To start the NINTH thread that nobody responds to

[PortiaCastis]

For the lonely faces, in those empty spaces
For the unloved and the denied
For the little wheels turning bigger deals
For all the dreams that bloomed and those that died

Mother nature don't draw straight lines
We're broken moulds in a grand design
We look a mess but we're doing fine
We're card carrying lifelong members of
The Union of different kinds

All welcome we are Vanilla who makes cakes
Toad who is meme champion
Better who is advisory
Portia who has a famous boyf
AGL who is young
Jess well I dunno
Ruby Being and anyone I've forgotten

My DD looks like Martha from GBBO. We went into Waitrose when they had the Martha promotion on & I said in a loud voice "What do you think of the display? Do you think the spoons should be more prominent?" And the manager came running over so we legged it to the frozen food aisle.

being its a good job France never appealed to me. Apparently burkini sales are up elsewhere in the world.

Sorry to hear that you're still feeling stressed Blue - I thought everything would be plain sailing now, since they have accepted your offer. Good luck getting through the next bit tomorrow.

Baaaack

Its not house related. Its something else - to do with ex. Too outing to say exactly.

being. Where is toad when we need her? There was a great meme on another thread about 'how to get a bikini body' - the answer was, quite simply, 'put a bikini on your body'.

(Books computing classes)

Like this Jess?

being. It had lots of silhouettes of different figure types, all of them slightly 'imperfect' (yeah, whatever) compared to what we see in magazines/the movies. Ranging from very skinny to quite a lot bigger with height differences as well. I think it was a piss-take of those Cosmo articles where it asks 'which bikini body are you' and the answer for most women is a rather depressed 'none of the fuckers'.

This one?

being. Well done, that's the one!

Although, technically Google should get the credit for this

I shall not ever never wear a bikini. I am also hoping that full body swimwear becomes the norm. It makes sense for redheads as we only burn anyway.

Portia I saw that the RNLI were called out 3 times in one week to the same woman getting cut off by the tide recently!!! Bloody idiot! I reckon she should have been made to pay for the second and third time.

JET she was a daft cow. Apparently she's been anniilated on fb and twatter as persons unknown had a slip of the tongue and mentioned her name. Wish I knew her twatter name I would be very polite !

Mom was saying she'd read about that woman in the metro. Mom couldn't believe anyone would be that stupid. Surely the first time would scare and humiliate you enough, to learn your lesson. Apparently they got her to have beech safety lessons after the third time.

There is a thread on here about better education for the sea. A poster has said that she's in an fb group for Looe and dimwit woman posted on it saying she had a right to be rescued if she was in trouble. It's been pointed out to dimwit every time the lifeboat goes out it costs ££££££ and she would be billed.
Dimwit disappeared from fb group oooo I wonder why

So, I sit down on the toilet to have a wee before bed, and bigcat jumps into the bath, jumps back out again and up onto my lap, looks at me with proud eyes and drops a freshly caught, still alive and crawling spider on roids into my lap!!!

I screamed that kind of half scream half shout noise that only happens when you're absolutely terrified, stood up mid pee, cat claws my legs wondering wtf is going on, spider gets thrown somewhere in the bathroom by my flailing arms. DH comes pounding up the stairs to my aid, and he finds me stood on the bath step, trousers round my ankles, pee down my leg and on the bathroom floor pointing dramatically at the beast on the floor, shouting "quick!!!!!! Get it!!!!!"

FFS!!!!
I FUCKING HATE SPIDERS!!!
Bloody cat!

Chocolate is a gift. Wine is a gift.
SPIDERS ARE NOT A GIFT!!!

I need tea and sympathy.

Jesus h Christ. I think I'd have been sick.

Cringy mingy

Eeeek. That's worse than my spider/toilet horror I shared a few threads ago. You definitely need , and .

You'll be OK. The beast has gone. Deep breaths

Also hopefully cat now realises humans + spider gift = scream and no appreciation, so won't do it again

Intact after trauma like that have some too.

*in fact not intact!!!!

I never used to be quite as terrified of them as I am now.
Thanks for all the it's helping.
Poor bigcat just looked at me and sloped off, like he was completely offended by my non-appreciation.