselves and then we'd just explain that they just happen sometimes and it's normal. And then back onto Thomas the Tank Engine or whatever their obsession was at the time.

But they'll be a talking point for your son for a few years yet probably so no need for you DH to mention it! DS2 did sex education in the summer term (he's now in year 6) and took it upon himself to helpfully inform me that he was "just having a stiffy at the moment." While trying not to laugh i said "oh. Ok. That's fine." And carried on what I was doing. He said "it's totally normal, mum, and happens to all boys" as if I had no clue and he was educating me!!

Maybe your DH is just trying to normalise it by making a joke, because he's embarrassed and think it's a sexual thing and that your son is wierd for having them! You need to tell him that they are mostly involuntary at that age, little boys just accept it without making it an issue and as long as they're not walking around naked after their bath surprising Granny with it then your DH just needs to ignore it.

WankingMonkey · 07/09/2016 23:06

Ugh this is weird. Have you tried replying along the lines of 'yeah, don't know where he gets it from..as yours is bloody tiny'? I imagine that may shrivel the willy-pride a little...

Otherwise a deathstare should really suffice. If not, then its conversation time...though how on earth I would deal with that convo I don't know, DH would stop at the deathstare moment.

WankingMonkey · 07/09/2016 23:07

I also didn't know babies got erections. I remember asking the MW if it was normal about 2 hours after he came out Grin She just sniggered a bit at me and raised an eyebrow :/

CurlyhairedAssassin · 07/09/2016 23:08

Lynda: I think it was a light-hearted tongue in cheek comment!

ThymeForTea · 07/09/2016 23:08

Ew

Potatofish · 07/09/2016 23:08

Puzzled as to what seems to have unleashed your considerable ire, Lynda. Hmm My four year old is enjoying and rather mystified by his penis these days. It doesn't have its own bedroom or anything.

MylaMimi · 07/09/2016 23:10

potatofish you can't be for real! "Practically an extra member of the family" Grin

CurlyhairedAssassin · 07/09/2016 23:10

I do think people are too squeamish about this, it explains why mothers of little boys are ignorant of this happening and are shocked when they first witness it. It seems even on MN people are uptight about it!

It's normal, it just happens (often!), it's no big deal, don't draw attention to it but don't be embarrassed or shocked by it, and you can't go far wrong.

LHReturns · 07/09/2016 23:13

Hee hee Potatofish - my two year old is going the same way and I refuse to take it all so seriously!

It doesn't have to be 'seriously weird' to acknowledge something natural going on. If OP doesn't like it then she should of course tell her OH. But I can't accuse the poor man of being gross based on the OP. Maybe he was uncomfortable about it as a child and wasn't made to feel it was natural.

SarkySara · 07/09/2016 23:18

Jinx you made me laugh at loud!!

Potatofish · 07/09/2016 23:19

He was running around nude after his first day at school last Friday and I came across him trying to play the piano with his penis. It sounded like very experimental jazz...

YourNewspaperIsShit · 07/09/2016 23:33

My son, then three, reliably informed me that if you wake up and your willy is sticky-uppy, don't wee or you will get wee in your eyebrows This had me chuckling out loud, your DS sound fab!

WankingMonkey · 07/09/2016 23:39

My son, then three, reliably informed me that if you wake up and your willy is sticky-uppy, don't wee or you will get wee in your eyebrows.

This is brilliant Grin

Can't wait til my son starts talking

LyndaNotLinda · 07/09/2016 23:41

I just think it's not surprising that so many men treat their penises like they're separate entities with their own personalities when their parents positively encourage it.

And then they grow up to be like the OP's husband.

PikachuBoo · 07/09/2016 23:42

I've boys and from a very early stage they compared willies in the bath. Not competitively but as a matter of important study. To them. I frequently had to leave the bathroom to splutter in hysterics, "Just Mummy coughing."

They didn't need any help to notice them! And certainly before 3 for all but the first. I can't remember about him.

LyndaNotLinda · 07/09/2016 23:43

I'm not remotely squeamish about it incidentally, we just don't make s big song and dance about it

Mycraneisfixed · 08/09/2016 00:02

Your DH sounds very immature and a bit thick tbh.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 08/09/2016 00:25

I thought it was just my son who is obsessed with his willy he is only 18 months and he won't leave it alone. I do try and encourage him to put it back in his nappy to prevent accidents. He puts it away 1 minute and then the next he pulls it out again.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 08/09/2016 00:34

I think you're dh shouldn't be making a big deal out of it. He could get embarrassed eventually.

WanderingTrolley1 · 08/09/2016 00:41

It's very odd. Wtf is wrong with him?!

Beeziekn33ze · 08/09/2016 02:34

Potato- you've reminded me of when 'illy' (his word for his willy) was regarded by 3 year old as his best friend!

ginandbearit · 08/09/2016 06:41

Blimey, all boys and men are obsessed with their winkies from day one ... I'll probably get the vulva police here in a sec to tell me how wrong I am not to call it by its anatomical name... and they are a
constant source of amusement to boys... and if parents over react then that's where shame and confusion start .
I remember my little cousins being screeched at and shamed by their parents because after bath stiffies were on parade..funny how hung up adults can be about children's bodies .

LHReturns · 08/09/2016 06:53

Agree entirely ginandbearit. But apparently the obsession is all down to 'weird' and 'thick' parenting. I think much weirder to pretend that a toddler's full-on-display erection isn't happening, as if it is something 'rude' or embarrassing.

IceRoadDucker · 08/09/2016 08:20

Really creepy. Not the fact that he's commenting on it, but the words he's choosing. "You could have someone's eye out with that" WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Weird. Creepy. He should stop.