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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if you care about what cars others drive?

51 replies

Pearlsofmadness · 26/08/2016 14:38

I went on a hen do a few months ago and was introduced to the work colleagues of my friend for the first time. After my name, the next question one of them asked me and another friend was what cars we drove.

Is this normal? AIBU to think this is a weird thing to ask someone when you're being introduced? I didn't mind telling her I drove a shitty KA. To me, cars just get you from A to B and I just don't think to ask people about it. She didn't speak to me for the rest of the night so perhaps she judged me and thought I wasn't good enough to talk to... Even though I earn double the salary of the hen who drives an Audi

OP posts:

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 26/08/2016 14:44

Very weird. Such a stereotypically shallow question but not one I'd ever expect to actually be asked!

I'd answer and then respond with a question of my own. 'What type of hoover do you have?' or 'what's your favourite tile sealant?'.

ProseccoBitch · 26/08/2016 14:46

I remember this being a normal topic of conversation when I got dragged to places with my parents, the men would all ask each other "So what are you driving now Brian?" but I haven't heard it for ages. I think it's weird and can only assume the person asking wants to judge you on what car you drive (and therefore assume how much money you have or don't have). I have a 13 year old car that I bought with some dents in it (it was super cheap because of the dents!) and delight in not giving a fuck and never having to worry if someone will open their door into it in a car park I don't think I would want to be friends with someone who judged me on the car I drove, although I expect they wouldn't want to be friends with me once they saw it anyway [smile}

Eolian · 26/08/2016 14:46

I'm with you OP. A car is just a car. There are certain expensive cars I really like to admire when I see them, but I have no particular desire to own one and don't give a monkey's what cars others drive. It would never occur to me to ask people what they drive.

ProseccoBitch · 26/08/2016 14:47

Should have elaborated that that was in the 80s. Also apologies for buggering up my smiley.

NickyEds · 26/08/2016 14:47

No I don't but then I don't drive myself so have no idea which cars are expensive/trendy etc! I'd probably judge someone who really did care what someone else drives though

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 26/08/2016 14:48

I'm sure there are millions of people who are nuts about fancy cars who wouldn't dream of asking this question of someone they'd only just met.

TheSunnySide · 26/08/2016 14:49

it's not normal imo. All I need to know about a car is does it go and does the owner park it like a twat.

pollyblack · 26/08/2016 14:50

I have no view on cars really. Outside school the other day I said to a mum- oh i thought i saw your car here (big white thing)- she was mortified, said she had walked and looked in horror at the car I had pointed at. Obviously it was insulting to her that I thought she had a different big white car from the type of big white car she actually had!

Katedotness1963 · 26/08/2016 14:51

It's not a question I would ask as I have no interest in cars, so even if you told me I wouldn't know what kind of car it was.

ComtesseDeSpair · 26/08/2016 14:51

Very odd. I'm a bit of a petrolhead and love a good car discussion (usually about engines and turbos though, rather than just car makes) but I wouldn't ask anyone what they drove as part of a social discussion unless they'd indicated they were also into care. Certainly not as a second question to a stranger!

FrazzleM · 26/08/2016 14:51

WTF?

No, it's not a question I'd ask or be interested in answering.

You'd be as well asking someone what make their washing machine is

ComtesseDeSpair · 26/08/2016 14:52

*into cars

EssentialHummus · 26/08/2016 14:52

I think the correct answer is, "Vauxhall Corsa, but I have a bigger willy than you."

WhooooAmI24601 · 26/08/2016 14:53

Totally abnormal. My car is a hovel filled with Playmobil, lollipop sticks and spitty-fingered-windows. Judge away, it gets us about without having to walk or use buses, therefore it will do.

DH is precious about his cars. Doesn't like me driving them because the DCs leave their tat about. I leave all sorts in my car; books, shoes, cardigans, half-drunk bottled water. Perhaps it's a man thing?

TeaStory · 26/08/2016 14:53

No, in fact I find it quite bizarre that people are so judgemental about it.

One guy I knew told me he's rather stand by the side of the road in the rain for hours than get in my car, because he found the make/model "embarrassing".

Original poster

Pearlsofmadness · 26/08/2016 14:53

Yes, don't get me wrong, I don't really care about cars but if a Ferrari was parked up outside I'd definitely stare it it for a bit longer than another car... Then I'd move on.

I would never even think or care to ask someone what car they drive when I first met them. Don't even know what cars some of my close relatives drive because I don't pay attention.

Glad I'm not alone in finding this odd.

OP posts:

TeaStory · 26/08/2016 14:53

*he'd

Birdsgottafly · 26/08/2016 14:54

My DD was at a family party, of her DP. After about an hour of listening to the question and answers about cars, she started walking around singing "I've got a Combine Harvester", she said she really enjoyed herself and she can't work out why she is no longer invited.

Where I am in Liverpool, everyone knows someone who can get a new car on good monthly terms (because of the Jaguar/Ford factories) , so new cars, are not an indication of having money.

BikeRunSki · 26/08/2016 14:55

I don't care. Cars is interesting really. I once went on a 3 day residential management course. Half way through the first day (so we only knew each other a bit) we course leaders asked us to write down the following about them (the 3 leaders) and the other people in our groups (about 3 more people each):

What car they drove
What paper they read
Their highest academic qualification

The success rate of this "first impressions guesswork" was about 25%.

MadisonAvenue · 26/08/2016 14:55

I don't drive myself so have no idea which cars are expensive/trendy etc! I'd probably judge someone who really did care what someone else drives though

Same here on both counts.
A friend recently had to hire a car for two days and made a big thing about it on Facebook because she'd been given a Vauxhall by the hire company and she drives a BMW and it just wasn't the same and she didn't think she could deal with driving it for a whole weekend. I think it was more a post saying "look at me, I drive a BMW", trying to impress people.

littlepeas · 26/08/2016 14:55

That's weird and very vulgar!! You can't tell how much money someone has based on their car anyway - plenty of very wealthy people don't give a shit about fancy cars.

Original poster

Pearlsofmadness · 26/08/2016 14:55

I leave all sorts in my car; books, shoes, cardigans, half-drunk bottled water.

Haha yes, my car is an absolute shit tip. Now if she judged me on THAT then I'd understand completely!

OP posts:

ComtesseDeSpair · 26/08/2016 14:56

I'm not sure what you drive is even a particularly good indicator of wealth or status anymore. Now that so many people have company cars and car finance is more or less the norm, loads of people drive cars which are out of synch with their income. I tend to automatically assume anyway that most friends and acquaintances with brand new luxury cars have them on finance or through work rather than owned outright, unless I already know they're very wealthy.

BikeRunSki · 26/08/2016 14:57

Actually, in the pretty ordinary S London terraced street I grew up in, one of the neighbours had a friend with an E Type Jaguar that came to visit from time to time. I did like that!

FlyingElbows · 26/08/2016 15:00

No I don't and I'd go out of my way to avoid anyone who does. Petrol heads I can excuse but ignorant judgey bastards with self esteem issues i can't.

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