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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To sell my wedding ring?

58 replies

Astarael · 06/09/2016 19:42

Divorced (outwardly amicable, inwardly very much not so).

I'm keeping my engagement ring for DD (currently 3) but am thinking about selling my wedding ring. Could do with the extra cash (no maintenance from ex). Extra info is that the wedding ring was made to fit my engagement ring which is quite unusual so cost £600 and scrap value is about 1/5 of that!

AIBU? I can't see that DD would want the engagement ring I'm keeping for her as an engagement ring so can't see that she'd want the wedding ring as a set. Or will she be upset in future that I sold the wedding ring?

OP posts:
PovertyPain · 06/09/2016 19:49

Sell them both. They aren't heredity bits of jewellery that gave been passed through the family, just reminders of a marriage gone wrong.

Arfarfanarf · 06/09/2016 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMargeSimpson · 06/09/2016 19:53

My mum gave me her wedding and engagement rings from my dad - they split when I was 5. They were given to me on my 21st birthday and I've done bugger all with them. They're not my taste, they don't fit and they hold no sentiment.

Sell them both - she won't care. She probably won't even think about it unless you choose to tell her!

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 06/09/2016 19:54

I sold mine and had a good night out with my best friend! Was very liberating!!

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 06/09/2016 19:59

If you're getting buttons for it, you may be as well holding onto it and using the gold for a remodelling job.

You never know, maybe you'll want to get DD a ring/pendant etc later on and the cost of new bullion is ££££££££.

If you supply your own gold, there's no new bullion cost which = savings to yourself.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 06/09/2016 20:01

Don't think I would want a reminder of my exh around my neck. He was a noose when we were married!!

Mari50 · 06/09/2016 20:02

I sold my wedding ring (and his), got enough to buy a nice pair of winter boots. I have kept my engagement ring though, I still love it and my DD has declared she wants it (the giver wasn't her dad, was divorced before I met him) She wants it for purely materialistic 'it's a sparkly ring' reasons. And that's fine.

Astarael · 06/09/2016 20:04

You know what I hadn't even considered selling them both! I'd just assumed everyone kept them for their daughters but you are so right Poverty

I may get more for it as part of a set. I'm having to have a month off work so trying to supplement my income when it drops down to SSP.

OP posts:
jayho · 06/09/2016 20:07

I sold my first Blush wedding ring back to the antique shop we bought it from. They very sweetly gave me a bottle of champagne as they would to a 'happy couple'.

I sold my second ring (and his) for the scrap metal value - still a healthy £250 ish - they had no sentimental value, he broke all his vows, just bits of tin.

Did you pay for your wedding ring? I didn't, anything you get is a bonus.

PovertyPain · 06/09/2016 20:11

Good luck for the future, OP, and I hope the prick catches himself on and starts supporting his child. Flowers

Astarael · 06/09/2016 20:41

Yeah ExH shat all over his vows too jayho I didn't directly pay for my ring but as I ended up paying off all his debts I feel I indirectly paid for it Grin

Thank you poverty I haven't posted on here really but I'm feeling I may start doing so. I need a safe place to vent I think!

OP posts:
crje · 06/09/2016 20:44

Sell both

My mother(divorced) kept her engagement ring & none of us wanted it.

MrsCaecilius · 06/09/2016 20:49

You could consider taking both rings and remodelling them into a piece of jeweller you'd wear? Depending on the stones in your engagement ring, maybe a pendent or some earrings? Jewellers can advise you. Then you get something new, two fingers at exH, and something your DD might like in the future?

PovertyPain · 06/09/2016 20:52

There are many women and a few men, on here, who will have been through the mill, when it comes to relationships. If you decide to start a post regarding your ex Dick Head plenty of people will be happy to help. Smile

GinIsIn · 06/09/2016 20:56

My parents divorced when I was very small and tbh I don't think I'd want my mums rings from a marriage that was a bit of a disaster. (Not saying yours was, theirs CERTAINLY was!) Equally I have DH's grandmother's ring. It's worth a load of money, but she and her husband hated each other so we ended up buying our own anyway!

MsJudgemental · 06/09/2016 22:15

Sell them both. Why would your daughter want a ring from an unhappy marriage?

Onlyonce · 06/09/2016 23:06

Personally I think sell them both. Buy her a nice ring for her when she is 18 or something.

I have my Nan's wedding ring. Married over 60 years. My Dp doesn't want to get married though so it will stay in a box and will be passed to my dd. I also have the pearls my nan wore on her wedding day so same thing will happen with those I think

StopMakingMeLogOn · 06/09/2016 23:13

For me the decision to sell or keep them would hinge on whether I still liked them (marriage aside). If I thought they were beautiful still then I would keep hold of them. Shame to sell something lovely for far less than it is worth. Otoh, if my taste in jewellery had changed in the time between choosing them and getting divorced and I now thought they were horrid then yes, I would sell them.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 06/09/2016 23:18

I really wouldn't want an engagement ring of a style that will be 30-odd years out of date foisted on me or my fiancee, especially if it is a reminder of my parents' marriage that didn't work out. It smacks a bit of 'there you go love, hope it brings you better luck than it did me.'

If you still like it, wear it on another finger. Otherwise get shut of both.

MsVestibule · 06/09/2016 23:47

Sell them both. If my parents had split up when I was young, it really wouldn't occur to me to expect her to have kept her engagement ring.

If my DH and I split up, I'd sell mine. They'd have no sentimental value to me, and I'd rather have the cash now than a constant reminder of a failed marriage sitting in my jewellery box.

Astarael · 06/09/2016 23:53

I would MrsC but I haven't the cash to do something like that at the moment. The financial pinch should be temporary so I should be in a position to get DD something nice in the future.

I do still like it Stop but unfortunately the memory of the man who gave it to me has tainted it far too much to wear it Sad

Dylan I was definitely not going to gift it to DD as an engagement ring! But your point is still valid as even as a piece of jewellery she may not like it and I hadn't really thought of it that way.

OP posts:
WanderingNotLost · 06/09/2016 23:55

Not completely relevant but I've always found it a bit odd that the DofC has Diana's engagement ring. That thing is a relic of a doomed marriage. I'd much rather have had the Queen Mum's!

HeddaGarbled · 06/09/2016 23:55

Why no maintenance?

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 06/09/2016 23:58

I always felt that, too, Wandering. I think the Duchess of Cornwall has the Queen Mother's.

Astarael · 07/09/2016 00:03

Yes wandering I've thought that too. But maybe he felt it was a way of involving his mum?

hedda I can't really defend myself in not persuing it - I don't want to get flamed though. Short version is that he says he can't afford to, he was very abusive to me, I'm still slightly afraid of him and unfortunately placate him to keep things 'easy' and 'amicable' for my DD. I know some people will disagree with that but mostly I manage fine - it's just that I've been signed off work that's causing this current financial issue.

OP posts:
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