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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think it's normal and polite to offer servicemen a drink?

180 replies

NeedACleverNN · 20/08/2016 19:50

We had the gas man round yesterday to do a boiler check. I offered him a drink and he gratefully accepted a coffee.

Dh saw the cup on the drying rack and asked if had guests round. Told him no it was the gasman and he looked confused.

I've always thought you offer them a drink. He thinks they are there to do a job and that drinks are not part of it

Yes? No?

OP posts:
pinkieandperkie · 21/08/2016 11:36

I usually offer a drink, the washing machine repair man had banoffie pie the other day with his coffee. He kept looking lovingly at it on the side so I felt he should have some. Bloody hate it when they want to use the loo thoughShock

schbittery · 21/08/2016 11:36

I always offer anyone coming to the house in any capacity a drink

this is normal.and polite, yanbu

MrsMushrooms · 21/08/2016 11:39

I ALWAYS offer a drink. I can't imagine somebody coming into my home and not being offered something! It's like a reflex: "come in, would you like a brew?"

My husband is a serviceman though and he says he only gets offered anything once in every 10 jobs or so when working domestics, so I guess it's not as common as you'd think

MrsMushrooms · 21/08/2016 11:41

I only read the OP before posting so just used the same word haha, serviceman is definitely not quite right!! DH is an alarm engineer

meowli · 21/08/2016 11:43

Because if I offer but then say I'm not having any myself then they feel obliged to say no thank you and it all seems to be a passive aggressive 'I'm offering you tea, but I expect you to decline' dance. So it feels much politer to not offer at all.

We've had loads of tradesmen over the years (because we're rubbish at DIY Blush), and I always offer a drink and get one of two replies - No thanks, I've only just had one or Yes, please, followed by preferences (white, two sugars etc.) I've never been asked whether I'm having one myself, or felt the need to inform them of my intentions. I would find that a bit odd, I think!

treaclesoda · 21/08/2016 11:45

'Are you having one yourself?' is always the first thing anyone says in my experience. Or they reply with 'only if you're having one'. Grin

meowli · 21/08/2016 11:46

Bloody hate it when they want to use the loo though

So do I, but only because I can't guarantee the state of it, if it's before I've been able to do a quick recce. (3 ds and a dh).

WaitrosePigeon · 21/08/2016 11:49

Anyone that comes into the house I would offer a drink.

candybar007 · 21/08/2016 11:51

Im a tradesperson (think plumber), average time in the house is 1hr and I would say 4 out of 5 people a day offer me a drink. If I refuse then I always say "Appreciate the offer but Im fine" and yes it can depend on the state of the house.

meowli · 21/08/2016 11:54

'Are you having one yourself?' is always the first thing anyone says in my experience. Or they reply with 'only if you're having one'.

All your tradesmen must be very hot on etiquette, treacle Grin.

On re-reading, that sounds really snobby, and it's not meant to. it's just that in my experience, people who come to do a job of work don't usually pussyfoot around with the uber-politeness of asking if I''m having one, etc!

treaclesoda · 21/08/2016 11:56

I think it's just a reflex reaction, same as people are saying that to them it's a reflex reaction to say 'would you like a tea or coffee? ' Grin

meowli · 21/08/2016 11:58

Maybe when they say to me "No thanks, I've only just had one", it's actually code for "When did you last clean your kitchen?" Blush

Mittensonastring · 21/08/2016 12:06

I always offer a drink and have been known to go out and offer the bin men ice cold water when it's very hot which they appreciate.

My health visitor who actually became a friend always had a drink at mine and she said she often turned down offers of refreshment depending on the state of the house.

I had 3 tree surgeons in my garden a couple of years ago taking down two trees. It was on my birthday so they had cake. They were my fave tradespersons of all time. All handsome, wearing climbing harnesses and hard hats while wielding big tools Blush

notthe1Parrot · 21/08/2016 12:21

I always offer hot or cold drinks and wrapped biscuits (a big plate of them). I just leave the plate there the whole time they're in the house, topping up as necessary. Also offer toast or sandwiches if near a meal time.

In the hot weather, I take cold cans or cartons out to the bin men and the road-sweeper. Always gratefully received!

AppleSetsSail · 21/08/2016 12:21

I had 3 tree surgeons in my garden a couple of years ago taking down two trees. It was on my birthday so they had cake. They were my fave tradespersons of all time. All handsome, wearing climbing harnesses and hard hats while wielding big tools

Tree surgeons.

They don't allow non-hot men into this trade, it seems.

treaclesoda · 21/08/2016 12:27

That sounds good. I wish I had trees. Although frankly never mind hot men, I'd settle for hot weather. I was reading about giving the bin men drinks on a hot day and thought 'what would I do?' and then realised that it's not a situation that generally arises, what with hot weather really not existing here.

Mind you, I wouldn't give our bin men a carton of anything as they most likely just throw it in your garden once they're finished. They claim it is against policy to pick things up from the ground, even though mine times out of ten they're the ones who drop it there in the first place. Angry

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 21/08/2016 12:33

always offer tea/coffee, generally biscuits too and usually have some home baking

if dh is home we tend to have a bacon sarnie too mid morning if there's been no breakfast, so would offer that!

Cel982 · 21/08/2016 12:35

And because I find it really really rude for someone to offer a cup of tea when they aren't drinking one themselves. In my world, and family and upbringing, that would be the height of rudeness.

But surely, if you really feel that someone would find that 'the height of rudeness', the more polite thing to do would be to pour yourself a cup too, even if you didn't really feel like it? I can't comprehend how not offering at all could be the less rude option.

AppleSetsSail · 21/08/2016 12:42

But surely, if you really feel that someone would find that 'the height of rudeness', the more polite thing to do would be to pour yourself a cup too, even if you didn't really feel like it? I can't comprehend how not offering at all could be the less rude option.

Good point. On those very, very , very rare occasions that I've poured a glass of wine for a guest and not wanted one myself, I still pour a small one and nurse it. You needn't even have a sip, really.

HateSummer · 21/08/2016 12:45

Yes of course you do! I offered the sky man a tea or coffee and he gave me his insulated cup so he could take it with him on his next appointment. It's basic manners. I also gave the man who fixed our leaky roof a massive Easter egg during Easter holidays.

electricflyzapper · 21/08/2016 12:47

Glad this is not about buying pints for soldiers in pubs. I thought we might have time armed back to the 1940s.

Re tea/coffee for tradesmen: no, I'm afraid I don't offer. I find it really hard to offer hospitality to anyone, not because I am a cunt as a previous poster suggested, but just because I have hang ups. I am always very glad when tradesmen ask for a drink or clearly state they have their own means of making one because that helps me enormously. I have had loads of tradesmen work for me. The vast majority bring a thermos (first day before anyone says they know that I don't offer them drinks) so they clearly don't expect customers to provide for them.

electricflyzapper · 21/08/2016 12:47

First paragraph should have said 'time warped'.

Onenerfwarfrombreakdown · 21/08/2016 12:57

Yes I always offer a drink with biscuits - I'm Scottish and my granny would rise from her grave and haunt me forever if I didn't Wink it's totally normal here and I'd say usually accepted with thanks.
I've also noticed that the workmen seem to prefer the wrapped biscuits - I wondered if it was because they didn't "trust" home baking, but the PP who said they prefer to use the wrapper when they have dirty hands also makes sense (unless the tradesman was just being kind as he'd spotted a snotty toddler or something Grin).

legotits · 21/08/2016 13:04

EFZ my DP does exaggerate the frequency, it still happens lots though.

Naturally he wouldn't be in a bar in uniform but if it's mentioned someone always puts him a pint behind the bar or the landlord will.

No idea if it happens to younger servicemen though. It may be because DP looks grizzled and battle hardened from me from 30+ years of it Grin

TheQuestingVole · 21/08/2016 13:05

I opened this thread thinking you were the reincarnation of my GGDad, who was in WW1 and WW2 and who used to press money for a drink into the palm of any serviceman he encountered, saying, 'Have a drink on me, lad!'

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