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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think we can get out of the house without one fight or tantrum?!

34 replies

blinkowl · 22/08/2016 15:48

Jesus wept.

Have just given up going to the shop to get ingredients for baking (which the DCs are excited about) as too much shouting, fighting, tantrums over putting shoes on etc.

It would also be nice to be able to go to the toilet occasionally without WW3 breaking out.

My poor neighbours must hear me shout "stop fighting!" at the top of my lungs, from the toilet, several times a day!

(If you are reading this, neighbours, I am sorry!)

Leaving everyone to calm down a bit, then am going to try again. I would say forget it entirely, but I need to get out of the house for a bit of sanity!

OP posts:
Original poster
blinkowl · 22/08/2016 15:50

Roll on September! Wink

How are the summer holidays going for everyone else?

OP posts:
MetalPetal86 · 22/08/2016 16:18

Yes, I feel your pain. What you describe sounds very similar to my experience. Husband is taking the reigns from Friday when I go back to work (and get to eat some food without having to share Smile).

MetalPetal86 · 22/08/2016 16:18

Actually reins (I think!)

Mcchickenbb41 · 22/08/2016 16:28

Dd2.6 will only leave the house if it's to see 'animals' ATM. Anything else and she's just not interested. I had to put her in the car the other day in just a pull up nappy with a jacket wrapped around her as she had a major tantrum and after wrestling to get her clothes on 3 damn times ( I was sweating ) I finally gave in. Put her clothes in a bag I should add. And don't get me started on the battle with the car seat. All to nip up the shops for bread Sad

Iambubbles86 · 22/08/2016 16:34

I actually can't remember how to speak normally anymore, I'm either half shouting or full shouting. I have ds6 and ds3. Neither of them ever listen to me or if they do they decide their immediate needs are more important. They have spent most of their days watching TV. All we did together today is a half hour of art and 20 minutes playing snakes and ladders, I literally don't have the patience or energy to do anything more than that with them. I hate the summer holidays

user1471461166 · 22/08/2016 16:36

Yes YABU.

Did you not get the memo about how it is a child's prerogative to wind you up at the most in opportune moments? Or did they not give you the 'truths about parenting' leaflet after you gave birth Grin

Of course YANBU, but it won't stop it happening until they've grown up, moved out and had kids of their own xx

SpaghettiMeatballs · 22/08/2016 16:39

My eldest is away this week with relatives for a few days. I miss her etc etc but the absence of fighting is amazing.

Original poster
blinkowl · 22/08/2016 19:53

Of course YANBU, but it won't stop it happening until they've grown up, moved out and had kids of their own

Noooooo!!!!!

Think I need Wine

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WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 22/08/2016 19:56

It's so annoying. I keep telling myself it will get better when they are a bit older. Then I meet up with other parents with older kids and it's just as bad.

Fuck the wine I need gin.

and we go on holiday soon so they will be sharing a room in a smaller house, shudder

WhooooAmI24601 · 22/08/2016 20:00

We spent today with friends and had to leave when DS2 appeared shouting "he bloody bit me" (pointing at DS1). Came home and they were complete arses in the garden so as punishment I made them write a list of things they like best about one another, and another list of rules they're prepared to live by. They both cried for 20 minutes but came up with some lovely things they like, including "I like that he trumps in the bath and makes bubbles" from DS1 and "I like his big submarine that he never lets me play with so I steal it when he's at scouts" from DS2. Their list of rules went "We will be kind, we will not sit on one another any more, we will try to stop stabbing one another with the wooden swords and we're going to stop pretending to bark to upset the dog". I give them til 8am tomorrow before they break all of their own rules.

Some days I can't wait til they go to University. Other days I wonder how we're going to survive that long.

charlie2405 · 22/08/2016 20:39

Fucking amen. Kids have slowly but surely been driving me batshit crazy for the last 4 weeks. I hate the holidays. 7 years apart and different genders, one only just leaning to talk and the still fight?! Jesus wept.Confused

Peppapogstillonaloop · 22/08/2016 20:45

Mine alternate between fighting and screeching at each other to being best buddy's and getting mega excited/uncontrollably manic..either way I appear to be shouting calm down/stop it etc etc a thousand times a day. And the baby refuses to act like a baby and is right in the middle of it all so it's basically carnage! I feel your pain although I weirdly do love the summer holidays I will be glad when they are over!!

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 22/08/2016 20:50

I have also been shouting and screeching a lot. They are 3 and 7 and ignore whatever reasonable requests I make. My behaviour expectation standards have slipped considerably too as I heard myself earlier in the garden hollering "IF YOURE GOING TO FIGHT THEN DO IT GENTLY!!!"

Original poster
blinkowl · 22/08/2016 21:10

Dd2.6 will only leave the house if it's to see 'animals'

Love it Grin (sorry to laugh at your pain, but the tyranny of toddlers is genius!)

Can you just pretend there are random animals wherever you are going and hope to see a passing dog or wouldn't that work?

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Original poster
blinkowl · 22/08/2016 21:13

ElleBellyBeeblebrox are you me - seriously?!

Mine are also 3 and 7 and I'm sure I've heard myself say similar!

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ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 22/08/2016 21:16

I do the bellowing from the toilet too... I hear the wailing or the sounds of battle and then "MUUMMMMMY!!!"
"IM ON THE FUCKINGTOILET!!!"

MrsMook · 22/08/2016 21:58

I thought I wanted 3 children, but I think the voice of reason is telling me that it's hard enough herding 2 out of the house, and not to add further complications in any attempts to exit.

Unfortunately I have a highly developed sarcastic streak so my 3 year old announcing that he needs the toilet gets responses like "that's nice".

I'm always dabbling on the edges of lateness and it's the socks and shoes that are usually to blame, although bowel movements can be thrown in to for variation. Then there's the emergency dive into the playroom to grab an armful of toys to bicker over.

It's a good job they're cute when they're asleep!

dylsmimi · 22/08/2016 22:03

I am so glad it's not just mine!! They are 6 and 3 and I have no clue what happens once they reach the hall - even if by a slim chance they have managed to behave/ the 3 yr old hasn't had a tantrum because I gave him exactly what he asked for for breakfast Angry and they are dressed then once they get to the hall they start fighting and shouting louder and will not PUT THEIR SHOES ONNNN
Urgh - by the time I get out the door I feel I deserve a gold medal a bunch of flowers and a large glass of wine Sad

EssexGurl · 22/08/2016 22:09

My neighbour and I had a discussion last week about what each of us had heard from the others houses.

Apparently the most used phrase from mine is "why can't you two stop fighting". From hers it is "just eat your tea".

We all go through it.

My DD asked me today what I would prefer living in our house - my children or a well behaved dog. She was distraught I chose the dog. I hate dogs.bwith a passion

I think it brought it home to her how badly behaved she and her brother had been this holiday.

d270r0 · 23/08/2016 07:58

I agree, I feel very guilty about the fact I just seem to be shouting most of the time. I have ds1 (5) and ds2 (2) and they just seem to fight constantly, the 2 year old loves shrieking at the top of his lungs which drives me up the wall! I realised how hypocritical I was being though, stuck in the shower with both kids shouting, and me screeching "Just stop shouting" at them.
I have to get out every day, I feel better when we're out (at least for a while) and it breaks up the day.

paddypants13 · 23/08/2016 08:07

Mine are too young for school so are together pretty much ALL the time.

I'll say to ds "right, let's get you dressed." Dd will promptly start to tantrum because she doesn't want to get dressed. Confused I didn't say a word about dd getting dressed.

Dd(3) and ds(1) fight all the time. Dd is rough with ds because she forgets he's much smaller and ds fights dirty with hair pulling and biting.

The other day ds bit my knee so hard it broke the skin meanwhile dd was peeing all over the bathroom floor.

It's a wonder we've all survived, it's probably because they're so cute.

Original poster
blinkowl · 23/08/2016 10:52

I realised how hypocritical I was being though, stuck in the shower with both kids shouting, and me screeching "Just stop shouting" at them.

YY to this!

I remember hearing DS shouting in the garden, I was in the bath, so I shouted down to DP "tell DS not to shout to much" So DP duly shouted out to DS "Stop shouting!".

I thought shit, we've got no hope have we?!

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Original poster
blinkowl · 23/08/2016 11:05

I also feel guilty about the shouting Sad

I think mine are bored. I don't have the energy / money / planning / garden to be able to keep up with their needs. The baking yesterday went swimmingly - when we were actually baking, they loved it. And actually even cooperated at times Shock it was wonderful!

But any time they weren't actually doing the activity they were fighting, with each other, with me and also badgering me constantly.

Consequently even though we did manage to do the baking, but I trashed the kitchen and didn't get time to clean it all up. I was too shattered in the evening to do it, so poor DP has to deal with it today as I've swanned off to work Blush (quiet day hence mumsnet!).

Really they could have done with loads of exercise and baking and crafty things etc etc, but I can't seem to achieve this level of stuff. Instead they had

  • watching TV (DS) and "helping me" hindering me from getting on with some household stuff (DD)
  • picnic lunch in garden
  • fighting about things related to leaving the house (about an hour!)
  • shopping
  • baking
  • playing with neighbours' DC
  • reading
  • bed.

Not the most stimulating day ever is it? Wayy to much TV.

I had planned to go to the park too, but we spent too much time on fighting.

I have no idea how people manage to keep kids entertained, exercised, stimulated, fed washed and dressed, plus keep a tidy house in the holidays. It's certainly beyond me! How to people do it?

I seriously need to learn to drive. Could at least chuck them in the car and just get out of the house!

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Mcchickenbb41 · 23/08/2016 15:47

Yes all animals are good even ants. Well this morning I played hide and seek with mine. I was getting ready to go out I actually forgot I was meant to be seeking Grin it was brilliant. We actually got out on time.

NPowerShitShower · 23/08/2016 15:54

I feel like I have found my people.
Two DCs, 2 and 4, and can't wait for school to start back again!