WIBU to shout at this girl?

[WindInThePussyWillows]

Was driving along a busy road - 40mph limit was doing about 30 as trafficy.
Younger woman, 19 stepped out in the road with headphone in and glued to her phone and ran across the road.
I had to emergency stop to avoid hitting her and the car behind went smack into me. The other car saw her step out and weren't mad they said they of done the same and couldn't believe I didn't hit her.

I had my very young baby twins in the back of my car (who are fine we've been checked) but I told the girl how stupid she had been and how careless she was and lucky she didn't cause a worse accident.
I did raise my voice I was so angry and shook up and worried.

She said it was inappropriate for me to shout at her as she's only 19 and still a child.
I said if she classes herself as a child and can't take responsibility for her actions and acts so carelessly she shouldn't be out without a chaperone (I know that's not the case but she wanted to play the child card)

She then told me to fuck off and walked off, glued to her phone and plugged her headphones back in.

I'm only 23 so not like a much older woman yelling at a kid.

WIBU?

[gonetoseeamanaboutadog]

Gone in a rear facing seat they would have been extremely safe unless in a very bad accident.

No, you said extremely. No child is 'safe' in a car accident.

[Andbabymakesthree]

You are very ignorant and misinformed Gone but you clearly have no interest in being educated. Btw I said very safe not extremely safe but you carry on picking holes with me instead of contributing to the OP.

[Arkhamasylum]

You sound like you were very restrained, OP.

Hopefully, your shock will have penetrated her blythe sense of entitlement just enough so she doesn't do it again.

[gonetoseeamanaboutadog]

Our ideas of extremely safe are very different. You're talking rubbish. No car seat renders babies immune from harm in all but a ' very bad accident '. Would that they did.

[Ohb0llocks]

I'd have shouted at her. Especially pulling out the child card. I'm fuming for you OP. Glad you and your babies are ok.

[Andbabymakesthree]

Gone in a rear facing seat they would have been extremely safe unless in a very bad accident.

[vladimpaler]

What an absolute fucking tool. A product of an educational system that tells children that they:

• are all special
• are allowed 25 chances to retake/rewrite/actually bother the hand something in.
• know their 'rights', but not the responsibilities that come with those rights.
• are poor victims of the state/society/their parents/the Police/nature (if they are a bit dense). Nothing is their fault.
• don't ever lose at anything.

I see it more and more in the young school levers I interview. Slouching in their chair; what a bastard I am for not giving them a job....

By failing to equip children to deal with others in society as equal partners rather than providers of whatever they want without actually having to do anything for it, some school teachers are arguably guilty of abuse.

[Sunshineonacloudyday]

I got in a car accident when I crossed the road the woman felt so guilty she gave me all her details.

[gonetoseeamanaboutadog]

Truth is your twins would have been very safe in their rear facing seats.

No, there is no such thing as 'very safe' in a car accident.

[Andbabymakesthree]

Truth is your twins would have been very safe in their rear facing seats. Ps if maxi cosi ( and most other infant carriers but do check ) make sure handles up!

[scampimom]

I'll bet the daft bint went home and whined that a mean lady nearly KILLED her on PURPOSE and then SHOUTED at her, like, loads, and it really really hurt her feelings and it's not FAIR.

Before plaiting her dolly's hair and putting on her Doc McStuffins pyjamas and dreaming about boys.

[CSUK]

Just so I do come off a little more reasonable - I have been hit by a car, knocked off my bike, when I was a child. That WAS my fault, then clipped another time walking, which was not so much my fault. I have also clipped a child who ran off the pavement in front of me. In ALL of these scenarios, I was the one who felt terribly guilty, even when the kid ran out in front of me. (For peace of mind here, I did rear view, stopped safely and only just clipped him. He fell to ground, ran off so I had to run after him and check he was okay. He was more worried about getting into trouble when his Mom found out. She was always having to tell him off for running into traffic. One of my passengers knew he and his mother) The one that wasn't my fault, where I stepped off the pavement was completely blind to a driver and they cornered far too quickly to make sure it was safe to. That driver did shout and have a go but was definitely in the wrong.

[RandomName9]

I think you sound very restrained..I think had that have been me she has pulled that "I'm a child" crap on, I would have been on the phone to her parents followed swiftly by smashing her phone & ear phones on the floor so she couldn't do it again Glad your little ones are fine though!

[AntoninArtaud]

I think she was being a complete idiot who endangered the lives of herself, the OP and the OP's babies, but wishing her harm that some of the previous posters have indicated is... extreme.

Glad that you and your children are doing well, OP.

[WiddlinDiddlin]

Definitely not unreasonable to shout at her - you were in shock, SHE caused the accident and at 19 no she's not a child, not sure where she's got THAT idea from!

I got run over at 13 - it was ENTIRELY my fault, I ran out following my friend (who also ran out) from in front of a bus pulled up at the bus stop, into traffic.

The driver of the Ford Sierra (red, you don't forget these details!) did an emergency stop and he missed my friend but.. not me.

I remember wondering why I couldn't run, why was I frozen in one spot (I wasn't) and who was screaming (me) and then I went over the bonnet and got a good smash in the ribs off the wing mirror as I rolled off the side.

Even at 13, even in shock, even MORTIFIED because this was coming out of school time and of course, every kid in school had miraculously appeared to see me splatted on the floor, skirt up, knickers on show, i was absolutely HORRIFIED that I had scared the shit out of this poor driver - he was in BITS, he was seriously in shock... I just couldnt stop saying sorry!

I was absolutely 100% aware it was entirely my fault and I had put this poor man through a moment of hell - in fact i was so embarrassed I actually didnt tell anyone, went to my mates house for her birthday party and the guy must have gone to the police (as he should) and reported the accident and also called my parents (I must have given him my details but I dont remember) as my mum rang my friends house worried and then I got a royal bollocking off friends mum for not telling her either!

Sorry, rambling on - at 19 she should know to bloody look before she crosses the road and a 'sorry' wouldnt have gone amiss!

[nursepearl]

You were in shock so not unreasonable. I would have been angry and shouted too especially as she showed no remorse or responsibility at the accident she caused! I would have been tempted to report to the police so this ' child' could be reprimanded. Unrealistic to do this probably though.

[FastWindow]

Noone checks their rear view first in an emergency stop situation. This again would not constitute an emergency stop, am i on my own here?

Person walks in front of car. Driver exclaims 'Shit!' and jams on brakes, hard as possible. Possibly and in this case gets rearended. Secondary fault lies with rearender, as in 99.9 % of cases.

Im aghast that the opinion is that hitting the 19 year old on purpose would merely be a lesson, in the way that internal organ damage and broken legs will do to you.

That in no way changes how stupid i think she was to walk out in the road oblivious. Shes had a huge escape, and due to your shock, you couldn't have made her any more aware of it.

[WindInThePussyWillows]

CSUK again, I do completely agree but in the moment, in the second I just didn't process all the options, hind sight is a wonderful thing I guess! But agree a bit of a bump might have done her some good

[CSUK]

My recollection on how to do an emergency stop consisted of checking my rear view... I don't expect it to be a popular opinion, but the amount of people that cause more danger by swerving and braking too hard... I am not saying you should have ploughed into her or mowed her down, just braking less hard would have been a lot less risk to everyone. The girl at worst would have had a bit of a bump. Given the choice of my 4 month old going from travelling at 30 to 0 immediately, or hitting a 19 year old at 19 mph... Sorry love, you might look where you're going in future!

[FastWindow]

CSUK not U but unrealistic. If you have enough time to consciously choose whether to save the dc whiplash or hit a pedestrian, it's not an emergency stop. Which is so ingrained into drivers that you both stop AND fling your arm over the passenger seat (regardless of if there is anyone sitting there!)

[WindInThePussyWillows]

CSUK I don't think that's an unreasonable comment at all. Thinking it through logically you're actually quite right but in the moment it's what I did, it was my judgement of the situation and how I reacted, I saw two options to swerve or to stop - I just couldn't keep going.

[CSUK]

Perhaps some people will think I am being completely unreasonable in saying this - If my child had have been 4 months old, I would not have pulled the emergency stop manoeuvre. I am very glad your precious cargo was okay, with their fragile little bodies it would have taken very little more impact to have had more serious consequences. I personally think the 19 year old in question would have gotten run over by me and she would be the only one needing a paramedic. And then if there had have been anyone I was having a go at it would have been the driver behind.

[FastWindow]

I'd have taken her to look at my dc, explained fatal whiplash, and then shown her the damage the car behind had done.

then thrown her earphones into a bush

Hope your dc are ok, and you need a big old gin and tonic