MIL took back offer

[Crazycatlady123]

Beginning of the year after moving to our first proper home, my MIL insisted she wanted to buy our pram for us when we we got pregnant. She has separated from my FIL and they're selling the house, but she offered after this all happened when we had started trying.

I'm 4 months pregnant, and lo and behold, she can no longer afford to buy our pram. I feel like it's all BS, her life is and will continue to be comfortable after moving. What winds me up even more is that she's like 'oh you must buy this make/that make' etc, at expensive options we can't afford.

It's not like we can't afford to buy a pram ourselves we're just more limited with what we can afford, but I'm pissed off that she offered in the first place then took it back. It would be a different story if it were for her 25 yr old daughter, who has always been spoilt and more favoured child of their family.

AIBU?

[TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot]

Unless she's always making offers that she doesn't follow through on, I'd just assume she genuinely can't afford it. You're understandably disappointed, but it sounds like one of those situations where things don't go according to plan and no one is to blame. Your MIL might be disappointed she can't help you too.

Don't worry too much about your limited options. A pram is a pram is a pram.

[StrangeLookingParasite]

Your baby you fund it.

Gee, because that was really the point, not that she'd let them down by offering something then reneging on it.

[AnyFucker]

So she's a bullshitter

Many people are. Get with the programme. The only person you can 100% rely on this life is yourself. And if you are lucky, 99% the father of your children.

[PatriciaHolm]

It's unfortunate. However, your vitriol toward her suggests there is significant backstory here.

[HanYOLO]

The woman's life is totally upended through her marital breakup and you're whinging because you need to pick a cheaper pram? Lack of empathy much?

You've got plenty of time to budget accordingly given that you're only 5 months pregnant

Unless she has lengthy and comprehensive form for doing a number on you YABU. Massively.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Let's be realistic as well, the mil said this when the op wasn't pregnant. That's a bit different than if she said it when the op informed her of her pregnancy imo.

[tofutti]

Not sure what the difference is between a promise to buy a pram before pregnancy is announced and one that's made after pregnancy is pronounced?

A promise is a promise. Bar any major calamities such as death and ruination.

[ample]

Oh my I've just read the comment about no contact.
Definitely don't go the nc route OP, because of a pram! That is lower than low and downright spiteful. Your disappoint will wane. Let it wash over you. In a few months you will have more important concerns to occupy your thoughts, such as your baby rather than focusing on an accessory.

[ample]

disappointment even

[Italiangreyhound]

YABU. Let it go.

[Damselindestress]

I can understand why you are upset. It's not that you expected or demanded the pram. She offered, so you didn't budget for it, but then she withdrew the offer, which is awkward. Plus she is BU to say you should buy expensive makes you can't afford. That would annoy me more than her withdrawing the offer. Maybe her finances have changed but she shouldn't tell you what to do with yours. She can't have it both ways, she gets no say if she's not paying. I would simply say 'we can't afford that' or 'our budget is X amount.' But don't bring the other personal stuff into it. I know it's galling, BIL is very much MILs favourite and she can't do enough for him but you can't change that pattern so you just have to adjust your expectations.

[AyeAmarok]

A promise is a promise. Bar any major calamities such as death and ruination.

Oh for God's sake. Don't be ridiculous.

It wasn't a "promise". The MIL said, before OP was pregnant, that she'd like to buy a pram.

OP then got pregnant and now that the MIL is getting divorced and going through a massive life and financial upheaval she has said she won't be able to afford it.

Nowt wrong with that. She's given her ample notice. It's unfortunate, but more unfortunate for the MIL that she's found herself in this position, I'm sure she'd rather not be.

"Death and ruination"

[Teddy1970]

Like others have said, perhaps she didn't realise how expensive prams and a lot of other things are these days, my parents are still stuck in the 70s regarding the cost of things, and PIL are under the impression you can buy a large detached house in West Sussex with about 6 acres for about £350,000! But I wouldn't get the arse about the pram, you don't know if her financial circumstances have changed since she made the offer.

[expatinscotland]

FFS, it's a fucking pram, not a promise to pay for a life-saving treatment. Get over it.

[Crazycatlady123]

OMG can't believe the number of replies. Thanks for the advice ladies.

It's put things in perspective, I am being unreasonable. I just felt disappointed because it's not the first time she's let us down.

And for those that mentioned it, there is more history that doesn't help how I feel.

But for the record I'm not an angry person, sorry if my frustration comes across that way. And I'm not entitled, we've never asked for anything off anyone, and was looking at mid range models not bugaboos!

Who ever said anything about non contact? that's not going to happen, would never dream of it. My MIL can be a pain but I do care for her despite it being rocky at times.

Thanks again for all your advice. Hey, if you can't rant on here to find out if you're being unreasonable where can you ey?

Xx

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Nicely done op

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

Hey, if you can't rant on here to find out if you're being unreasonable where can you ey?

You're right op. You've taken it much better than I did the first time I was told IWBU

congratulations on your pregnancy.

[Cozytoesandtoast00]

Good reply. Rant away!

[keeprunninguphill]

Buy a second hand pram.

[SleepDeprivedAndCranky]

Plenty of people make empty promises. Don't let it get to you. Enjoy your pregnancy

[AyeAmarok]

Good on you OP

[Lollyp333]

You sound quite nasty and bitter. You chose to get pregnant to you buy the stuff you need!