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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it's normal and polite to offer servicemen a drink?

180 replies

NeedACleverNN · 20/08/2016 19:50

We had the gas man round yesterday to do a boiler check. I offered him a drink and he gratefully accepted a coffee.

Dh saw the cup on the drying rack and asked if had guests round. Told him no it was the gasman and he looked confused.

I've always thought you offer them a drink. He thinks they are there to do a job and that drinks are not part of it

Yes? No?

OP posts:
Danglyweed · 20/08/2016 21:10

Dh is a painter, him and his team are always delighted to be offered a drink, water, juice, coffee anything.

They did a 5 week outdoor job 2 years ago when it was scorching all summer. No drinks offered, the door was unlocked twice a day for 3 mins for the 3 of them to pee only, all phones were to be handed over on arrival.

sparechange · 20/08/2016 21:14

DH saw a cup on the drying rack and asked if you'd had guests.

Is he Sherlock fucking Holmes?

SIL popped over yesterday afternoon and we had a glass of wine. Later that night, DH put something in the dishwasher, spotted the glasses and asked innocently who had been over. I see it as taking an interest in my day, nothing more.
To leap to suggestions of abuse and control is mahoosive projection.

shiteattheseaside · 20/08/2016 21:16

Yes i dont know of any one who wouldnt say do you want a tea or coffee etc?

meowli · 20/08/2016 21:17

He would only ever refuse a drink if he thought the homeowner had a dirty kitchen.

Oh no, judgemental tradesmen! Even more of a minefield. I always make sure I don't give them a chipped mug or one with tannin stains. Didn't think they'd also be scrutinising my kitchen!

LBOCS2 · 20/08/2016 21:18

They did a 5 week outdoor job 2 years ago when it was scorching all summer. No drinks offered, the door was unlocked twice a day for 3 mins for the 3 of them to pee only, all phones were to be handed over on arrival

WTAF?! Phones handed over? On what basis?!

I always offer drinks and for long jobs I point them in the direction of the kitchen.

I have found that British trades(wo)men accept enthusiastically, whereas Eastern European ones almost always turn me down. I can only assume that they don't run on tea unlike our homegrown ones.

hungryhippo90 · 20/08/2016 21:18

I offer everyone who comes in my house a cuppa. Just seems polite.
I'd far rather be the "odd but kind woman" than whatever would be used to describe the woman who didn't offer a drink.
Despite when me and Husband are relaxing, it's real effort to make tea. I don't particularly go for it. So always forget to make them for him

purplefizz26 · 20/08/2016 21:18

I always offer a drink to anybody doing work in my house.

TroysMammy · 20/08/2016 21:18

I always let them start work first and then offer. I've just got it in my head they shouldn't be hanging around drinking tea from the off but getting on with the job. I don't start my working day with a cup of tea. I have one at home and one two hours into my shift.

someonestolemynick · 20/08/2016 21:18

I visit clients in their home and the best majority offer me a drink.

I never expect it and very often decline (I get offered loooots of drinks) but I have noticed that the people who do not offer a drink tend to be awkward in other ways, too. The coffee Oracle has never been wrong yet.Grin

FruOla · 20/08/2016 21:19

"all phones were to be handed in on arrival"

Whaaat? Where on earth were they working? GCHQ?!

Peanutbutterpussycat · 20/08/2016 21:21

I had a workman here not long ago and he accepted a drink, he said if a house looks dirty then he always says no Hmm

shinynewusername · 20/08/2016 21:21

The man that came to sort out my wasps this week got a big glass of Ribena with ice

That's just evil - wasps love Ribena Wink

CafeCremeMerci · 20/08/2016 21:22

Dh is a painter, him and his team are always delighted to be offered a drink, water, juice, coffee anything. They did a 5 week outdoor job 2 years ago when it was scorching all summer. No drinks offered, the door was unlocked twice a day for 3 mins for the 3 of them to pee only, all phones were to be handed over on arrival

Are they not familiar with the words FUCK & OFF.

Theimpossiblegirl · 20/08/2016 21:25

I walked past a house today where the lady who lives there was just going out and had left a tray on the doorstep with a sandwich, a packet of crisps and 2 bottles of beer for her builder.

CafeCremeMerci · 20/08/2016 21:29

Yep - directions to the loo & drinks for tradesmen, waifs & strays 😁

Tea, coffee (instant or machine) & I run through the cold drink options too.

If they're there when I'm going out or for more than half a day I'll make the first 'round' then tell them to help themselves - hot or cold drinks. If they're there for more than a day or two I'll tell them how the oven & microwave works if they want to use them.

I also tell them to feel free to use the lounge to have their lunch etc if they want to.

Some make themselves at home & some don't even run the cold tap - but it's up to them.

Sparklingbrook · 20/08/2016 21:29

He didn't get the Ribena until the wasp murdering had happened shiny Grin. I even let him sit in my living room and drink it. Shock

Jacobbay · 20/08/2016 21:29

I always ask the Tesco delivery person if they need the loo. They aren't allowed to leave their van unattended whilst delivering.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/08/2016 21:30

I'm another who thought this was about buying drinks for the armed forces. I was going to say I wish it was it would save me a few quid!

I offer workmen/women a drink. It's rude not to imo.

e1y1 · 20/08/2016 21:31

YADNBU - we always offer workmen (maybe excepting the window cleaner - he is here 2 mins and we are not always in).

I know you have already commented on it, but your DH noticing the cup, let alone mentioning anything about it, is really odd. I don't know why, but it would sound piercing alarm bells to me.

Vvlgari · 20/08/2016 21:33

I still don't get why people think offering tradespeople a drink is weird or wrong. I always offer tea, coffee, cold drinks and even gave the last lot of builders a couple of beers on their last day as it was hot and they had worked like demons.

BleakBetty · 20/08/2016 21:34

Yanbu at all! I always offer (and mostly they say no anyway).

I think it's just courteous and polite :)

legotits · 20/08/2016 21:34

We had recent work that over ran, I know the lads' order by heart and even bought cans (pop no stella) to get us through the hot days.

I use my DF technique with long jobs.
I offer to do the lunch run on day one and two, taking payment of a bacon butty.

I know the best local shops plus no one needs to down tools, pack up and fuck off for two hours.

Draw back is massive work men dumps in the downstairs lav.
I ignore it until the jobs finished

Marmite27 · 20/08/2016 21:38

Few years ago, boiling hot day, next door but ones gardeners were working in her garden while she was at work. I offered them cold drinks which gratefully accepted (plus an Asda rocket lolly each). Now they always trim my hedge when they do hers if it needs doing.

I've told them not to, or to invoice me, but apparently it only takes two minutes and it's no bother....

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 20/08/2016 21:47

We have builders' mugs here. Not just for builders but we bought them when we were having some work done and use them for any work people who are here. If it's just a quick visit I'd offer a drink. Builders get regular offers of tea/coffee, get told where everything is if we're going to be out, and home baking every day. Our builders had a work experience lad for a couple of days. He was lovely but hadn't dressed properly for the cold weather. I made him lots of hot chocolate which he was grateful for. I also offer to refill the postman's water bottle if it's a hot day.

The last builder we had actually admitted that they judge a job on the quality or quantity of refreshments they are offered. If they are treated badly they won't do the job badly but won't do any extras and won't go back another time. We recently had a very small (30 minute) job which needed doing. The builder did it for free in return for all the cakes when they were here before.

TeaBelle · 20/08/2016 21:53

Drinks - always
Biscuits - if here over a biscuity time (10 or 3)
Lunch - used to do this with our builder when I was on mat leave
Dinner - on the odd occasion when said builder has stayed late to get a job done in our preferred timescale