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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Update on Entitles Neighbour

75 replies

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 02/09/2016 14:52

I don't know how to link to it or find it, but my neighbour basically said she couldn't help me/DH out with a hospital appointment (long time in advance), but then asked me to have her dog (no notice), a few days after surgery.

Haven't seen her since, or heard the dog (Caramel) in the back garden.

She just pulled into her drive as I was pulling in after picking up my DD.

I didn't say anything but she was very icy and said "He's had to go to kennels" and then as she went in through her front door she said "I'm finding this very difficult".

OP posts:

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 02/09/2016 16:48

Thumb wasn't that Stratters at her surgery and the woman drove one of those big Humvee type vans?

Abraiid2 · 02/09/2016 16:48

Some people are just not unselfish enough for dog ownership.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/09/2016 16:53

SanDiego - can't remember exactly who it was, but you could well be right about it being Stratters, yes.

Groovee · 02/09/2016 16:55

I remember your post! She needs to get a grip!

zen1 · 02/09/2016 17:02

Bloody hell, OP, you are sounding remarkably calm living next door to that! I would be seething. Wishing you the best of luck for your next surgery .

Kr1stina · 02/09/2016 17:09

OPI think it's very inconsiderate of you to have your surgery at such an inconvenient time. I'm sure if you had explained to you medical team that you needed to look after the neighbours dog, they would have rearranged it.

Some people are just so selfish .

BTW your neighbours sounds just like my mother , and she has narcissistic personality disorder. You can google it, there's lots out there .

And before some arse comes along and asks, no I'm not a pyschiatrist

PS sorry about bastard disease and having to have op redone

Original poster

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 02/09/2016 17:09

Zen, I am so very very lucky that all my other neighbours are just lovely.
I don't have the inclination to be angry. It would be like drinking poison and expecting her to die. It aint gonna happen.

She's taken on the interest of a bit of a scientific observation for me at the minute " The observed behaviours of the common coiffured batshit crazy neighbour".

OP posts:

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 02/09/2016 17:19

has the moral compass of a human Marie Celeste

ARF

OP if nothing else you certainly have not lost your sense of humour.

Your neighbour is a twat.

Original poster

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 02/09/2016 17:30

Thank you Hearts.
I am a really cheerful positive person usually and have to say that any anger I have is directed only at this bloody cancer. But it deserves it.

OP posts:

RaspberryOverload · 02/09/2016 17:40

she said "I'm finding this very difficult".

This comment was meant to prompt you into responding "oh dear, is there something I can help with?" thereby going right back into doing stuff for her whether it was okay for you or not.

I'd suggest keeping non-committal if she tries any more comments like this.

Original poster

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 02/09/2016 17:49

That makes sense Raspberry.

I thought she might have been referring to personal discomfort when dismounting from her 4x4 after an intensive period of sneaky and sleezy bonking with Mr Rich as she'd been away/gone for so long.

Your interpretation is probably more on point.

OP posts:

CiderwithBuda · 02/09/2016 18:13

I remember your thread too. She is fabulous entertainment value really isn't she?

Sympathies on the double op. Same thing happened to me in March. Mine wasn't invasive yet but was aggressive. Hadn't spread so I just had the surgeries and radiotherapy. But being told they hadn't got the margins was annoying. The anesathist for the second op said that if I could have had the first op stood up it wouldn't have happened. He reckoned it was the way the breast lies when you are lying down. No idea if he is right. I'm a big girl so lots of flesh to get through!

Hope the rest of your surgery and treatment goes well.

Original poster

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 02/09/2016 18:36

Thanks Cider. She is good entertainment value really.
Sorry to hear that you were resected as well.
My margins were so near but so far, missed the safe zone by 2mm
Perhaps it is the bigger boob that gets more repeats ?

OP posts:

ohfourfoxache · 02/09/2016 18:56

2mm?

Shit, that really is so close

Sorry to hear your cow bag of a neighbor is still being a selfish dung heap. If you have any particular neighbor who you get on well with then you could always mention what has happened.....

Original poster

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 02/09/2016 19:26

Ohfour An inch is as good as a mile; it's one of those things and you just have to get on with it I'm afraid.

According to my DH (who's been out and a bit more than me), entitled neighbour mentioned it herself to her next door neighbour, when they were chatting about the shock of my diagnosis. (I was a bit of a gymn addict)

Let's call her neighbour Dawn.
She told Dawn (with genuine concern and feeling and a sad face) that she'd have loved to have helped but she was soooo busy and had "a lunch in town" (London don't you know).
She passes the hospital on her way to the station.

Dawn is very down to earth and lovely and her husband has driven entitled neighbour's car to the garage he works at, for servicing at mates rates etc. Apparently Dawn thinks that she should "now go and fuck herself"

I said to DH that she's soooo busy on the fuck front and there's soooooo much of a queue, that she ought to book well in advance.

OP posts:

Squeegle · 02/09/2016 19:29

EttuTutti, that really made me laugh, you have got a good way with words

Original poster

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 02/09/2016 19:34

Oh thank you Squeegle.

OP posts:

Insabbathstheatre · 03/09/2016 09:49

I remember your last post and so glad to hear from you - sorry you have had more surgery but wish you well. Re NDN - she reminds me of my SIL - and I now see SIL as the gift that keeps on giving because I get so much pleasure from her expectations (always now dashed!) - enjoy imo!

💐🍰

shockthemonkey · 03/09/2016 10:50

Sorry about your health situation Frutti, very sorry indeed and fingers firmly crossed for a speedy recovery

However, your NDN is so very amusing. Just go with your instinct to laugh at her, laughter is the best medicine after all.

ohfourfoxache · 03/09/2016 11:06

Fuck a duck, I cannot believe she admitted to that and on by thought she was reasonable

Can't see many people willing to do her favours after this

Original poster

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 03/09/2016 12:46

Ohhhh Insabbath's got one too. They're like speshul jabberwockys (?) or something. We must nurture and treasure them.

Ohfour That's being unkind , don't you think ? She tilted her head and everything, and used her breathy sad voice. She couldn't do a sad face unfortunately because of the botox. It was soooooo genuine.

OP posts:

MatildaTheCat · 03/09/2016 13:08

Et tu you sound like a top person and she's clearly as mad as a box of snakes.

My response to her finding this all very difficult would have been, ' I know, you must be so worried about me but really, you are too kind, it's just a relief to know you are there if I need you.' Then slam the door as hard as your sore arm allowed.

Get well soon and make sure you have a shed load of treats lined up for the next few months.

DavidPuddy · 03/09/2016 13:34

Any chance any of your friends has a dog and fancies popping round for a cup of tea in the garden for an hour or so?

IdaDown · 03/09/2016 14:55

You need some interesting/downright rude, stock phrases for her.

she said "I'm finding this very difficult".
EtTu; "yeh, it's right up there with my cancer"

cleanasawhistle · 03/09/2016 16:21

I have an idea of how you are feeling Tuttii......I have a neighbour friend who I have helped out for many years.
She has never offered to do a thing for me during my treatment last year but when I've bumped into her she has been dropping very heavy hints about me helping her out with child care,I just look at her blankly.....there will be no more favours.
If there has to be some good come out of the whole flippin cancer journey then it has to be that I have certainly learnt who my friends are.

Take care

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