To think by this age he knows he's being rude but also wwyd

[toomuchconfusion]

Whenever I see a long standing friend her 8 year old waits for her to leave the room then looks up from whatever he's doing and tells me I'm fat - every time! He's told me "you're so fat you might pop", "you look really fat", "why are you such a fatty bum bum" " you're really greedy why don't you stop eating" (even though i rarely eat in front of him and certainly no more than his own parents). I have tried to talk to him about it but he isn't interested in responses he just seems to want to hurt or insult me.

I haven't raised it with his parents because I suspect they would gloss over it and then just laugh about it later.

To be clear I am fat so I have zero issues with observations to that effect but this has gone way beyond that. If it was one if my kids (similar ages) I would be mortified!

He should know better right? Plus what do I do about it, if anything? I'm finding myself making excuses not to see them not helped by my issues with anxiety.

[TheWitTank]

I would death stare the little shit and icily tell him how disgusting his behaviour is and that you will be telling his parents and that he will no longer be invited over. Then tell his mum! If she is any kind of decent sort she will be mortified.

[Cagliostro]

Yes of course he knows. That's nasty :(

I hope you can record it, you should definitely tell the parents. Either they'll realise that his behaviour is horrible, or you'll realise that it is coming from the parents. If the latter, you'll have seen their true colours and should totally ditch them

[toomuchconfusion]

Chippednailvarnishing - I've only recently started to think I don't deserve abuse for being fat. He's a kid I get comments from adults so I've minimised it. I also have anxiety so I avoid drama and confrontation. It's been easier to keep quiet.

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

Fucking hell what a horrible child!

I have an 8 year old, he would never dream of saying this to anyone.

You definitely need to broach this with his parents. If it has come from them then they aren't exactly good friends!

[Hissy]

Repeat verbatim what he says - record it if poss- and play it to the mother. Say that you'll be leaving and perhaps you'll reserve your visits for evenings and times their ill mannered child is elsewhere, but of course if it's an opinion they share, that you'll spend time with others who ARE your friends.

[Hissy]

Main point is, BE OFFENDED! You've got that right, this is horrendous! No matter what you do or don't look like, there's no excuse for this vile treatment of you.

[Mycatsabastard]

I second the smiling at him and saying 'well you a little cunt' and then just ignoring him. And if he tells his mum then deny it. Ask why on earth you would say that to him?

He sounds fucking awful. And this is coming from the parent of a 10 year old who has no filter but still wouldn't dream of saying this.

[MermaidTears]

mycatsabastard I actually love you

[bumsexatthebingo]

I would mention it in a 'I just thought I'd let you know in case he says it to anyone else' kind of way. If it's glossed over and carries on I would ask a parent to take him with them when they leave the room as he's still being very rude every time they leave.
It may stop when you inform the parents though - there's got to be a reason he's waiting until they leave to say it.
I wouldn't necessarily say that he's copying his parents either. I've got a friend who has struggled with her weight and has drummed it into her kids that 'fat' is the worst thing you can say to someone and that it is a swear word. And guess what the insult they tend to use is?
Hoping some of these comments are lighthearted as I wouldn't swear at an 8yo regardless of how unreasonable their behaviour was.

[meowli]

I would tell his parents or record him and play it back.

If you don't want to confront his parents about their little darling, then I would make a recording and play it back to him, and tell him that it's got to stop, otherwise the next people to hear the recording will be his parents.

[Optimist1]

Next time he pulls this stunt I'd get my handbag and say to his mother "Sorry, I can't stay whilst LittleShit is being so rude to me" and leave. You would be risking your friendship if she really won't get to grips with his bad behaviour but at least you have taken a decisive step.

[VeryBitchyRestingFace]

Imagine you don't tell the parents. The next adult he tries this shite on may very well punch him in the chops quelle domage.

You are not giving your friends the opportunity to save their little ratfink from a good hiding by keeping this from them.

But I like the idea of taping him first.

[acasualobserver]

The next time your friend is about to leave you alone with him ask him he's going to say what he usually says when mum leaves the room. An interesting discussion should follow.

[PumpkinPie9]

What a hideous child. I'm not surprised he struggles with friendships at school if that's how he carries on. When you tell the parents what he's said you could add that if he says the same to an overweight child at school he could end up with angry parents turning up on the playground complaining about him bullying their child.

[icy121]

Jesus what a cunt! I sort of want you to say "you're only being nasty to me because your mum doesn't love you, that's true you know. She doesn't. She told me so" but that is pretty sadistic. Mind you he sounds like he's definitely got something of the "we need to talk about Kevin" about him.

Maybe burst into loud, sobbing tears and be all "why would you saaaaay that" at the top of your lungs?

Or you could look him in the eye dead seriously, with that terrifying quiet aggression and say something like "yeh, I am big, and if you ever say anything about it to me again and I will fucking sit on you until you stop breathing. Go on! Try me. You fucking try me".

[EssexGurl]

Yes, tell the mum.

I have taken myself in hand lately and lost weight. I thought I was looking good. Then one of my DDs friends asked me in the playground "why do you have such a fat tummy?". I wasn't too bothered as the dress I was wearing (empire line) wasn't flattering. Damn you Johnny Boden,

But the mum is a good friend of mine and she is pretty supermodel like (tall, slim, fab dress sense) and compared to her I am short and dumpy. As is the nanny. Who was mortified and made the girl apologise. Later that night I got a hugely apologetic phone call from the mum. Girl been in tears that night for upsetting me.

Long story - but the girl made a throw away (accurate) comment and the nanny and her mum addressed it right away.

Your friends are not friends if this is what their son is repeating, constantly to you.

Tell the friend and then drop contact.

[mikado1]

icy121 Your post has made me laugh oh loud, not least because I read 'look him in the eye dead seriously' as 'look him in the dead eye' I thought I'd missed something and again at We need to talk about Kevin although I do agree that his behaviour I'd very creepy and deliberate.

I wouldn't assume parents have said it (although you do seem to have reasons to suspect the dad).

[WombOfOnesOwn]

I'd bet anything he's torturing children at school with his bullying bullshit. To echo everyone else, you should definitely tell the parents. Don't keep this your little secret -- that's not something grownups and kids do together.

[notapizzaeater]

I'd be mortified if my DS said something like that (and he also doesn't have a filter). But the fact he's waiting till they are out of the way shows he is calculating

[brambly]

Odious little fuck. Bravo to you for resisting the temptation to wallop him so hard he doesn't know whether it's Monday or Sheffield Wednesday.

I'd definitely record him and tell the parents. If they minimise or disbelieve, you've got the recording(s) waiting in the wings.

[HerdsOfWilderbeest]

Turn it round every time, all innocent eyes and sad tipping of head:

"Oh Joe you're not THAT fat, you mustn't worry."

Then when he says "no not me, you!" Just repeat "oh goodness I thought you were talking about yourself there and you were worried that you don't look too good. I thought you were comparing yourself to others and felt that you weren't good enough or something!"

You can definitely outwit an 8 year old.

Can't understand why he has no friends.

[MermaidTears]

I'm crying with laughter at these suggestions.

Look him dead in the eye with a crazed smirk on your face and say in a chirpy sing song voice

...well you are quite the little cunt aren't you johnny

Pahahahhahahaha

[Hissy]

This is an 8yo.

An awfully rude one, but a child nonetheless.

Drop him in it, give the parents a chance to fix it, if they don't, drop them too.

[tararabumdeay]

The child is 8 years old. I'm fat. My DS mentioned that Niki Lauda was ugly. I told DS why Niki Lauda looked ugly. He will never judge people by their looks again.

[OptimisticSix]

He is a cunt. I think I'd just reply with "oh honey, is this why you don't have any friends? Because you're so horrible and no one likes you. How sad". Then I'd call his mum in and repeat everything he'd just said to me verbatim and leave. Fuck taking that nonsense from anyone let alone a child.