...to stab my DH...

[liz70]

...for keeping me awake yet again with his snoring, grunting and farting last night? Sadly, though, I fear his life insurance pay out would be pretty derisory.

Oh, to have separate bedrooms. #dream on

TwoLittleBlooms Well said

Storm I just spat my drink out at your post. Offensive mimes

Look we've all had really shit and horrible things happen to us. But people can't constantly go round censoring themselves just in case they upset someone they've never met or don't know anything about.

In memory of Gene Wilder, I like Mel Brookes' view on why he felt it was okay to feature tap dancing Nazis in the Producer. He said laughter takes away the fear and ridiculing someone reduces their power to terrify you.

If something is genuinely a source of pain for you then don't click on a thread that features that topic. Hide the thread. That sounds flippant but might be the only course of action to stop your discomfort or distress.

I'm sorry for all those who've had horrible experiences in life but trying to control the sense of humour of others isn't go to work in reducing your pain.

On a tangent, could anyone suggest a good way to disrupt a woman snoring? DW does this and I'm wondering if a good hard nipple squeeze might be the way to go?

OP you need these

I used to hate earplugs but tried these in desperation. They have saved my sanity!

I am an asthmatic warthog and I'm seriously offended that you referred to your DH in that way. I'm traumatised.

TwoLittleBlooms You can't go round defending other people's rights to be offended when you are throwing around hideous disablist words like moron...

Storm that makes me laugh so much. Many moons ago my DF was set up on his stag do. He is terrified of mimes and his friends hired a mime to start following him and pretend to 'attack' him almost 30 years later they still cry with laughter at the memories of it. And my DF is still traumatised.

Great post bambam

However OP YANBU! I kick my DH out to the spare room, though he went to the docs about his snoring recently and turns out he has polyps in his nose- he's had a steroid spray for a couple weeks and no more snoring- it's like magic!

Only issue is now I've got less excuse to have the bed to myself! :)

Oh and see a marble into the back of his pj top- I'm sure that was on a Jonathan Creek episode!

My ex snored like a pig.
I bought some snoreze nasal spray from Boots. It bloody worked!
They do throat spray too.

I'll swap you snoring for teeth grinding.

And no I wouldn't stab him. Far too messy and evidential. I'd smoother him.

Same here OP😕 I feel your pain. He was snoring so loudly the walls were vibrating.
Woke me up at 6.00am then the neighbours bloody cockerel kept me awake.
I quite regularly give him a kick (DH not the cockerel) but it has minimal effect unless my toenails need cut and he gets stabbed scratched by them.
My mum was sleeping in the spare room so my sanctuary was gone😔

Really sonic? Can you link to which one it is please?

OK Sonic, just found it on-line for £6.66!
The price being a little ironic.

Hairspray I am really sorry , I truly didn't know it was a disablist word - I will ask for my post to be removed. I am sorry if I have offended anyone else.

My words were poorly chosen (and were not meant to offend) however I do stand by my view that it is inappropriate to say you will stab someone.

How refreshing Blooms :)

Currently fuming... Been off work with the most horrendous cold. Despite my gentle shoves and pleases to sleep on his side dh keeps friggin snoring like a effing freight train! Que me getting my pillows and heading to the spare room. He wakes up. Grumpy with me and no offer for him to be the one to go despite how poorly I am! Plus side I didn't realise it was so comfy and am now considering moving in... Permanently! Feeling crap and annoyed now!

I used to roll my ex onto his back, kick him, elbow him, it never worked for more than 5 minutes. So, in the spirit of MN, I LTB.

Small print: there may have been more to it than just his snoring.

Get him a snore guard - saved our relationship !

I am fantasizing about hiding thumb tacks under the bottom sheet (facing up of course) on his side of the bed next time I change the sheets.... Also holding ping pong balls above his mouth to see if he sucks them in like one of those creepy clown heads at a fair... He has to get his tonsils out, which should help enormously, but can't seem to find the time to book himself in. Nail scissors and torchlight if it doesn't happen soon!

Fuck me, I'm surprised you got away with that title, OP

Trills posted a thread last week with a photo of a crumpet in the OP and a couple of posts in, someone suggested contacting HQ to edit the title, due to all the apparent Trypophobia sufferers on MN

And yes, HQ came along and put a warning in the thread title!

A crumpet I tell you

Trypophobia seems to be on a par with the belief by some people that their bodies are producing unexplained, alien fibres. MN is remiss in ecouraging this silliness.

Mmm, crumpets.

I'm quite convinced no one had trypophobia until people started googling it.

I'm convinced I'm the only person on MN who doesn't have any phobias. I mean there's stuff I don't like, but no phobias as such. Maybe I need therapy?

No, I'm the same Chipped

Maybe we have phobia phobias?