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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Start *A* FOURTEENTH Thread That No One Responds To?

999 replies

carbcraver · 05/09/2016 21:22

Welcome to 14.....

We got spooky 13 out the way. Now business as usual.

Don't worry about making sense, we rarely do!!

A poem from Portia

Mother Nature don't build straight lines
We're broken moulds in a grand design
We look a mess but we're doing fine
We're card carrying lifelong members
Of the Union of different kinds

Crack on and enjoy!!

To Start *A* FOURTEENTH Thread That No One Responds To?
OP posts:
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39
VanillaSugar · 06/09/2016 12:34

The northern schoolkids are lovely and I miss them soooo much Sad

The ones round here are vile. In fact, everyone's vile. They are self- centred, self-absorbed, selfish, competitive nasty people who are incredibly wealthy, but only because they shit on people every fucking day. Cunts Angry

VanillaSugar · 06/09/2016 12:37

Fucking autocorrect - schoolMUMS! And the kids, of course.

Midlands/Rutland fucking wankers.

See? I've had a lovely summer - all calm, and serene and nice, full of lovely people and calmness. One school drop off later and I'm ready to stab somebody in the eye with a compass.

peachmama · 06/09/2016 12:45

better - you are right of course . He sounds just like me! Grin.

Oh vanilla Flowers. Have you moved not too long ago?....well long enough obviously to know they are all bastards!. Is there any way of meeting some like-minded souls?. Horrible to think of you feeling like this twice a day for X long!. I'm sending you a hug. I hope you find the nice folks - there must be some there.

Now I really am wondering what it will be like when it's my turn!. Oh I don't mind if everyone hates me, I'm frankly not that keen on myself for much of the time so I quite understand. I have always been a bit marmite!. Or perhaps....olives?.....you know- something you have to try more than once/get to know and then you might quite like it?. I think I may have resting bitch face Grin. Once you get past that I'm fluffy as a lamb.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 06/09/2016 12:50

vanilla My DS is going to the 'rough' school in the area. We have two state schools here, one 'naice' and one referred to as 'rough'. I wanted him to go to the nice school, but when I visited and met the Special Needs coordinator, I wasn't that keen on her attitude. Visited the other school, and they were far more accepting and enthusiastic.

I remember when the Montessori Mums were discussing school placements, and I told them which school DS was going to. They gave me horrified looks, and said "Oh no! You didn't get your first choice?". I had to smile.

Cannot fault Montessori though. They were brilliant. We received a 'good luck' card from them this morning, which made me a bit....(fans face and 'gathers')

MyDressIsInferiorBlue · 06/09/2016 13:14

jess I actually chose the widely mixed intake school, rather than the naice one. I've not yet had any school mum issues but there really is the whole range of types. We have every type of background from surgeons, who often have to send the nanny, and high flying business men/women, to shelf stackers, to never worked a day in their life. Good mix of two parents, step parents and single parent families. True cultural mix too.

MyDressIsInferiorBlue · 06/09/2016 13:15

Oh and jess the widely mixed intake school is not my catchment school at all. The naice one is.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 06/09/2016 13:20

blue. Grin 'Widely mixed intake' sounds far better than my choice of word! But they have already proved to be bloody brilliant, whereas the 'naice' school didn't seem to have a clue about ASD. They both have 'outstanding' Ofsted reports.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 06/09/2016 13:23

peach. Loved that post! Completely relate. I have terrible RBF, but I'm actually very nice and kind (if a little shy).

I know one mum from years ago, but don't want to be clingy. Oh god. It begins....

VanillaSugar · 06/09/2016 13:25

I've been here two years. I've resigned myself to the fact that I won't find a local friend. I still go back to Yorkshire a lot. The Yorkshire school mums are shocked that I don't have any friends as we were a very sociable family, as is DS.

My theory is that sound here, the local mums gave up high flying careers to be SAHM, the husbands work in London and stay in their flats & the mums are lonely, frustrated and worried that their DHs are having mid-week affairs. The only way to make themselves feel better is to look down on everyone else, cut them up in the carpark and be spiteful about each other. I tried to get DS to start at another school this term but he didn't like that place either.

VanillaSugar · 06/09/2016 13:28

I've never experienced anything like this before. I don't think it's normal, so you both should be OK.

MyDressIsInferiorBlue · 06/09/2016 13:33

jess I felt the "widely mixed intake school" was more equipped to deal with every eventuality. They have good support in place for those who require more challenging work and for those who are struggling with something. They have far better understanding of the impact of issues outside school (DS has some issues due to the DV he witnessed) and have a lot in place to provide additional support.

The "naice school" can support those who want more challenging work but not really those who struggle, because parents would generally pay for a tutor rather than school have to step up. They also have no support systems in place for children dealing with issues outside of school. They "don't get that type of family" - smarmy cow.

Bettercallsaul1 · 06/09/2016 13:35

Is your DS happy at school, Vanilla? Does he have a friendship group? It's one thing to resign yourself to the mothers being obnoxious as long as DS is doing ok.

Bettercallsaul1 · 06/09/2016 13:37

It sounds horrendous for you.

MyDressIsInferiorBlue · 06/09/2016 13:41

vanilla that's crapFlowers

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 06/09/2016 13:48

blue Spot on.

Vanilla. What a fucked up place where someone as smart, funny and kind as you struggles to make friends. We luffs you. I suspect your theory is correct. All like tightly coiled springs, unable to connect with anyone.

PortiaCastis · 06/09/2016 13:53

Vanilla sounds like an awful cliquey place Flowers

Bettercallsaul1 · 06/09/2016 13:55

The trouble is that, sometimes in these situations, your inner qualities never get to be revealed. The wrong accent or even the wrong "look"can be enough to keep newcomers outside the gilded circle.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 06/09/2016 13:57

I got lucky at Montessori. While pretty much all the mums were both middle-class and married (am neither) they were fairly friendly. There was one who was a bit braggy and snotty, but fortunately our DSs never played together.

AverageGayLad · 06/09/2016 13:58

I'm awake!

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 06/09/2016 13:59

better. Agree. Also doesn't help when they're all chatting about 'wine o'clock'. I don't talk about my crap, because it's a bit like being the black fairy at the party, so instead have to nod and smile.

Bettercallsaul1 · 06/09/2016 14:01

Hi AGL! You've haven't much to catch up with... that's a lie

AverageGayLad · 06/09/2016 14:08

I get odd looks when talking sometimes cause I've moved around so much that my accent is a right blend.

Bettercallsaul1 · 06/09/2016 14:14

People move around so much these days that a different accent is not a problem in itself. Its the "value" placed on the accent that makes the difference between acceptance and rejection. It's still all about class and similarity in Britain.

AverageGayLad · 06/09/2016 14:17

It's about 10% posh, 40% northern, 25% german and 25% camp gayness Grin

MyDressIsInferiorBlue · 06/09/2016 14:22
Grin