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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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WIBU to shout at this girl?

167 replies

WindInThePussyWillows · 20/08/2016 14:59

Was driving along a busy road - 40mph limit was doing about 30 as trafficy.
Younger woman, 19 stepped out in the road with headphone in and glued to her phone and ran across the road.
I had to emergency stop to avoid hitting her and the car behind went smack into me. The other car saw her step out and weren't mad they said they of done the same and couldn't believe I didn't hit her.

I had my very young baby twins in the back of my car (who are fine we've been checked) but I told the girl how stupid she had been and how careless she was and lucky she didn't cause a worse accident.
I did raise my voice I was so angry and shook up and worried.

She said it was inappropriate for me to shout at her as she's only 19 and still a child.
I said if she classes herself as a child and can't take responsibility for her actions and acts so carelessly she shouldn't be out without a chaperone (I know that's not the case but she wanted to play the child card)

She then told me to fuck off and walked off, glued to her phone and plugged her headphones back in.

I'm only 23 so not like a much older woman yelling at a kid.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Doggity · 21/08/2016 18:12

The troll hunting is getting boring now. You're not big and you're not clever. Just report if you don't believe.

LondonDove · 21/08/2016 18:17

WellErr I think I know what you mean. Try the single twin section of Sands or multiple loss page if you need support. I seem to be plagued with them too at the moment. Particularly bloody ID twins, which is what I had. They're everywhere I look. But it's not the OPs fault. Go on Sands and vent. You might feel better X

BlitzPig · 21/08/2016 19:09

My insurance went up when another driver went into the back of me, they said that even though it wasn't my fault it still made me statistically at greater risk of having an accident. I'd be very pissed off with this girl given her lack of apology, more than the other driver whose lapse in concentration/judgement was likely to be less extreme than walking across a busy road without looking.

nattygk · 21/08/2016 19:12

Not at all if it had of been me she would of got more than a bolicking I see these young adults think they are above the law when she was in the wrong you should of got the police

HeyOverHere · 21/08/2016 19:27

You were not the least bit unreasonable. At 19 she isn't a child, and even if she was, she should know better than to just step into traffic, especially in a 40 zone!! She was 100% at fault and is lucky that a good yelling was all that happened to her that day.

AlexRose5 · 21/08/2016 20:01

Omg what a horrid ungrateful little horror! She should have apologised unreservedly and felt utterly mortified that she caused an accident with hit carelessness . A child my foot! Intellectually doesn't count she a grown woman.
Glad to read you are your babies are ok OP! 🌸 No thanks to that silly moron!

AlexRose5 · 21/08/2016 20:02

*her

maddiemookins16mum · 21/08/2016 20:05

Fgs, the op is told off for calling her a girl 😒😒. Glad you're ok OP, she was an idiot.

OhShitFuck · 21/08/2016 20:13

I'd have kicked her.

OhShitFuck · 21/08/2016 20:13

Glad you and the kids are ok though.

limitedperiodonly · 21/08/2016 20:22

19 is not a child, I had a child when I was 19.

Me too. At 19 I had a child. Well, actually I didn't. I had a rabbit but he was like a child. He died when I was 13 but I think that counts. I'm not sure how I'd have felt if he'd been run over but I'm pretty sure I would have been sad.

FTM89 · 21/08/2016 20:31

Argh can people stop troll hunting. If you don't believe it then report and fuck of to another thread
Also consider for a second that if you are wrong then the op has just been through a car accident and having to replace car seat and all the other stress, do you really think she needs to hear a chorus of "oh this is unbelievable" from a bunch of wannabe columbo

limitedperiodonly · 21/08/2016 20:36

I'd have kicked her.

You've been watching Jade Jones in the Taekwondo OhShitFuck. Magnificent, wasn't she?

WhatNowNorris · 21/08/2016 20:47

Poor you OP, you must have been shook up and ydwnbu at shouting at this woman, not a child a 19 year old woman!

Yes, it's the driver behind who was ultimately at fault but the cause was this silly entitled twunt.

When I had a dog, I had her insured, if she had caused this accident by bolting across the road and if the OP had to swerve and damaged her car that way then I'm sure she could have claimed from my pet insurance. Perhaps there should be 'not safe to walk the street' insurance for all of the earplug wearing, numpties out there, seriously! There also are tons of drivers who need to read over their Highway Code about safe breaking distances!

RequestInUse · 21/08/2016 20:48

Wow, what an uter twatface that woman,woman Was!

I teach and ended up in a "conversation" with the 16/17 yr old students that left me physically shaking with anger and annoyance towards them. They were saying how they like to walk in front of cars, they have breaks so it's ok, they will stop. It could be a bit of a game!!! And if they got hit, oh well, compensation! I was livid, no amount of my trying to educate them was going in. It was like trying to play chess with a pigeon so I just called then idiots and walked off.

PurplePenguins · 21/08/2016 20:50

She is BU not you. At 19 she is an adult not a child. I was pregnant at 19. She should have been paying attention to the road and her surroundings not her phone. If she carries on it is only a matter of time before she has a serious accident unfortunately. So glad you're OK tho xx

limitedperiodonly · 21/08/2016 21:11

safe breaking distances!

Is that some kind of caper movie?

FastWindow · 21/08/2016 21:15

I'd have taken her to look at my dc, explained fatal whiplash, and then shown her the damage the car behind had done.

then thrown her earphones into a bush

Hope your dc are ok, and you need a big old gin and tonic Flowers

CSUK · 21/08/2016 21:42

Perhaps some people will think I am being completely unreasonable in saying this - If my child had have been 4 months old, I would not have pulled the emergency stop manoeuvre. I am very glad your precious cargo was okay, with their fragile little bodies it would have taken very little more impact to have had more serious consequences. I personally think the 19 year old in question would have gotten run over by me and she would be the only one needing a paramedic. And then if there had have been anyone I was having a go at it would have been the driver behind.

WindInThePussyWillows · 21/08/2016 21:49

CSUK I don't think that's an unreasonable comment at all. Thinking it through logically you're actually quite right but in the moment it's what I did, it was my judgement of the situation and how I reacted, I saw two options to swerve or to stop - I just couldn't keep going.

OP posts:
FastWindow · 21/08/2016 21:56

CSUK not U but unrealistic. If you have enough time to consciously choose whether to save the dc whiplash or hit a pedestrian, it's not an emergency stop. Which is so ingrained into drivers that you both stop AND fling your arm over the passenger seat (regardless of if there is anyone sitting there!)

CSUK · 21/08/2016 22:47

My recollection on how to do an emergency stop consisted of checking my rear view... I don't expect it to be a popular opinion, but the amount of people that cause more danger by swerving and braking too hard... I am not saying you should have ploughed into her or mowed her down, just braking less hard would have been a lot less risk to everyone. The girl at worst would have had a bit of a bump. Given the choice of my 4 month old going from travelling at 30 to 0 immediately, or hitting a 19 year old at 19 mph... Sorry love, you might look where you're going in future! Smile

WindInThePussyWillows · 21/08/2016 22:59

CSUK again, I do completely agree but in the moment, in the second I just didn't process all the options, hind sight is a wonderful thing I guess! But agree a bit of a bump might have done her some good Wink

OP posts:
FastWindow · 21/08/2016 23:17

Noone checks their rear view first in an emergency stop situation. This again would not constitute an emergency stop, am i on my own here?

Person walks in front of car. Driver exclaims 'Shit!' and jams on brakes, hard as possible. Possibly and in this case gets rearended. Secondary fault lies with rearender, as in 99.9 % of cases.

Im aghast that the opinion is that hitting the 19 year old on purpose would merely be a lesson, in the way that internal organ damage and broken legs will do to you.

That in no way changes how stupid i think she was to walk out in the road oblivious. Shes had a huge escape, and due to your shock, you couldn't have made her any more aware of it.

DixieWishbone · 21/08/2016 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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