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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it's normal and polite to offer servicemen a drink?

180 replies

NeedACleverNN · 20/08/2016 19:50

We had the gas man round yesterday to do a boiler check. I offered him a drink and he gratefully accepted a coffee.

Dh saw the cup on the drying rack and asked if had guests round. Told him no it was the gasman and he looked confused.

I've always thought you offer them a drink. He thinks they are there to do a job and that drinks are not part of it

Yes? No?

OP posts:
GrumpyOldBag · 20/08/2016 20:46

Definitely normal if the person is going to be staying at your house working for an amount of time.

However my dh is at the opposite extreme of yours and offers tea to the postman if he's just collecting a signature or the Ocado Delivery man. Which is nice but a bit weird.

INXS · 20/08/2016 20:47

"I don't have hot drinks myself so I have to admit I'm not very good at remembering to offer them to anyone else blush "

I'm the same harder I'm trying to get better though!

"christ almighty, it's a wonder anyone can post a single thing about what there dh did or said on here...sometimes the poor feckers can't do anything without someone leaping on it."

Clash I think I would have felt more charitable to the OP's husband if he didn't have such an uncharitable stance on offering drinks to tradesmen! (I know I just said I am not perfect at offering drinks but I do at least try!)

bigbluebus · 20/08/2016 20:47

I always offer a drink if they are likely to be at my house for longer than 10 minutes. Biscuits will depend on who it is and how long they will be there, I even made a coffee for a delivery driver the other week who was at my door for seconds delivering a parcel only to then find one of his van tyres was completely flat so he had to wait outside my house for over an hour for the tyre service truck to come and change his wheel.

Gazelda · 20/08/2016 20:48

Of course! I also offer a cuppa to tradespeople working on outside projects at neighbour's houses if I know they're not at home. (Such as window cleaners, gardeners, etc).

It was a scorching day recently and my Tesco delivery driver looked parched. Their vans aren't air conditioned. So I offered him an ice pop which he was very grateful for. My DH thought I'd overstepped the boundary of familiarity Confused.

GrumpyOldBag · 20/08/2016 20:48

Builders in for a week or 2, this is what I do:

Stock up on PG Tips, Milk & Sugar.

First drink of the day you make for them, then invite them to help themselves when they want one (showing them where the kettle is etc).

Also show them where the loo is. The one you want them to use, i.e. probably not your ensuite.

almondpudding · 20/08/2016 20:49

I also assumed the OP was buying drinks for random members of the RAF.

Danglyweed · 20/08/2016 20:50

Ah ffs, my dh too would notice a different mug on the rack as we both have our 'own' favourite mugs and no cunt else shall ever touch them.

I always try to remember to offer a drink, sometimes so busy running about after the dc that I do forget and feel bad afterwards Blush

Egosumquisum · 20/08/2016 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

almondpudding · 20/08/2016 20:51

If my DH came in and found only one mug out on our draining rack, he'd think I'd employed a team of cleaners.

Crunchymum · 20/08/2016 20:53

Fair enough about the cup.

Your DH is mean for thinking tradespeople should not be offered a drink though.

gingerboy1912 · 20/08/2016 20:55

Yes I offer everyone a drink who comes into my home yanbu

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 20/08/2016 20:55

He wasn't being mean. He just didn't think it was a done thing.

His parents were not exactly Mr and Mrs generous so he probably never saw it happen. He has always been out when ever we had tradespeople down so he wouldn't have seen me do it either

OP posts:
Passmethecrisps · 20/08/2016 20:55

We once got a phone call from a lovely chap who was working on our house while we were away. It was a very hot day and he had spied a beer in the fridge. He wanted to know if he could drink it and replace it tomorrow.

Sparklingbrook · 20/08/2016 20:55

We have a dishwasher so no mug monitoring done here. Grin

Crunchymum · 20/08/2016 20:56

It was the combination of the husband noticing the cup, questioning the OP and then telling her she was wrong to offer tradesperson a drink that led me to the conclusion that the husband could be a bit or an arse!!!

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 20/08/2016 20:57

Ah see we are too poor for a dishwasher. Plus got no room for it in the kitchen really. Even our washing machine and tumble dryer are in an outhouse

OP posts:
Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 20/08/2016 20:58

He didn't tell me i was wrong he just sounded surprised to why I offered.

When I asked why, he said he thought they were there for a job and wouldn't have thought about a drink

OP posts:
user1471450412 · 20/08/2016 21:00

Yes, any tradesperson working at my house gets an offer of a brew. Maybe two if they are there for a few hours.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 20/08/2016 21:01

The bathroom is being done at the moment. I'm out most of the time they're here so I've left tea, coffee and biscuits out. Just left bread for toast and butter otherwise.

Crunchymum · 20/08/2016 21:02

OK well to clearly don't like me disagreeing with you???

Look based on what you posted it sounded odd... how am I to know that you have a preferred cup, your DH has mean parents and doesn't deal with tradespeople who come to your house so doesn't know what the 'done' thing is??? Confused

Passmethecrisps · 20/08/2016 21:03

Dh is shedding dubiety over beer story but I know it is true.

I wish I could be easy breezy with tradespeople in my house but I am not generally. I find it weird and I become socially incompetent

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 20/08/2016 21:04

Not disagreeing as such. Correcting

OP posts:
LanaorAna1 · 20/08/2016 21:04

Yes of course. And to delivery people at work - who often flog around all day with no access to a soothing cuppa, let alone the loo.

FruOla · 20/08/2016 21:05

Another one who thought, by the thread title, that the OP spent her time hanging around in pubs enthusiastically offering drinks to anyone from the armed forces Grin

Yes, anyone who comes here is offered a hot or cold drink and biscuits.

A few years ago our road was being resurfaced. DP came home during the day and chatted to the guys doing the resurfacing - I came home to find 6 extra, used mugs neatly lined up on our front wall!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 20/08/2016 21:08

I thought the OP meant ournarmed forces, too!

Tradesmen, is what I'd call them, but yes, I do always offer tea/coffee, or a cold drink if that's what they prefer.