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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell him to fuck the fuck off?

37 replies

loopyfeckinlu · 26/08/2016 12:28

Divorced 3 years. DS x 2 live with me full time. They are and always have been my world.

ExH is a twat, always has been. DS's have always come to me for advice etc.; as I am, shall we say, easier to talk to. (I don't slag exh off to them as I've always felt they will make up their own minds based on their own judgement).

I've been mum and dad all their lives. After split they saw Exh maybe twice a week in the evening which slowly got cancelled by him, dates changed etc. Now they see him an hour a week if that and it's always to suit his schedule.

I am 0 contact with Exh. Boys were 16/14 when we split, old enough to make own arrangements. I have no reason to communicate with Exh whatsoever.

I thought I had blocked him but got a message out of the blue this morning (following one disappointing AS result for DS2)....

'I feel we have both let him down and if we communicated about it him it would have been far better'

Ds is on medication which makes him tired a lot and throughout the year I've been working with his college to ensure he made up time, coursework etc., where he had time off.

WIBU to tell him to fuck off? I really want to be able to put an eloquent response together but raging so much at the moment that fuck off is all I can manage.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 26/08/2016 12:30

Ignore it.

WannaBeDifferent · 26/08/2016 12:31

I think Fuck Off sums it up nicely .

Eminado · 26/08/2016 12:32

I would delete, block and completely put it out of my head - give him no head space at all.

ClopySow · 26/08/2016 12:33

I'd respond with "lol" then block.

I never lol, but it sums up how i feel about this kind of shit. I get it too.

FatalFemme · 26/08/2016 12:34

Ignore.
Or reply and agree that yes, exh has let him down.

DoreenLethal · 26/08/2016 12:36

I'd respond 'who is this?' and then block again. Idiot.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 26/08/2016 12:38

"I can put my hand on my heart and say I don't believe I have let him down in any way, what you feel about your own parenting is your own affair"

or "fuck off"

In reality Eminado of course has the best approach Flowers

c3pu · 26/08/2016 12:42

One day I will become rich and famous when I invent a way to punch people in the face via a mobile phone.

Until I make it a reality, however, YANBU to tell him to fuck off.

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 26/08/2016 12:45

How about "Oh, I thought I'd blocked you. Sorry about that, fixed it now!".

scallopsrgreat · 26/08/2016 12:46

I think ClopySow's and Doreen's replies are great.

They might help you have a giggle about his ridiculousness and have a laugh at his expense.

The mature option is Eminado, of course.

But we don't have to be mature the whole time.... Grin

Original poster
loopyfeckinlu · 26/08/2016 12:47

Thanks all, you're making me feel loads better!! Grin

OP posts:
Mix56 · 26/08/2016 12:59

FTFO sounds perfect, maybe just add "Tosser" ?

hellsbellsmelons · 26/08/2016 13:00

I think Raptor has it about right.
What a cock he is.

Enoughisenough9 · 26/08/2016 13:04

I vote Raptor

acasualobserver · 26/08/2016 13:08

Do not engage on any level, even a lol, even a fuck off. Just reply, "Please do not contact me again."

CalmYaTits · 26/08/2016 13:22

'Your right, you did let him down. Thought I'd blocked you btw?'

Original poster
loopyfeckinlu · 26/08/2016 14:55

I just blocked him - no engagement - wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

In my head though my message was 'Listen you wank badger, useless arsehole, smelliest feet ever, disgustingly overly hairy, bum sexing, rotted teeth, big eared, blind as a bat, brain dead individual, you're right you have let your son down, but it's a bit too late to start the caring father attitude after 17 years'

OP posts:
Original poster
loopyfeckinlu · 26/08/2016 14:57

Oh and I realised that if I block and then delete the number (which I've always done as I don't even want it in my phone) he can contact me. So I'm going to rename him zzzzz so he's right at the bottom of my contacts list.

OP posts:
WannaBeDifferent · 26/08/2016 15:02

Grin loopy I think tou e been very restrained !

My friend had to almost physically hold me back when my ex asked if I felt whether I could have done better as a mother ! From him that didn't see her for 4 years at all and when he did see her was either pissed or sobbing or both.

JellyBelli · 26/08/2016 15:14

I think of situations like this when people worry about how they will cope being single after they LTB.
Just think, its a choice between this kind of occasional wank. Or this kind of wank every. Single. Fucking. Day.

Original poster
loopyfeckinlu · 26/08/2016 15:29

Oh Wanna, I would actually like to kill the bastard! I'm absolutely fucking fuming that he called my parenting into question when I've been HERE for them 24/7 for the last 19 years.

There is so much they don't tell him because they don't want him to know - not bad stuff, just because of the response they would get.

When DS1 split with his girlfriend last year his dad said to him that it was the best news he'd heard in ages!! Ok, I wasn't overly enamored by her but it's not the sort of thing you say when your child is sitting there in tears!

OP posts:
scampimom · 26/08/2016 15:35

FOTTFSOF?

scampimom · 26/08/2016 15:35

Or you could re-name his contact number as Wankbadger. Informative AND still keeps him near the bottom of the list.

Original poster
loopyfeckinlu · 26/08/2016 15:53

I'm liking Wankbadger! Grin

OP posts:
redexpat · 26/08/2016 15:59

I was also going to suggest wankbadger.