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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sell my wedding ring?

58 replies

Astarael · 06/09/2016 19:42

Divorced (outwardly amicable, inwardly very much not so).

I'm keeping my engagement ring for DD (currently 3) but am thinking about selling my wedding ring. Could do with the extra cash (no maintenance from ex). Extra info is that the wedding ring was made to fit my engagement ring which is quite unusual so cost £600 and scrap value is about 1/5 of that!

AIBU? I can't see that DD would want the engagement ring I'm keeping for her as an engagement ring so can't see that she'd want the wedding ring as a set. Or will she be upset in future that I sold the wedding ring?

OP posts:
LikeDylanInTheMovies · 07/09/2016 00:07

Sorry Astra i should have read more carefully.

But I honestly don't think I'd want it in your daughter's position either on the grounds of what it connotes or the possibility that it isn't too her taste or that style has gone out of fashion by the time she gets to wear it. Given it isn't an heirloom and it has only unpleasant associations, I'd get rid.

RepentAtLeisure · 07/09/2016 00:16

I know I wouldn't have seen the point in being given a memento of my parents' dead marriage! Of course most girls will want a sparkly piece of jewellery if asked, but she won't think twice about it if not asked. If she does ask when she's older simply say the rings held negative associations after the divorce. If and when she gets engaged, she'll want her own ring. Sell them!

WankStainWasher · 07/09/2016 00:23

I took my wedding ring out to our shed, put it in a vice and smashed it to gold dust with big hammer! God that felt great! Sold my engagement ring because it had a decent diamond. Sell the rings OP and enjoy the money.

PterodactylToenails · 07/09/2016 01:25

Sell it. . I had a great grandmas wedding ring given to me when I was a kid, it was interesting to see how tiny her finger must have been but I ended up giving it to my mother who has kept hold of it. My mum always says that her jewellery will come to me but in all honesty it is not to my taste at all so I would rather she just sold it all and enjoyed the money while she is still here!

FrancisCrawford · 07/09/2016 04:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MermaidTears · 07/09/2016 06:15

I do actually understand your thoughts on passing something down, but an engagement ring from her parents failed marriage (especially when you think by the time she is grown up one or both of you could be re married/in long term relationship) it's an awkward reminder.

But that's just my opinion!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 07/09/2016 07:03

I'd sell both, for all the reasons stated above. Your DD won't miss somethingvshe never had and if she's only three now won't remember you wearing them. I've got my Granny's engagement ring, had it 30 years and never wear it, it's too delicate and doesn't suit me.

StopMakingMeLogOn · 07/09/2016 07:17

If you do decide to sell then it would he worth finding out what you'd get for the metal at one of those gold buying places(iirc they don't pay for the stones but take them off you anyway) them maybe try and sell it for more privately, as a nice set.

Oblomov16 · 07/09/2016 07:22

Most of my mums Jewellery is very old fashioned and has to be made into something that suits my tastes.
Just sell both now.

Oblomov16 · 07/09/2016 07:23

The one ring she had that I lived in my childhood, was stolen and I was gutted.

freshstart22 · 07/09/2016 07:35

I think that too wandering but of course William just wanted to have the memory of his mother there and (as a typical man) probably didn't think any deeper than that.

I wouldn't want to be given rings from doomed relationships. I'm funny like that. I once went to diamond factory which was fascinating. Apparently there is a famous diamond that now resides in a museum because any one who became the owner had terrible bad luck (think deaths etc).

freshstart22 · 07/09/2016 07:38

The Hope diamond its called. Google it!

Inertia · 07/09/2016 07:43

Agree with previous posters - sell both as a set. Firstly, you need the money to provide for DD now. Secondly, your ex sounds like the type of controlling dick that will demand the rings back at some point, and if you give in to placate him you will end up with neither the rings nor the cash value.

Your DD won't want them.

LadyB49 · 07/09/2016 09:05

Last year I took all my unwanted and broken gold jewellery and sold it for £400. This included my first wedding ring.

I had also taken my first engagement ring and was told he was only interested in the gold, the sapphire and 8 diamonds were of no interest. As he offered only £50 I refused. I had a jeweller' s valuation of £900 as a current retail purchase. I then went to a respectable auction room and was told the style was outdated and that they were offered similar styling every week, and I wouldn't get a lot for it compared to its value. It was a beautiful ring.

My friend of some 40 years was with me on both occasions. She had always loved this ring. As I drove home I fished out the ring and reached it to her.as a gift. She was overwhelmed and said she loved it but couldn't take something of such value. My reply was that I'd never wear it and it'd give me pleasure for her to have it. After tears (hers) she said she'd love to have it but she would feel better if I'd take £50 same as I'd previously been offered. Definitely no, it was a gift.
My friend accepted my ring but really wanted me to take something for it and eventually I took the £50.

She was quite overcome by my gesture and I will be forever happy that she has it rather than it lie in a box. She wears it regularly as a dress ring.

This, my best friend, saw me through my divorce, was a witness at my second very happy marriage, and is the person I could phone at 4am if I needed a shoulder. I'm very happy that she has it and enjoys it.

TheNaze73 · 07/09/2016 09:10

Your need is now. Sell them both

Phillipa12 · 07/09/2016 09:16

I sold my engaagement, wedding and eternity rings, well actually i exchanged them and had a ring made instead for my 40th birthday 😀

Balanced12 · 07/09/2016 09:20

Sell them and get on to CMS and let them sort it, its my unfortunate experience that those who don't want to pay maintainace are always skint'

Jizzomelette · 07/09/2016 09:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 07/09/2016 10:14

fresh I also wonder if it was felt that as they got engaged in the midst of a recession it would be seen as bad taste to be commissioning expensive jewellery hither and thither. Either way it is bloody hideous that engagement ring.

MardyKnickers · 07/09/2016 10:46

I sold my wedding and engagement ring (got about £150) took great delight in pissing every penny up the wall on one night out with my best mate. Also snogged some guy 10 years younger than me 👍

StopMakingMeLogOn · 07/09/2016 10:51

Kate's engagement ring has grown on me. I like it more than Pippa's anyway.

OP, I agree that you need to get the child support sorted. He is going to be a pita whatever you do, so you might as well get the support you are entitled to.

GingerbreadGingerbread · 07/09/2016 10:52

Sell them both she's 3 and she won't want an engagement ring from a failed marriage she'll want her own if she gets married.

YelloDraw · 07/09/2016 10:59

she probably won't even want them. Sell them and use the money now.

Cocochoco · 07/09/2016 11:11

My mum was always going to give me her old engagement ring. As a kid I loved it and wanted it partly because I had a lot of grief around the divorce. I was devastated when it was stolen from her house when I was in my 20s - and was even more upset when I discovered she didn't go to retrieve it when it was found (as this would have meant paying back the insurance company).

Now though I totally get why she wasn't so keen. I would never wear it anyway as the style was pretty old-fashioned.

If I were you I'd sell it now and be done with all the angst!

namechanger1981 · 07/09/2016 11:29

I have an engagement ring I want to sell. What's The best way to sell it?

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