To detest FAMILY day out, FAMILY meal, FAMILY fun!

[lulucappuccino]

Why do some people use the word "Family" to describe everyday activities?

I come across it on MN, Facebook and often irl.

I mean, the kind of families who do everything together anyway.

"Oh, we had a great family holiday". You never go on holiday separately and haven't for fifteen years.

"I made a really tasty pasta bake. #familymealtimes." As opposed to any other type of meal you ever have.

"We enjoy family day outs at the local arboretum."

Etc, etc.

Don't get me started on "Quality time".

I'm going to have some quality family time now, mumsnetting.

There's a definite profile that emerges from these things, isn't there? The kind of person who posts motivational memes and photographs their food, uses #familytime and #lovebeingamum and #feelingblessed hashtags, refers to "famalam" and "hollibobs" and all these other fucking irritating stupid made-up What Fresh Facebook Hell Is This words... well... my image of her is this:

I think she is called Samantha or Leanne. Younger than my DP and her crowd, probably early 30s... Definitely more Netmums, talks about "sparkle" a lot... ..... She can't spell, or punctuate. A typical post about school goes "omg wot they finkin of now we gotta pay for that trip to da museum six pound how they justify that omg i gonna go up to dat school it not on is it i can take my bubs to da museum my self any time." The sort of person who's had a bottom drawer since she was 16, was obsessed with a "perfect" wedding, is definitely a SAHM and has no intention of ever working again, is very close to her mum (Pauline), makes her poor exhausted DH (Dave) do loads of housework when he gets in from a 12-hour shift, forces him to go out and meet loads of tedious relatives at the weekend but allows him to go and watch The Footie. #boyswillbeboys #boystime If Dave goes out - strictly rationed - he will not be allowed to talk to women, and the idea of his having female friends or being mates with female work-colleagues is just unthinkable. Samantha/Leanne may well believe in angels. Literally. Watches "Corrie" and "Eastenders" religiously. Finds "Midsomer Murders" a bit hard to follow.

In 5 years Dave will leave Samantha for a pneumatic blonde called Karen who he meets on Paul's stag do, or a work conference. #makingmemories

The huffy responses to the thread remind me of that bit on "Miranda" where she does her own version of "What Not to Wear".

Microphone and camera crew at the ready, Miranda approaches a woman on the street.

Miranda: Right, let's look at you. Well, I wouldn't wear that top, but you look comfortable. Are you?

Woman: Yeah.

Miranda: Do You like it?

Woman: Yeah.

Miranda: Do you care that others may not like it?

Woman: No.

Miranda: Brilliant. Wear that then. 'Bye!

-----

See that's the thing. You like that you use those hashtags. And some of us don't like to see them. Stop minding.

Are you talking about the Cameron's, dadonice?

Do you know, that particular combination of names hadn't occurred to me?!

Well we always knew Karen was a durty #homewrecker . Samantha can #holdherheaduphigh #wontlowerherself to the * * ** level. #watgoesaround #karma #poorDaveledAstray

A neighbour posts the most ridiculous things #lovinglife #livelaughlove .... but the photos of her with her 'hubby' and #loveofmylife which she did for 7 days of pictures with your partner on FB thing, urgh...

But he is such a player, has slept at least 2 other that our group of friends know of... and then he puts up a photo of him and her with #loveourchurch #livingthedream

I ticked that unfollow button so fast....

I felt like responding with #WTF

Dadonice

My friend uses the phrase "making memories" as a pisstake when he is stuck in a small caravan with three under tens on the fifth day of his seven day holiday and it has been chucking it down with rain all week. Or when his three year old has thrown his dinner the full length of the dining room.

Using it seriously makes a little bit of sick come up the back of my throat...

Facebook has actually ruined a once very good friendship of mine due to this bollocks. I saw so much shite posted by my friend such as 'pizza night 😍 #perfectfamily #lovethiskid #couldntimaginelifeanyotherway #blessed #peperoniplease', all day every day it sent me bonkers. I hid the posts for a while but then I thought I'd rather know what I'm dealing with here, so decided to embrace it. That didn't work either and now I just think she's a self absorbed dullard and I avoid her as much as possible.

Ha! Pizza night - yawn!

the people I know who are truly happy never talk about it, never post anything smug on facebook, just live a quiet contented life getting on with things

I bet the hashtag crowd hate them

Hello my people! I am similarly intolerant. Cannot bear the phrase 'feeling blessed'; surely you mean lucky or fortunate. 'Play date' makes me feel unwell but I can't think of a succinct alternative so I use it while cringing inside. ' making memories'. Yikes, that's an lawful lot of pressure to put on these events. You have to remember them for ever.
And yes 'school run' is also cringy.
Apologies for my terrible grammar. I'm too tired to think very hard about it

Oh god yes to the couples communicating on fb. I deleted my own uncle for such crimes.

I now have dps cousin and her husband doing it. If it's not pictures of food ( chicken salad, or sausage and mash) it's pics of her kids doing every day bloody things #myworldies #myworld

I saw him send a picture of dubai last week and the comment tagged her and read, "hey let's swerve this hotel, we'd know too many people here and it wouldn't be relaxing for us at all".

It didn't escape us all that this was the family who couldn't afford a weekend in Llandudno recently and now there talking about trips to dubai

Haha, that is hilarious. Who do they know at the hotel in Dubai? The staff presumably unless their many friends live there 52 weeks a year! #firstworldproblems #blessed #makingmemories

I love this thread.

I use 'school run' because I run about like a bloody blue-arsed fly to get DC there on time
Family time... Hmm, I don't use the term but it's not so bad.

Anything, anything with a hashtag gets the evil eye from me. It is one of the reasons I'm no longer on facebook. #happinessis #feelingsmug #blahblahblahblah

People who don't get to spend much time with their family are not excused from judgment if after some outing or activity they post #specialcheesyshite on FB!

I dislike it when people permanently have a pic of their DC (without themselves in the picture) as their profile picture.

My #magicaltrio #craftymama

#lovemytown

Bleugh.

and family surnames in hashtags
#teamtravers... #teamclough
Why? It isn't needed. This started long before teamGB btw

#theblythesontour

I have someone on Facebook who has just checked in to the airport for "holibobs with the famalam". I'd take hashtag 'family time' over that any day. I'm actually cringing.

I'd have to report that to Facebook for encouraging violence

A friend on Facebook constantly uses the phrase "mommy tears". As in, my girls are getting so big. Love to see them grow but inside I am crying mommy tears.

What the fuck?

lookingforhope they know absolutely no one there. It's just constant showing off and bragging between each other but we can all see right through it...and he's always spewing out hash tags for whatever he's rambling about.

I wish I could post his time line here you'd be here for days #dickhead

kennycat God yes! 'Playdate' = irrational shudder. I twist myself in knots to avoid it.

crying @ mommy tears
Hate being called a Mommy, or the greeting 'Hi Mommies!' in annoyingly shrill voices
I'm mid forties ffs.

Damn I love this thread. I only wish I could 'like' specific posts, there are some corkers here.

Personally, I HATE #famalam , its absolutely awful!