OH has unilaterally found us a new house

[Natsku]

Apparently we're moving in October. I haven't even seen the house. He's BU right?!

Hang on. Has he actually signed anything/paid a deposit or simply said 'I have found a house, we can move in October'

There is a difference.

So you were looking for a house

Last one fell through and he kept looking

He found something which is to rent and seems a good deal?

Can't see the problem myself unless there's a back story.

Does he normally assume he doesn't need to take your thoughts, feelings etc into consideration in other areas?

Has he signed the agreement and paid a deposit?

I said yes to a rented house without DH seeing it - he was in hospital and we had to decide or someone else would have got it.

As its only renting it's not the end of the world and easier to make a decision alone if you know it ticks all your partners boxes. But it's still strange thing to present it as a done deal instead of giving you the opportunity to check it out (at least online) first.

Are there practical reasons why it's easier for him to do this alone?

I bought our flat. DH didn't see it until the day before we completed.

I'm going to have to insist on a viewing before I agree to move anywhere

So this is nothing really... Just dp got excited about a house

Kitchens don't matter. Just leave men to do all the kitchen stuff. Works for me.

^^ What Middle said.

Oh dear! Has he actually signed anything? HEBVU if so.

If you don't like it I guess he will have to move in on his own?

I hope it's absolutely lovely With a fabulous kitchen!!!

DH had to rent a house without me seeing it when we relocated here. He came up on the train and had to make a snap decision in a fast moving rental market. It was all a bit nerve wracking but it was a nice house.

DH buys property to do up including the properties we've lived in. I have had a "err I've just bought a house phone call before now". He buys at auction which is exchange of contracts on the sale, so he really has bought it.

That said, I'd be very unimpressed if DH had rented us a house unilaterally when I could easily have been consulted. He did talk to me before renting the unseen house even though I couldn't see it.

Where to live is generally a decision you should make together.

If it's such a bargain, Might be he felt he needed to give the owners firm commitment to secure it. As its being rented, sounds like you could back out anyway and at most lose any deposit payed.

I didn't see our house until the day we completed either. I'd seen plenty of houses that were almost exactly the same in the same town, even on the same road. But our first offer fell through, I was pregnant and tired, it seemed easier for DP to just make an offer on the right house on the right street without wasting time trying to get me to see it.

it is out of order if thats what hes done have you spoken to him about it. thought them sort of things should be done together. did you say anything like whilst im away if you see anything good snap it up? i guess its not all been signed for ect? you can go and look at it cant you. you might really like it.

YABU moaning about it on mn rather than having a rl conversation with your OH...

OH: We're moving house in October, I've found us somewhere.

You: Um, no we're not, I'm not moving to somewhere i've not even seen.

OH: Oh, ok, fair enough.

As its only renting and it's such a bargain, I can't really see the problem if you were moving anyway. Yes, he really should have called you to check but maybe he was worried he would lose it had he not secured it there and then. Or perhaps he's aware you are fussy over kitchens and doesn't want to spend the next year faffing about and then paying three times the amount. In which case, you could happily tell him he does all the cooking

I couldn't get too worked up, to be honest. I'm assuming it will be a six month contract and if you don't like it you can move.

On first reading I thought that was nuts. But for rental, now I think of it DH has signed us up for rental properties twice without me seeing.

The first time it was a bit desperate but at least we had a roof over our heads that we could afford and I could get to new job on foot. Luckily in a way, the landlord was behind on the mortgage and hadn't informed the lender he was letting it out so the agency helped us move to another property they managed without the notice required. The second one he signed for without me was a peach.

There is a huge difference between agreeing with your partner that you're happy for them to make all the arrangements and don't mind moving into a house you haven't seen and being told you're moving into a house you haven't seen once it's already a done deal.

Renting or not it's going to be your home, tell him you aren't moving until you've seen it and never to do something so stupid again.

Maybe some people wouldn't mind, but you do. I'd also be worried about the fact you both seem to be singing from different hymn sheets tbh.

DH agreed to a rental house for us wthout me seeing it, but that was a fast moving market with very few quality rental properties available. I was still in London, he went on the train to the new area to see what we could rent. He ended up racing another prospective renter back to the Estates Agents' office to sign for the house first. He won, and got the house with the washer.

OP, go and have a look at the house and don't be pressurised into moving into somewhere that doesn't work for you.

Not necessarily unreasonable. Can't tell without more information which OP seems reluctant to give. What's the point in starting a thread if you don't want to engage with posters?

I can't get worked up about it. I would assume he knows what you both need and like in a house (since you have both been looking) so unless he's an arse who'd deliberately opt for something you hated, it's safe to assume he's probably went for something he thinks will work.