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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not hard to adhere to uniform rules

804 replies

Puzzledconfusedandbewildered · 06/09/2016 16:49

Yet again in the fail a school has had protests from parents (and police presence) due to 50 students being turned away on day 1 for breaching the uniform rules

Aibu to think the rules are the rules and if you want your child to attend that school you adhere to them?

OP posts:
simiisme · 07/09/2016 18:59

YANBU
Send your kid to a school that doesn't have high uniform standards if you're not prepared to follow the rules. Schools that enforce rules generally have good discipline; the children behave better and achieve more. The parents in this case were teaching their children that it's acceptable to kick off if you don't get your own way. Great life lesson.

tiggytape · 07/09/2016 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 07/09/2016 19:02

Maybe I am a bit old fashioned but plain black shoes to me means basic black leather lace ups, not ones decorated with silver/gold bits or black trainers. Is it that hard to work out? It seems a lot of the angst seems to be an exercise in "look at me"

a7mints · 07/09/2016 19:03

I am genuinely shocked at the number of parents on here who think their children are 'too special' to have to learn how to conform to school rules. Teach your child to 'be an individual' by way of their talents and attributes, rather than wearing fashion shoes!

BlackeyedSusan · 07/09/2016 19:04

not fussed about fashion shoes. would like school to accomodate shoes that she needs for her disability.

Sparklyglitter · 07/09/2016 19:05

I work in a school, which recently went to wearing a blazer. All the boys look fantastic!
There were a few boys not wearing the correct uniform on the first day, but as sensibly instructed by the head teacher any boys not in the correct uniform were to be spoken to and dealt with on an individual basis.
It's important that pupils turn up to school clean, smart and in the correct uniform - they will have to do this at most jobs in their lives and that won't improve their ability to do a job just like wearing a uniform doesn't facilitate learning. However it does help them to understand the importance of appearance and it helps to avoid bullying because of the latest fashions.

Arseicle · 07/09/2016 19:05

Send your kid to a school that doesn't have high uniform standards if you're not prepared to follow the rules

Ridiculous. Remove your child from their school because a new wanker head came in, or some fucker turned it into an "academy" and changed all the school uniform rules since last year...genius idea Hmm
And send them...where exactly? Like England is groaning with decent schools run be people not obsessed with whether the kids shoes are matt or patent fucking black.....

Gottagetmoving · 07/09/2016 19:06

I've seen some illogical statements in my time, but that has to come near the top in terms of illogicality. What you need in order to develop an attitude of respect and order is sensible rules. Dreaming up petty rules and imposing them strictly only results in you and your organisation being despised, and rightly

But a Uniform rule is not petty.
Respect and order comes from boundaries and consistency. It's not a 'dreamed up' rule.
All pupils know where they stand and all are equal.
To listen to some of the people on here you would think their human rights were being ignored and they were being abused.

Arseicle · 07/09/2016 19:07

I am genuinely shocked at the number of parents on here who think their children are 'too special' to have to learn how to conform to school rules

I'm genuinely shocked that THAT is what you took from these posts. Did you bother to actually READ any of them?

annielouise · 07/09/2016 19:08

It's an underperforming school. I can see what the head teacher's thinking was but I think he's been too heavy handed. I also think if the socioeconomic make-up of the pupils was higher he might have handled it differently; i.e. perhaps been less dictatorial. School is about a partnership between teachers and parents. Giving out orders without listening to reason on some of the cases won't do him any favours long term - e.g. the kid who had had an accident and a hip replacement; there's always room for rules to be flexible. Also the girl in suede shoes. As far as I could see the uniform list called for plain black shoes. It didn't specify the material (I think the uniform list has now had more detail added). The head told her dad black leather shoes only - well suede is a type of leather, as is patent! If you want exactness you have to be a bit more specific than the school has been.

Matthew Tate has backed himself into a corner. He can't back down now. I don't agree with kids missing lessons over stuff like this. I thought most of them looked smart "enough". Any things you wanted to iron out you could have done a bit more slowly over time with very clear instructions of what you want in terms of shoes.

I just don't think being this inflexible will endear him to the parents who have already spent money, in some cases leaving themselves short. He'll win the argument but I don't think it a good idea to win under these circumstances. To get people on board and have them respect you, you have to be a bit more clever than he has been and frankly while I agree with uniform and totally agree with respecting teachers and rules being rules on the whole etc I don't like how he's gone about it and I've ended up with the feeling he's a bit of an arse, which is never what you want your kids' head teacher to be. But he wanted to win at all cost and lay down the law so he's brought it on himself in my view. I can't imagine the governors or the local authority will be best pleased with the goings on.

Arseicle · 07/09/2016 19:09

Are people really struggling this hard to understand the difference between A sensible uniform code and a ridiculously over the top uniform code with ridiculous over the top sanctions?
It's not that hard folks.

Busybusybust · 07/09/2016 19:10

There are four high schools in my city. I can tell the pupils from the best one (which coincidentally is Catholic) from behind, such is the high standard of their uniform requirements.

I honestly believe that the standard of a school, and it's discipline, starts with uniform.

Gottagetmoving · 07/09/2016 19:12

No-one gets bullied because their jumper is the wrong shade of black, or their hair an inch too long. And even if they did, you deal with the bullies, not tell the victims to change their clothes

Actually, in that school, the kids not wearing the correct uniform were bullying and mocking the kids who were, including younger kids.

The Head has made the bullies conform to uniform. He has not made the victims change anything.
If you think bullies don't pick on other kids because of what they do or don't wear, you are very naive.

MrsSparkles · 07/09/2016 19:13

When I was just going into sixth form we had a new headmaster who instantly had a clampdown on what we were wearing. My parents appeared to be very supportive telling me it was tough and to get on with it.

I found out a couple of years later, they and various other parents had actually arranged a meting with the head to discuss with him that he was perhaps being slightly heavy handed. Surely a much more appropriate way to deal with it.

Balletgirlmum · 07/09/2016 19:15

When dd began year 7 there were 2 shoes literally, that fitted her & supported her rolling feet.

It was a black start rite Mary Jane shoe. Luckily one was the plainest shoe ever designed (the other had primary school style flowers on)

Schools need to be aware of what is actually available for parents to buy.

The absolute worst school in my area (my local catchment one) has the poshest, smartest uniform ever.

a7mints · 07/09/2016 19:19

Black eyed Susan- you need a letter from a professional to explain why your child needs different shoes.My friends DD has different problem and she is allowed to wear DM boots because that is what her consultanyt advises.They cannot go against medical dictat

Arseicle · 07/09/2016 19:19

If you think bullies don't pick on other kids because of what they do or don't wear, you are very naive

I'm not naive, I'm saying that bullies will pick on what is available, and should be dealt with for their bullying, not by changing what they are bullying about.

Can someone tell me how the shinyness of someones shoes can affect their learning at all? Other than some power mad fool not letting them do any learning because he wants them to be less shiny.

ButterfliesRfree · 07/09/2016 19:25

I don't think it's unreasonable either.
Follow the uniform rules or find a school where kids can wear what they like. Simple as and that's what we should tell the parents involved. Personally I'd prefer a school that had very set rules. At least you know where you stand.

pleasemothermay1 · 07/09/2016 19:29

Just saw the news on tv and one girl who's mum was moaning was wearing purple and balck Nike air Max's 🙁

HelenaDove · 07/09/2016 19:29

annielouise i agree. You have said it more eloquently than my DH did earlier.

His words were "They are not the " type" of parents who that head wants sending their kids to his school

Arseicle · 07/09/2016 19:31

Follow the uniform rules or find a school where kids can wear what they like. Simple as and that's what we should tell the parents involved

Except its not simple at all, is it? Are their any schools near where you live where kids can wear what they like? I'm guessing not.

Beccaboo2134 · 07/09/2016 19:32

My daughter has just got a cast off her leg after 9 weeks. Broken tibia and fibula. She is wearing all black trainers and a walking boot With black leggings (trousers are rubbing her sensitive skin where it hasn't had air for 9 weeks. School immediately picked up on the fact she has black leggings on and tried to say it wasn't allowed. I said ok I will take her home then. They soon changed their tune. Schools won't keep this up forever as their previous attendance will go down.

MetalPetal86 · 07/09/2016 19:33

The socks reminds me of Arian Mole and his red socks gang with Nigel and Pandora.

Mountain/molehill???

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/09/2016 19:33

You missed one out, Tiggy: "But they're designer!! (Insert name of celeb) wears them, so they must be okay" Grin

I can't help wondering if those who insist the HT's being ridiculous and losing respect noticed the reports that most of the parents are right behind him - certainly they've somehow managed to source the few simple items requested

It all reminds me of the old joke about the fond parents at the parade: "Ooooo look - they're all out of step except our Billy!!"

blinkowl · 07/09/2016 19:33

YABU.

DS's school has a voluntary uniform.

In practice everyone wears it, but on the odd day someone's school shoes go missing in the morning or they rip their only clean pair of trousers on the morning and have to go in in jeans, no one bats an eyelid because the school wants to priorities the fact they're there to learn.

What is it teaching them other than to obey rules for rules' sake? Small-minded, authoritarian bullshit! I would much prefer my DC's school to be interested in what's going on inside their heads not how they look.

Sending DC home because they're wearing the wrong clothes is petty in the extreme.

Starting a post supporting it is another level!

Free your mind from this bullshit - it's meaningless, seriously!