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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not take DS to A&E

178 replies

AtSea1979 · 06/09/2016 19:20

His teacher said to get it looked at but I doubt they'd do anything.

DS might have broken his finger, it doesn't look bent, it's swollen and sore though, he can't straighten the end joint. I doubt A&E would do anything other than splint it which I can do. AIBU not to take him and sit there for hours?

OP posts:

GabsAlot · 07/09/2016 13:00

dont ask on a public forum then

TVWife · 07/09/2016 13:00

You did the right thing OP

WinterIsHereJon · 07/09/2016 13:18

No need to worry OP, I'm an accountant

umizoomi · 07/09/2016 13:43

You had a go at him because he didn't want them to relieve the pressure because it didn't hurt too much?

I have read it all now!

Lweji · 07/09/2016 13:54

Aren't you feeling better, though, knowing he doesn't have a broken bone?

The dragging out of bed or work are not really excuses not to have him checked. You had two opportunities to go to Minor Injuries or A&E between work and bed.

I do realise it's annoying, and I understand that it's a tough call sometimes, but you did have your doubts (that was your instinct) or you'd not have posted here, so, when in doubt, I do think it's best to check it.

Glad it's all fine. You can rest. Great.

Discobabe · 07/09/2016 14:27

It didn't require an A&E visit, as has now been proven. It's not hard to see why a&e gets clogged up with all the people here who'd go rushing off there for a bruised finger on someone who can still write, participate in PE and wasn't requiring pain relief.

SwichL10 · 07/09/2016 14:38

That nurse who said not much can be done as its the tip is absolutely wrong, was that before the X-Ray? DC's finger got caught in a door in the house, it looked just like your son's, a flake of bone had chipped off and she needed a wire put in.

rachyb1976 · 07/09/2016 14:41

My DS said he hurt his finger playing football, took him to St Johns Ambulance who said it was probably soft tissue injury! 10 days later it was still quite swollen, so went to A&E. Took one look at the xray & they said surgery! We're still having physio! Next time I'll go straight to A&E!!

Lweji · 07/09/2016 15:50

It didn't require an A&E visit, as has now been proven

Again, only proven because it got looked at properly...

For some reason they checked it with an X-ray and didn't send the child back just by looking at the finger.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/09/2016 16:01

AtSea - it is easy to say 'trust a parent's instinct' in 20:20 hindsight - but a parent's instinct is not always right.

Dh was acting on his instinct when he said that ds2's arm was not broken, following a fall. It was sore, but relieved by calpol, not swollen and not deformed - but it was still sore the next day, and he couldn't put pressure on it, so Dh took him to A&E, so they could x-Ray it and prove to ds2 that it wasn't bloody broken (dh's exact words).

Half an hour later he rings from the queue for the fracture clinic where ds2 was waiting to have his broken arm plastered.

His instincts were 100% wrong. Yours were right - this time.

Original poster

AtSea1979 · 07/09/2016 20:55

Fair point but there are politer ways of making a point (not you the other ones).

Yes the nurse said it before sending him for X-ray along lines of don't worry about leaving it so long I'm sure it'll be fine even if it's broken there's not a lot they do for tips of fingers... can't remember exact wording but along those lines when I said erm Monday eve.

Course I gave him what for, my first biscuits how lovely, why wouldn't I give him a stern word for refusing treatment? He can't straighten it because it's too swollen and therefore can't fasten his buttons, cut his food, make a drink etc. Who is going to do that? Maybe if he had the treatment he'd be moving it around and fine by now.

OP posts:

arranged · 07/09/2016 21:12

Fuck no, A and E is to be avoided at all costs.

Strap it up, give him a painkiller and if it's agony tomorrow take him then.

Fuck that, a&E is shit.

arranged · 07/09/2016 21:13

Plus if he's not in agonising pain, where's the harm is not going?

DS had a disclocation once and didn't get to hospital for 24 hours. Ok it hurt, but it didn't make much difference in the long run.

NotBadConsidering · 07/09/2016 21:22

It's not hard to see why a&e gets clogged up with all the people here who'd go rushing off there for a bruised finger

Exactly. A little tip for all the people being rude to the OP: if you ever go to A and E late in the evening or night and get asked "what was worrying you about the problem that's brought you here now?" you should be aware that the missing part is "...as opposed to tomorrow morning which would have been a much more sensible idea and less of a waste of my and your time".

mineofuselessinformation · 07/09/2016 21:27

'Maybe if he had the treatment he'd be moving it around and fine by now.'
Yes, and maybe if he'd gone sooner, he could have had the nail drilled and he would now be able to use his finger.....

Original poster

AtSea1979 · 07/09/2016 22:04

He refused to have it drilled so why would he have done it just because I dragged him and his sister out of bed?

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 07/09/2016 22:20

AtSea Look, just forget it. Dont try and explain or defend your actions because to a certain type of poster, it will all be your fault and I wouldnt be surprised if there had been a few who secretly hoped that it was serious just in order to say "THERE!! I told you so!"
FWIW, I think you did exactly the right thing, and I would also have been bloody pissed off that he refused treatment. But its him who is suffering, so hopefully if you remind him that he had had it drilled then he wouldnt be in so much pain, he will think twice next time [hollow laugh of hope over experience]

UterusUterusGhali · 07/09/2016 22:41

This is what misuse of the ED means.

People who don't like to make a fuss go untreated because they don't fancy a 5 hour wait behind people who have run out of their repeat meds or have toothache.

I had to beg someone recently with a potential PE not to leave the waiting room. It's madness!

Hope your boy is ok, OP.

stonecircle · 07/09/2016 22:53

Not sure how old your ds is op, but an average of 2 visits a year to A&E hardly seems excessive. As a mum of boys we've had our fair share of trips - some of which turned out to be nothing serious. Surely if there's any doubt you have it checked out?

We've had a few broken fingers and toes and, while they may not need much treatment other than strapping to the adjacent digit, it's important to have them checked out (I have a very misshapen toe which I ignored and which didn't heal straight).

As for being cross because he refused treatment!! Poor lad - I think I'd have fainted if someone suggested drilling through an already painful nail.

mineofuselessinformation · 07/09/2016 23:34

stone, it doesn't hurt and the pain relief is immediate if it's done soon enough - that was my point.
I've had a blackened nail and know several people who have. It's very painful.

conkerpods · 07/09/2016 23:40

I think you did the right thing OP.
I have been in Paeds A&E with my son (asthma so seen straight away) and seen parents leaving with their kids as they can't be arsed to wait!So,not ill enough for A&E then.

Dontlaugh · 07/09/2016 23:50

OP, your son needed assessment at the very least, if not treatment. My 3 sons have needed the same over the last 10 years. I've asked neighbours to mind, etc whilst I bring the afflicted to the GP/minor injuries/ED/X-ray etc.
Suck it up, it's what parenting entails. They need medical help, we help them access it.
His nail needed draining, you clearly created a scenario where he felt this was not an option. So he chose not to inconvenience you anymore and declined treatment. In my opinion, which of course is only an opinion.
I hope his finger is healing well.

mygorgeousmilo · 07/09/2016 23:55

Wow. Take him to bloody A&E, you should have gone straight after school! What if it is broken and because you couldn't be bothered if then sets in the wrong position? As other pps have said "I'm not a rush to A&E type person"... At all. But not being able to move quite an important body part. YABU

BathshuaSpooner · 07/09/2016 23:59

I feel for you, Op. I have one very dramatic child. We have had our share of slinking in and out of A&E's over the course of her childhood. It can be so very difficult to make that judgement call. In our case, I try to put myself in her shoes. If she tells me something really really hurts, I choose to believe her. I would hate to be in pain and not have my mum take me seriously.

Dontlaugh · 07/09/2016 23:59

I asked him to go to first aid and get it re dressed and get a second opinion. He didn't go because it was 'fine' until I told him I was taking dressing off then he went nuts (this is not unusual for him).
I'm not sure what age your son is, but I can't recall asking any of my 3 sons to ever get a "Second opinion". None of them are over 10.
Do you usually ask your children to question their HCPs by themselves or is it just in this case?

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