I've had enough of my kids...

[LostTiredSad]

I'm so tired I feel like crying. I try to think if it's just our family that is like this but I'll list out things they've done today and how I'm now at breaking point:

Dd1 (8) spilt Cheerios all over the kitchen floor and left it there for me to clear up. Didn't think that she should brush it up.

Ds (4) constantly hitting his little sister (2) and then running away or taking her things and holding them up high whilst she screams. Or crying for no apparent reason.

Dd2 threw a small toy into the toilet.

In between all of this, they are constantly doing things to make a mess in the house. I can't follow them around the house all the time, but the minute I'm doing something, there'll be paper all over the floor or today, ear buds all out of the pot and everywhere. They scream and make horrible animal type noises all the time. The moment I take them out ds will find something to cry or moan about. We haven't been to the park in 4 weeks because last time dd2 took out my cards from my purse and threw them under a tree which I had to go back and find. The time before that ds had a cry and moan because he had sand in his fucking shoes. He will ALWAYS find something to cry about.

I feel like we're a bunch of animals fresh out of the jungle. It's been like this all summer. I constantly shout. I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to be nice to them. I'm always angry, and even they know this. I remember when I used to talk to them nicely but they have never listened to me. I feel like a dog barking all the time. I need to change.

I've gone off chocolate and haven't eaten any for a few months. I used to enjoy an Aero or galaxy. Do you think that has anything to do with it?

Could be, Lost!

I'm quite partial to the but not much on or .

I hear what you are saying
It's important to remember that you are raising children with brilliant strong personalities and an ability to be adults who will seize life with both hands and not be scared to voice their opinions. Quiet and tidy children would be very boring indeed.
That's what I tell myself anyway. But I've been where you are these holidays when we've had bad days. I've been shouty at times, but very loving at others. Don't feel guilty for being shouty as long as it isn't extreme - surely it will not happen as much as they get older, and as long as it is mixed with a healthy dose of love and attention. Are you actually angry or just really really frustrated? I bet you're a fab mum and just a bit exhausted by the holidays.

I don't drink so chocolate or coke is my only go-to for destressing! Have had quite a bit of coke this summer (I mean the black fizzy pop not the other stuff!)

lovely I know what you mean. They still come back to me for hugs and kisses and say sorry. Then my ds normally makes me sing a special song I have for him to show him I accept his apology. I feel so guilty after I've shouted. It's wrong. I need to change it. And my 4 year old tells me not to shout and why I don't say "please" when I ask them to do something. ...I don't know if he's just cheeky or absolutely right. Probably both.

You are not alone. Mine are 12 11 and 7. I like having them off but I can't wait for tomorrow now. They are all pushing buttons.
Mine also complain I shout, I remind them that this is after I have asked them very nicely for the first 4 times! It gets easier. I wouldn't go back to having mine the ages of yours - much better when they are more reasonable.

4 years old is the most difficult age I've encountered so far, my DD (also 4) will cry and scream for any given purpose. Including "this tag is itchy", "I can't sleep because I want it to be morning", "I want to wear my wellies (in the boiling heat)", "I don't want to be quiet".

She will wake baby DS on purpose so she doesn't have to be quiet anymore and is basically a little shit. A very emotional little shit. But what I always do when I end up shouting (which is also a lot ) is think right this is exactly how DD felt when she was screaming before and try and relate to her even though it gets so tiring.

You aren't a bad mum and I need to change as well, my DD says I have a dinosaur voice It also sounds like you need more input from your DP and a bit of time for yourself

for you op.

Let me assure you you are NOT alone.

My 8 year old sat on the floor and pissed himself today because he was laughing so much, then ran to the toilet dripping wee along the way, he regularly spills cereal everywhere and sometimes steps in it too, he leaves mucky handprints everywhere and puts his dirty socks back in his drawer when I send him to clean his room.

He also makes random noises that sound like a hyena is being murdered.

I have a baby that keeps us awake all night and is just a general nuisance.

I can get very shouty and not want to leave the house.

I decided to turn over a new leaf and not shout because it gets me nowhere. I'm trying to relax a bit more and not worry about mess.

I try to take a big deep breath before I raise my voice while I think of a better reaction.

I also now aim to get out the house every day, telling ds what's going to happen beforehand helps.

Parenting is so hard but I try to remember that they will only be mine for a short time so I might as well try to enjoy it as much as I can..

Do some reward charts, and do one for yourself! Go through it with the kids in a ..... this is how we're all going to be happier... Way, that you know you've been shouting a lot, and you're sorry, you'll get a sticker for every day of not shouting, and they'll get one for... Tidying up after themselves, getting dressed nicely, being kind to each other, whatever.

I hear you though op, mine are more than ready to go back to school tomorrow, and I'm going to be doing a little jig of glee when I wave them off!

I love mine but wanted to scream at them all to fuck the fuck off today. I may have shouted that they are all terrible.

I actually cried at dinner.

I'm not a bad parent, they are not bad kids, it's just really really hard to look after children for weeks on end.

When I was growing up my three would have spent most of the day playing out, my mum would make lunch and see us back again for tea for days on end. We now have to entertain them so much more. Mine do play out a bit but there aren't many kids out to play with.

You are not alone.

That said to click them into behaving better the very best advice I have had (and when I remember to follow works) is 'ignore the bad, praise the good'

I have an ongoing battle with my children and their bedroom at the moment. I go in tidy beds, make sure there's nothing on the floor. I'm pregnant and hate bending over. Turn my back and its a shit pit again. My youngest is a lazy sod and wont help tidy so my poor eldest ends up helping me most of the time.

I think I have died and woken up on another planet. That would drive me demented, too. Cheerios left on the floor, tick, credit cards lost in a public place, tick, fighting, squabbling, not listening, tick, whining, tick.

I think it's just a case of needing to go back to school-itis. I am the same. I have a lot of low level stuff going on but it grinds you down and I also have much higher level stuff going on to put me in the wrong mood to deal with the low level stuff. Be kind to yourself, even if others aren't. You are not alone.

You aren't doing anything wrong. I have actually felt a pang that the school holidays are over. Mine are 11 and 13. When they were between 3 - 10 I remember knocking on my neighbours door to apologise for MY shouting every summer holiday.
They used to pull all the cushions off the sofa to make dens and I would freak out at the mess because I'm not habitually tidy so adding to mess gives me the rage.
Its very very hard at the age yours are at. I have two impeccably behaved boys now (almost) and we actually have fun together as opposed to surviving each day

Another mention for the book calmer, happier easier parenting I read the first section last weekend and had a better week too. I also have three, the eldest dc have just turned 11 and 9, the youngest is 5 so they are a bit older than yours and I remember 4 being a particularly difficult age, but I have been tearing my hair out on occasion recently, it is hard. My 9 year old in particular has responded really well to me noticing good behaviour etc, as reccommended in the book. I have been trying to cut back on screen time which is eye opening! I have also been giving the children more responsibilities which seems to be working. It hasnt all been plain sailing - there has been some shouting from me so I am going to re read chapter 1 tomorrow.

Definitely screen time. I've just banned it for the second time and, yes, it does help!

Incidentally, my eldest is 12 and, contrary to expectations, it has just got harder again with pre teen tantrums galore.

Shouting makes mine more hyper & it takes them ages to calm down. It must be hard with 3 and the different ages etc.
No answers really but we found DS responds to marbles in a jar - can earn them for being good but lose them from being a pain. They get to choose rewards e.g. 10 marbles is a trip to the shop for a packet of sweets and so on up to 100. Just small rewards like a DVD film night with popcorn.
Kids are lively and noisy - oh and messy so it doesn't sound like yours are any different from anyone elses.
Hope next week gets better.

lost I'm thrilled mine are back at school this week. The house is destroyed and I think we're a school hols closer to a sibling violence induced A&E trip. Had a couple of close calls in the last week.

Mine throw crap everywhere and mostly refuse to clear it up. TV / tablet bans result in meltdowns for ages. Reward charts were torn up. And so on.

I've booked us into go ape tomorrow because I know it's the only way to stop them fighting and keep us all happy. I'm a working lp and I just need a day without refereeing. If they want to fight up a then good luck to them.

Give it a week and I bet you feel more human . I've said before that once the holidays are over I can feel my brain again.

Oops meant to say 'fight up a tree' .

I could write your post OP. I have 3 dcs. 7,5 and 2 yo. My kids sound exactly like you. It's crazy. During bedtime tonight I literally felt like j wanted to lie down in s dark room with no noise. My 3 are all very loud children. They are also very tired at the mo due to all the late nites so almost constantly whingey.
I have mostly lost it with them and felt angry lots of days. But the last 2 days have been a bit better.
It is relentless. Do anything to help yourself. I am a better mum when I'm out the house with them so I have to do that a lot. Ask for help, get someone to take 1 of them. Do anything to make it a bit easier.
But like I said to my dh tonight when he said 'I'm not cut out for this' we have no choice, they are ours anf we love them.

Funny how many of us feel like we are not cut out for this!

Oh Lost I'm just adding my name to the list of campers outside the school gates.
It's such a horrid feeling when it seems that every sound that comes out of your mouth is shouting at them isn't it.

Definitely choose your battles, I don't pick anything up until they've gone to bed. It'd be easier herding cats. Let them play in mess.
Agree with trying to get at least one of them on side too.
With regards to the spilt cereal etc- I'd say (to mine) well if you can't clear it up like a big girl, you don't get food out of the kitchen again. Nor do you get to do insert big girl fun activity if you're too young and helpless.

I just also wanted to say that you sound like a lovely mum - no doubt your parents felt equally frustrated.
As someone else said up thread, things wash over kids. I bet you got bollocked but have forgotten no one is perfect, be kind to yourself

Not read this book myself but my friend told me about it and somehow the title stuck with me! www.amazon.co.uk/French-Children-Dont-Throw-Food/dp/0552779172

You are not on your own! Most of my friends with small DC are desperate for school to start again. I can't wait! The only people I know who are sad about it are either super mums who love having their kids with them the whole time or have kids starting school for the first time. I have a 3 and a 5 year old.

They are generally ok but have been awful this last week and am so sick of conflicting advice for the best thing to do. Don't have time to read a million books and just need a coherent disclipline strategy. Reward charts have no effect whatsoever on mine... It is absolutely normal to be desperate for school to start again, especially with 3 children

You poor thing. now you know why some animals eat their young!

Seriously, loads of parents can't wait for their kids to go back to school. 3 kids is exhausting. My friend who has 3 used to end up in the managers' offices at supermarkets having cups of tea and sympathy because she would regularly cry!

Now they are all really successful young people with degrees.

I would say perhaps to try and lead things rather than respond. Watch a few supernanny programmes.

I have just dropped my 17 year old off to school... Can I shout yes yes thankyou God

She's great but anymore 'can i have a lift and a tenner' 'omg mom why do you need to vaccine my room right now' oh and endless Jeremy Kyle plus friends eating me out of house and home.

Hope you feeling better today op. You sound like a great mum. In my view the worst parents are those who always think they are right and have no insite.