So... are you one of these people that insists they can keep other people's children controlled? Or do you get this said to you all the time... in a nutshell..
I have 2 boys, 5 and 3.5. Both great boys, lovely natured - they are mega energetic, highly demanding and always need something to be doing, playing with, climbing etc. Both me and DH have our work cut out but we do a pretty good job in general, in my opinion.
So when those, especially at the school gate keep insisting 'leave them with me for a few hours, they'll soon behave' or my husband wont allow any of that, just bring them round etc just annoys me sooooo much.
No - you cannot just turn on a button and control any child in a couple of hours, ours can be complex in their mad moments like any vibrant children and both myself and DH know what generally works and what doesnt. A few hours might do it but its not the same as 24/7.
Why do other people - and for me its the parents at my school with one child or extremely well behaved children - that just dont ever consider that other children may actually be different to theirs? It drives me mad.
So aibu to get so annoyed? I am close to snapping and saying something but of course that would be the wrong thing to do.
AIBU?
To Get Annoyed with people who always think they can keep my children under control..
Blueflowers2011 · 25/08/2016 10:41
Whilst I have to confess to being very 
about the term "vibrant" when used to describe the OP's children, I also suspect that I know what she means.
Because whilst I behaved outside of the home/immediate family, as a child, whilst I was seen as docile, and quiet, and "the ideal child"... I certainly had my moments of causing havoc. I behaved outside of the home/immediate family because I was threatened, constantly, with physical violence by my mother. With my brothers and my grandparents, my aunt and my uncles, though... I could be me. I threw myself down stairs, off seven foot high assault course walls, off swings at their highest point onto concrete (child of the '70s, here, no safety rubber tarmac surfaces...). I disappeared for hours as a four year old across rural countryside, and was frequently returned by the guards on our estate for trying to escape it. I was undoubtedly "a vibrant child" in many ways... but I was also a very frightened, very angry, very misunderstood child.
Now though, now that I'm older, several of my friends like to leave their "vibrant" children with me, because they know that I can get them to behave themselves for a few hours (and give them a break). Want to know how I do that?
I engage with them.
It really is as simple as that. As a PP said, when children are encouraged to mop up their own spilled drinks, pour their own sauces, etc., they tend to respond to that. Children are children are children... but they're also expecting to learn how to be responsible from the adults in their lives. So when my friends dump leave their "vibrant" children with me, I make sure that I spend however long they're in my care for, talking with (not to) them, and doing things with them. It can be something as simple as baking cakes, or painting a picture, or letting them hold the lead of my elderly (and extremely tolerant) dog on a walk. Anything that gives them the impression that they have choices, and they have responsibility, and there's an adult in their lives who doesn't think that just because they're children they ought to be spoken down to/ignored.
Which, sadly, their parents do... as did mine, to me, actually.
Engage with your children OP, even if only in a different way, and you might find your friends/other mothers at the school gates stop telling you that they can get your "vibrant" little darlings to behave where you seemingly cannot.
for you, though, because we "vibrant" individuals aren't easy...
being - your posts and your username have given me a chuckle this morning 
Ah MN at it's finest on page 1 .
My kids are spirited little souls too. It is exhausting. I suggest the book "Raising your spirited child" it helped me a lot.
miss my now 19 year old was such an ace child then she turned 13 and hell broke loose :o she only just starting to turn the corner now... my now 6 year old has been a total pain in the butt im hoping she will be an ace teenager
I have two very lively, energetic boys (3.9 and nearly 1). The 3yo is constantly running, jumping, singing, interrupting to ask questions and the baby has been walking for 6 weeks already so my attention is very much divided.
They both, especially ds1, have their "mad moments" however I've never had anyone - even relatives i have elderly child free ones, too, so this isn't a politeness thing - tell me that I need help to teach them discipline
I agree with other posters, maybe a close look at how you manage them would be a good idea
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