Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take DS to A&E

178 replies

AtSea1979 · 06/09/2016 19:20

His teacher said to get it looked at but I doubt they'd do anything.

DS might have broken his finger, it doesn't look bent, it's swollen and sore though, he can't straighten the end joint. I doubt A&E would do anything other than splint it which I can do. AIBU not to take him and sit there for hours?

OP posts:
Edenrose206 · 06/09/2016 22:13

What serin said. FGS, please take your son to get proper medical advice as soon as possible tomorrow morning. YABU. He is a child. My DH accidentally dropped a piece of heavy construction equipment on my hand, catching and crushing the tip of my finger. It looked like your dear son's...a crush injury, bruised and swollen. Four years later, the tip of my finger goes off at a strange angle... It was clearly broken. I was in stunning pain for weeks. Please help your DS by seeking professional medical advice. YOU are not a doctor!!

PointlessUsername · 06/09/2016 22:15

What was the point of the thread again?

Take him to have his finger looked at, if it turns out to be nothing great but at least get it looked at.

WankingMonkey · 06/09/2016 22:19

My thumb nail looked quite like that (but with a huge amount of blood and the nail actually being lose) when my sister jammed it in the door on purpose when I was about 13

It hurt like a bitch. Though that could well have been the actual nail being ripped out :S

Really, you should have taken him today. I would call 111 if I really could not go tonight...or definitely get a GP appointment first thing tomorrow (though I suspect GP will send you right to minor injuries/a+E too tbh)

Purplebluebird · 06/09/2016 22:19

I did that to my finger, much much worse actually, and didn't go to see anyone for 3 days, by which time it was so painful I couldn't sleep! I'd take him in to see someone in the morning.

WinterIsHereJon · 06/09/2016 22:20

Really hope this is a wind up. Poor, poor child if not. Wonder how bad you'd feel if there was lasting damage due to your stubbornness questionable parenting

April229 · 06/09/2016 22:24

I think you would be considered quite neglectful not taking your child for medical care if they may have broken a bone in their hand. Maybe call out of hours GP for advice?

LuluJakey1 · 06/09/2016 22:29

It looks swollen and discoloured - the skin not the nail. I would have it looked at at A and E definitely. He may have a haematoma that needs draining.

Bogeyface · 06/09/2016 22:32

FFS! Anyone giving the OP a hard time clearly has never had a Cry Wolf child. I have and let me tell you that sitting in A&E for hours because they have been triaged (quite rightly) as low priority, only to be told that the definitely broken ankle is a slight strain and is not even bad enough for a tubigrip, is not fun. Its fucking embarrassing and a waste of my time and more importantly, the HCPs time when they could be caring for someone who actually needs them.

So, when DD broke her collarbone and went on and on about the pain, I didnt believe her. Why would I? She had been in "absolute agony" so bloody often for what woud turn out to be a stubbed toe, that I assumed another exaggeration. When we finally went on Day 3 after school mentioned it, she crowed that I should have believed her and that she had suffered for 3 days because of me. I said that if she hadnt lied so bloody often then she would have been seen on Day 1. She pretty much stopped with "ITS PROBABLY BROKEN AND YOU DONT CAAARRRRE!!!!!!" crap after that, although she is still definitely officially dying whenever she gets a cold Hmm

OP, yes I think it needs looking at but I totally understand why you didnt immediately jump to. FWIW, I slammed my finger in a car door and it wasnt broken, but i did lose my fingernail which was rather nasty. And it fucking hurt like a bastard for a week or so.

WankingMonkey · 06/09/2016 22:34

FFS! Anyone giving the OP a hard time clearly has never had a Cry Wolf child.

You can see this injury though. Its not like banging an elbow and wailing about it being broken or anything.

Bogeyface · 06/09/2016 22:38

Yes you can, but the OP said that it didnt look that this morning so I can understand why she decided to watch and wait, especially during the first week of school.

My finger (actually it was my thumb) didnt discolour straight away either which is why I didnt see a doctor until a couple of days later when the pain was too bad to bear.

gamerchick · 06/09/2016 22:41

Personally I think it can wait until morning. However I would get it seem to because all that pressure under the nail will be hurting like a bastard in the morning if it isn't now. My son had a similar injury at school when his finger was crushed in a heavy school door at the hinge. It took 2 visits to hospital in the end until the nail fell off and he has a high pain threshold.

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 06/09/2016 22:48

To answer a few questions. No he didn't injury it on my watch. He injured it at a club and they bandaged him up and said its fine. I told the bandages off when I got him home because I wanted to be sure it was fine, it was so I put him to bed. The morning I checked my dressing, it has bled through a bit nothing concerning but DS refused to let me change it and promised me he'd let someone at school do it, he didn't, so I insisted on changing it when he got home. The bleeding had totally stopped as you can see from pics but finger is more swollen.
I started thread to get advice and I've been advised to get it looked at and I already said I will tomorrow. Why some people feel the need to be rude is beyond me. There's no excuse for bad manners and blatant rudeness.
No I'm not a troll, I've been on MN for over ten years and usually find it a lovely supportive place, as a single parent I don't have a DH/P to say take a look at this what do you think we shall do etc so I rely on people here to have that conversation with, that doesn't mean I'm going to do exactly what someone says without questions.

OP posts:
Original poster
AtSea1979 · 06/09/2016 22:49

DS doesn't have a high pain threshold and hasn't needed calpol since he had a dose at bedtime yesterday so hopefully that's a good sign.

OP posts:
lu9months · 06/09/2016 22:54

im a doctor with a son who plays rugby. I've been caught out when he hurt his finger during a match and i said 'oh I'm sure its fine, can't waste A and Es time with this' - then relented, and sure enough it was broken. they did just finger splint him which i could have done, but they do need to do an X-ray because if the fracture is over the growth plate it can alter the growth of the finger. sorry, you had better go. a walk in centre with X-rays is probably ok

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 06/09/2016 22:56

Ok will go tomorrow and update

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 06/09/2016 23:01

He is doing better than me then! My car door injury hurt like an absolute fucker, and I have given birth 6 times!

I am sorry that some people have seen fit to be so nasty to you, to question your parenting ability and be downright rude. Must be nice to be right all the time eh? The rest of us just do the best we can and sometimes we make mistakes (I refer you to the collarbone in my pp!). Try not to take it to heart, some people seem to get off on being self righteous cunts. Flowers

Discobabe · 06/09/2016 23:03

I think you've acted perfectly reasonably Atsea. It was fine, then it looked worse and you were unsure so asked, consensus is get it checked, you're going tomorrow. I doubt his finger will fall off overnight. Let us know how you get on.

Dontlaugh · 06/09/2016 23:06

Teacher said get it checked, you're getting it checked.
However, re nail, if it's black then there's a limit of when they can drain that time wise. Too late and they leave it and nail falls off. Sooner, they can drain the blood and save nail.
Fracture issue more important so hopefully that can be clarified also.
Hopefully pain is at a minimum, and he's dosed up as much as possible.

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 06/09/2016 23:07

Thank you, obviously if he was awake and in pain I might consider a trip out tonight but as he was fast asleep within 15 mins I assume it wasn't hurting him that much, just when I ask to look at it then he screams blue murder when I'm stood 3 ft away!

OP posts:
Original poster
AtSea1979 · 06/09/2016 23:11

Ouch at the collarbone, hence so many trips to A&E with him, always think what if this time he actually has hurt himself. Never has (phew). Though there was a time when he cut his forehead in the garden and screamed the place down, I ignored him for about 2 mins then I caught sight of him through the window, it looked like a murder scene. Felt awful for ignoring him. Though to be fair once I cleaned him up it was a tiny scratch on his head, it just bled a lot. So many times I've told him about the boy who cried wolf.

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 06/09/2016 23:26

so what?

who cares if he exaggerates we all used to do it-doesnt mean this time isnt real

and if your so convinced youre right why u asking a bunch of strangers

Lweji · 06/09/2016 23:33

When I cracked my elbow I was fine if it was still. It just hurt, a lot, when I moved it.

Bogeyface · 06/09/2016 23:57

I'll tell you why it matters gabs

Two reasons.

One, because when you have taken a child with no real issue to A&E its YOU who is judged and not them, it embarrassing to say the least.

Two, the reason you are being judged is because of the time and resources that have been wasted for a non existent injury that would have been put to much better use on an actual sick or hurt person.

I wonder how "So what?" you would be if your genuinely sick child had to wait an extra hour because of a child who had nothing really wrong but was there "just in case". I have done both of the above and neither are experiences that I wish to repeat.

GreatFuckability · 07/09/2016 00:05

there is no way i'd be taking a sleeping child out of bed, to take a child who isn't in visible pain to hospital for a possibly broken finger. if its broken, it'll still be broken tomorrow.

SatansLittleHelper2 · 07/09/2016 00:32

My brother was off work for 4 months and need 2 ops on 'just a broken finger' If the second op hadnt worked his career would have been screwed (( he's an engineer and does lots of fiddly stuff ))

Yabu btw.

Swipe left for the next trending thread