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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder if I'm alone in my boring youth

38 replies

otter2954 · 28/08/2016 08:59

It was, for me, boring.

No festivals, no 'girlie' holidays, no illicit drugs, barely any alcohol (don't like it)no one night stands, no concerts, no travels.

I'm perfectly happy but AIBU to wonder if I missed out on a rite of passage? Or are there other boring sods like me out there?

OP posts:

Foslady · 28/08/2016 09:01

I made the mistake of marrying when I was 18 after living with strict parents to someone who had his ideas of how we should live.

I could cry at times at the things I missed out on

GlitteryFluff · 28/08/2016 09:01

I'm the same, except I went to a couple of festivals and got drunk once.
I've never set foot in a club, never smoked a cigarette, never tried any drugs, only had sex with DH as we got together at school... I keep saying when I'm old I'll rebel and I'll do it al then!

mrsfuzzy · 28/08/2016 09:08

dear god, i did everything, such a rebel up to the age of..er..now, still let my hair down on the qt i try to encourage my dc to enjoy their youth and live a bit but there is stuff they do not want to get involved with, as i've been there and got the t.shirt i know what i'm talking about and they respect that. all seem to be fairly 'normal' so far..noone has run off to join the circus ..yet - might be fun though, best text dh won't be home tonight

Original poster

otter2954 · 28/08/2016 09:16

I went to a few nightclubs. I wasn't mad keen though.

OP posts:

Brightredpencil · 28/08/2016 09:27

Me too. Very square and no funny drunken anecdotes. I just didn't want to?!

BertieBotts · 28/08/2016 09:49

Fos - yep.

KatieScarlett · 28/08/2016 09:52

Nope, did all of the above.
Got it all out of my system. Nowadays I'm so boring, I bore myself.

Kione · 28/08/2016 09:55

I did it all, but don't want my DD to do it?? I don't know how my mum coped and I don't think I could if DD was a rebel. I want to be perfectly happy too tho. Whats the trick OP?

TrainWrecka · 28/08/2016 09:58

I dont think it means you're 'boring' or 'missed out' if you didn't actually want to do any of those things, though, is it? Some young people are happier at home with a good book than in a club!

I was a wild child, myself. Did clubs, drink, drugs, lots of sex, travelled extensively etc etc. That was me, though. I was always looking for excitement and the next adventure.

I'm the opposite now, at approaching 40. Last night DH was out and I got the DC to bed fairly early. I spent an hour book shopping online, had a bath, then got into bed with a glass of wine and a novel. That's my idea of rock & roll these days

mrsfuzzy · 28/08/2016 10:00

train you are my soul sister party on !

NormHonal · 28/08/2016 10:01

I was like that during my teens and most of my twenties too. Partly due to lack of cash and partly due to just being too sensible (and not knowing what there was out there to do).

DH and I are now cursing ourselves and trying to make up for it in middle age (although festivals these days must be glamped, and we have the financial means to do more now, plus we don't have to worry about the ons side of things, thank goodness).

Will definitely encourage our own DCs to live a little when the time comes, and hopefully we can help them to fund some of their adventures too must not live vicariously through children.

Runny · 28/08/2016 10:05

I tried smoking and went to clubs a few times but that's it. I never did the girlie drinking holiday to Ibiza which was the in place at the time, neither did I go to Festivals.

I can't say it bothers me though TBH.

TealGiraffe · 28/08/2016 10:05

Between the ages of 13 and 25 i did it all. Smoking, drinking, clubs, casual sex, working summer seasons abroad, getting home at 6am then starting work at 8am (god knows how!)

But for the last 5 years i've been well boring i got it all out of my system and now dont smoke, barely drink and haven't been in a club for years. On the ither hand, my best friend had quite a strict upbringing and couldn't do the things i did. She only started going 'out out' when she moved out at about 24.
As a result she's still asking me to go out on a saturday and i can't think of anything worse.
Much rather be at home in pjs watching casualty...

MeAndMy3LovelyBoys · 28/08/2016 10:06

Waves at OP I'm another one who didn't do any of that. I did have a few drunken nights out but that was about it.
I didn't do festivals (tbf I wasn't interested in festivals and still not. My idea of hell), didn't go on any girly holidays, didn't do drugs, didn't go travelling, no one night stands...

I feel I've missed out a bit by only ever sleeping with 2 people. But, I'm single now so I might have chance to make up for it seeing as I'm still in my mid 20s.

Original poster

otter2954 · 28/08/2016 10:12

I don't think personally I did miss out. It just strikes me as a rite of passage I didn't do I suppose. I did other stuff!

OP posts:

Tartsamazeballs · 28/08/2016 10:14

Most of those things are overrated if it's not something that you naturally enjoy.

Festivals- music is great but the lying in the mud/heat worrying if the next gas canister that gets exploded is going to land on your tent is a bit blah. I never feel like I can really relax because there's so many people off their nuts it makes me uneasy about my personal safety.

Girls holidays- never went on one so wouldn't know.

Drugs- yawn, glad younger people are starting to see them as boring. Ditto drinking. I used drinking as an emotional crutch and liquid confidence, which worked about as well as you'd expect. Usually lead to very regrettable one night stands.

Concerts- ok these are fun, but only if you're into music!

Travels- gap years weren't so much a thing when I was at that age, only one or two of my friends went. Watch the inbetweeners second movie- all that bullshit about finding yourself and not knowing a place until you've trekked barefoot drinking nothing but curdled yaks milk... Blah. Nothing stopping you going as an adult though!

If you feel like you're missing out, why not try doing some of this as an adult. Larmer Tree (hippy) or Rewind (80s) festivals are fun and pretty relaxed and easy going, or your local town might have "Townfest" day festival.

Pick a travel destination, research a couple of places you'd like to stay and grab some Airbnbs a short drive apart. We did this in Madeira earlier this year and it was AMAZING!

I still wouldn't bother with drink, drugs or one night stands. The older I get the more I think that these are things that take from you, rather than give to you.

NataliaOsipova · 28/08/2016 10:15

Otter - don't worry about it. I was a bit like you when I was younger and had a moment of revelation when I chap I worked with told me that I would "grow into my age". I thought it was a bit patronising at the time, but I look back and think how insightful it was. At 25, my interests were slightly oddball and not cool (like going to festivals was). I still have the same interests in my 40s, but now people think it is really interesting and want to try/come along (and have either lost interest in the festival thing or feel a bit self conscious getting down with the kids).

Abominablebride · 28/08/2016 10:22

This has been on my mind a lot recently as I think about ds2 who has ASD and worry he won't get to do the 'normal teen stuff'
But the reality is I didn't really do them either I've never been a drinker, smoked on and off but never tried drugs. Have done more concerts/festivals in my 30's & 40's than I ever did in my youth.

Fair share off casual sex but that was spread out over the years I had a long term boyf until I was 19.

I don't really feel I missed out when I was younger, I have fond memories of the friends and things I used to do.

Original poster

otter2954 · 28/08/2016 10:35

I don't think I'm boring, or have an older mindset! It's just I couldn't do most of them and now I could, I don't want to because most of them are things you'd do with friends and my friends have moved on.

OP posts:

MangoMoon · 28/08/2016 10:42

^Nope, did all of the above.
Got it all out of my system. Nowadays I'm so boring, I bore myself.^

KatieScarlett me too!

I was a pain in the ass teen & a party animal social butterfly adult up until about mid 30s - now I actually bore myself.

NoCapes · 28/08/2016 10:43

I did a little bit, I went clubbing every night almost from the age of 15, girls holidays, too much alcohol, shagged too many men
Then I had a baby at 19 and it all stopped rather abruptly
Now I'm 27 and I'm the most boring person on the whole planet
Interestingly I wish I hadn't wasted all that time being pissed or hungover and wish I'd got a proper education and career while I had no responsibilities, it's bloody hard work doing it once you have babies to look after

KatieScarlett · 28/08/2016 10:47

Yes, I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, shag randomers, go to clubs, do girlie shagfest holidays.
I like the occasional gig. Occasionally.
I really like Netflix and Audible and given the choice would rather stay at home.

SkydivingFerret · 28/08/2016 10:54

I never did any of that stuff. Sometimes I feel like I missed out

MangoMoon · 28/08/2016 11:00

Katie, I'm actually going to the pub tonight

First time I've been out since New Year.
Will probs be around Xmas time before I go out again

SharkBaitOohHaha · 28/08/2016 11:00

You're not the only one, I was like that too. However, I did try most of those things at least once (though no drugs or ONS) and didn't like them, so just didn't do them again.

I'm still at the age where many of my peers are still doing those things. Part of me feels like I should join them - but I actually don't want to, because it's just not my cup of tea.

Time will tell if I'll regret not getting stuck in. At the moment, though, I'm pretty content.

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