AIBU to keep maintenance for my DC and not put it in my "stepfamily" pot?

[iloveberries]

Ex left 4 yrs ago and has paid maintenance regularly and on time. I have always saved the maintenance as I work and don't need it to cover DC living expenses. My plan is to give to DC when older for deposit on house / uni / car unless I need it to support DC (eg. Redundancy / illness or similar)

Been with DP 2 yrs and are currently buying a house together. We will both be putting our earnings into "our" pot. However I feel that I should continue to save the maintenance for my DC into his account for the future but DP thinks it should come into "our" pot as we are sharing all our other income.

I have 1 DC and he has 2. They live with their mum and he pays maintenance accordingly. We know she doesn't need it for their living expenses but obviously don't know whether she saves that for them.

We will have bedrooms for all children in our new house and have his children here a lot so we will both contribute to upkeep for his 2 and my 1.

We never argue about money but this maintenance has become an issue. AIBU to want to keep saving it for my DC?

That's great. I'm glad it went well. All the best.

kristina - we haven't ironed out the details yet but I am happy That we will find something which works. Marriage has also been on the table for a while and we have discussed that in a very non romantic way () as "financial protection".

I feel safe. (And I am being overly cynical anyway given I've been through one divorce.)

Personally I think marriage as a " romantic gesture " is vastly over rated. It's primarily a legal contract which usually protects women and children.

Romance is lovely, but it won't pay the mortgage or university fees.

" cynical " is what men call smart women who think about their and their kids future. Please protect yourself legally and financially , one way or the other .

He is still doing better out of this though. Why should saving for his children come out of a joint pot? It isn't your duty to save for step children just because you are better with money than his ex.

I still think you are being screwed over here - savings for HIS DC are not your responsibility. Your responsibility for savings are for your DS and unborn baby. Savings for his DC should be coming out of his individual pot. His DC already have 2 parents who could save for them - why should they suddenly get a potential 3 parents saving for them? It's your DS and baby that will be disadvantaged here as they'll "only" have potentially 2 parents saving for them.

PS
It's ok to want to offer some support to his DC while they are DC, eg som joint money goes into say food, clothing, etc but you are not responsible to save for his DC's future.

Something to think about definitely.

Maybe for savings he should save for his 3 kids and I save for my 2... Might help stop his ridiculous food spending if he sees what I can save with a bit of pre planning!